Disrespectful or socially unaware DH.

[whatisforteamum]

Sunday afternoon I get home from a blisteringly hot busy shift that includes a couple of miles walk home.
Straight into a cool bath.The house is boiling so after a couple of sticky hours I decided to lie on my low sun lounger turned towards the left as I only have patterned top no bra and pj shorts on.
Fine it's cooler I can lie here and scroll on my phone.
DH who has had the day off comes out to water plants.Fine I said I would but he is doing it.
He then starts a conversation with the neighbour on the right causing the man to peak over as the fence he put in is six foot!!
I stay facing the other fence until I can sneak back in the patio door.
The thing is DH had already had chats with neighbour in the day.
When confronted DH said I could put a bikini on.
Am I'm being unreasonable to expect some privacy iny own garden.having worn a thick uniform all day.?

I don’t understand the issue. You were wearing a top and shorts and he said to put a bikini on?

I didn't have a bra on and boxer pj bottoms.

Maybe I'm a bit prudish nearing 60.🤣

Its not like you were lying there naked. Don't really get the issue

No clue what the issue is here.

I DO NOT wear a bra at home. Your DH is an idiot.

I just think there are times when you are allowed to be under dressed and left alone.

To be fair to your DH, he can’t know if the neighbour is going to peer over the fence. It’s not a crime to chat to your neighbour and unreasonable for him to have to think, I better not start a conversation incase he peers over.

Before you mentioned your husband, your story really made me feel all comfy and relaxed.

Just have a firm word with your dh saying that you do not appreciate him initiating a conversation with your neighbour when you are resting after a busy shift and sitting bra-less in the garden and can he use his bonce a bit more! It’s a bit of a non issue. Just explain that it makes you feel really uncomfortable and could he please think a bit more before acting?

Unless your dh has form for embarrassing you deliberately, or treats you badly generally, this can be easily resolved can’t it?

Sorry op but only you can know if he was being deliberately disrespectful or not, not a load of strangers on the internet who have no context and no idea how he behaves generally. Is there more background to this than you are explaining?

I don’t see an issue in being seen in what you were wearing. You were covered up.

In the warm weather, l sit in the garden topless, l mow the lawn topless. I can be seen by neighbours at a push if they struggle to look. Do you know what? It’s my garden and l don’t care,

I dont think you can dictate when your husband talks to your neighbour. You were dressed and there was no expectation of you standing up and joining in. If I've read it right your lounger was also facing away.

Shorts and top is not "under dressed".

This!

So dramatic.You were wearing a top?
There's no rules that say you have to wear a bra so it's not like you were inappropriately.dressed anyway. Is that the real issue?

There’s nothing wrong with what you were wearing, it’s your garden.

If you don’t want your DH chatting in the garden with a neighbour you need to ask him specifically not to.. it doesn’t seem there’s a reason to though? It wasn’t interfering with you.

Your DH is not psychic, he can’t really be expected to avoid starting a conversation with a neighbour because you’re lying there with a top and pj shorts on. How is he to know you don’t want to be seen?

You're being precious OP. Your dh did nothing wrong.

How would wearing a bikini be a better outfit for your neighbour to see you in than a “patterned t shirt” and shorts.

Your neighbour won’t know or care that they’re PJ shorts or that you presumably had no knickers underneath them.

Unless he was straining hard he won’t have noticed you wearing no bra under your top - especially as it was patterned so any rogue nipples would have been camouflaged.

Sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill to me. How was your H supposed to know that your perfectly modest outfit felt to you so scandalous that you shouldn’t be seen by anyone but him?

If you want to sit with t shirt and no in your garden that’s your choice, but your DH did nothing wrong by chatting to the neighbour.

It’s pretty controlling that you think he shouldn’t be allowed to make small talk while watering the garden because he spoke to the neighbour in the morning!

He was neither disrespectful or lacking in social awareness. It just sounds like you were hot and tired so your DH was probably going to piss you off whatever he did or didn't do.

No issue here.

What a non-issue.

Your poor husband. "Sorry Bob, I can't talk to you. Whatisforteamum hasn't got a bra on under her top"

Your post also implies that your neighbour is a creepy pervert, because he might see you dressed, but without a bra?

I don’t think he was being either socially unaware or disrespectful. You sound (understandably) cranky after a long shift, but your logic of ‘I’ve been wearing a thick uniform all day, therefore I’m lightly dressed on a sunlounger, therefore DH should not start chatting to the neighbour in case he sees me’ isn’t clear to me. I mean, you already sounded annoyed that he came out to water the plants when you said you would do them, when he was presumably just trying to save you some effort when you were hot and tired?

Thank you I agree.
Hot and not wanting to be noticed as make up free braless older lady.
My bad .