Disrespectful or socially unaware DH.

[whatisforteamum]

Sunday afternoon I get home from a blisteringly hot busy shift that includes a couple of miles walk home.
Straight into a cool bath.The house is boiling so after a couple of sticky hours I decided to lie on my low sun lounger turned towards the left as I only have patterned top no bra and pj shorts on.
Fine it's cooler I can lie here and scroll on my phone.
DH who has had the day off comes out to water plants.Fine I said I would but he is doing it.
He then starts a conversation with the neighbour on the right causing the man to peak over as the fence he put in is six foot!!
I stay facing the other fence until I can sneak back in the patio door.
The thing is DH had already had chats with neighbour in the day.
When confronted DH said I could put a bikini on.
Am I'm being unreasonable to expect some privacy iny own garden.having worn a thick uniform all day.?

Respectfully, that’s not necessarily something a man is all that likely to be attuned to, ‘braless’ and ‘make-up less’ not really being translatable categories. As far as he was concerned, you had clothes on.

Socially unaware or not thinking I think.

Unless your boobs were hanging out the bottom of your top, I can't see the issue. Bob from next door won't care whether you have a bra on or not. He would probably lounge about entirely topless.

I am not aware of a limit on the socially acceptable number of conversations to have with one's neighbours. Sounds like no more than one per day. Help me out here, as I think I may be socially unaware or disrespectful.

Why on earth do you think the neighbours would notice if you were wearing a bra or not and also why would they care?

I had to re read that several times as I thought the issue was you were topless! You had a top on, just no bra so I don’t see the issue.

you seem to have no better issues..

Christ I answer the door to the postie with no bra on. Do people even really notice that? Are women not allowed to go braless these days? You're overreacting!

So long as boobs were covered then what’s the problem. I was out braless under my summer dress in the garden. Nobody would know.

I think your husband is just going about his normal day and I really have no idea what the issue is 🤷🏻‍♀️. The neighbour was talking to your husband not ogling at your (covered) chest?!?

I had to go t the shops yesterday. I was wearing nothing at all under a summer dress, stopped and chatted to a neighbour and they were none the wiser.

What if your neighbour had initiated the conversation?
Should your DH know to go running into the house so as to protect your dignity?

Relax, enjoy the sunshine, bra optional.

Your husband probably didn’t even think about it. As far as he was concerned you had clothes on.
I wouldn’t worry about it

I think my DH would probably not realise that outfit was unsuitable to be seen by a neighbour, if I was happy to wear it outside. I'm guessing part of your irritation is because you felt uncomfortable at having to effectively ignore the neighbour although you obviously knew he was there?

I could understand if he invited someone in to the house and maybe you d be conscious of your boobs jiggling about, but no one would know you were braless but you while you are lying on the lounger? If the neighbour noticed or saw you at all he d think you were were a top and shorts, nothing that would even register with him tbh

I wear sports bras and go out in the garden in those and shorts when it's hot. In fact when I was younger and did a lot of walking I'd discard my top and just have my sports bra if it was hot. Face it, I show off a lot more if I'm wearing a bathing suit of any sort or if I'm in a Euro spa where no suits are allowed.

fyi - approaching 70. Fat and flabby. I don't care what anyone thinks. (but it does scare the young men in the spas if I wink at them....😆)

That would annoy me too op. My dh used to do this with facetiming his mates, with me wandering around in the background in underwear. You are entitled to privacy whatever you're wearing.

How can you be under dressed in your own garden???? You’re being daft

It's your DH's garden too, and he's perfectly entitled to talk to the neighbour as and when he wants. It almost sounds like you think he should ask your permission!

You were dressed perfectly fine for laying in the garden, but if you were uncomfortable dressed like that then it up to you to go and change, not to try to control who your DH is allowed to talk to or not in his own garden!

So, yes, in answer to your question, you are being disrespectful trying to control your husband like this, and indeed socially unaware if you think that your choice of clothes (which you were fully in charge of) should impact on your DH's normal enjoyment of your shared garden.

I go out and feed the birds in a T shirt and shorts combo (my pjs). I must admit that I would probably scuttle if my (mid 20s) male neighbour was out and about but I'd still chat to him over the fence. All my other neighbours are female and we frequently encounter one another in various bra-less situations. I'm mid 60s and nobody turns a hair.

I think this is a 'you' thing, OP. You felt vulnerable, but your DH wasn't to know this.

I don't know about your NDN, the fence etc but I understand there are times when you don't want to be seen in a less 'upholstered' (!!) way. You may have a top on but the boobs, if ample, are obvious in shape and movement ...this is hard to explain without sounding weird. There are situations where I wouldn't want to be seen dressed but without under garments with certain people around so I think I get it, OP.

You wear a bra in this heat? When I was still at the chalk face, when I reached the second set of traffic lights away from school my bra was off, even in my open top car!
I have my commando dress, long floaty and baggy, which is my hot weather in the garden garb.

Apart from when at work l haven’t worn a bra or knix for nearly 2 weeks. Day off today and working from home tomorrow. Nothing underneath and no plans to do cartwheels 😀.

Does your neighbour have xray vision? Or a thing for 60yr old women wearing a top with no bra while laying down in the garden?!

So very odd what people get upset by. And you cant tell you DH when he can and cant talk to the neighbours!

Jesus, I thought you were pissed off because you were sat in just boxer bottoms with nothing at ask on top. I didn’t raise you had a top on and I really, REALLY do not see what the fuss is. If you don’t want to be seen in your garden without a bra, don’t go in your garden without a bra 😂🤷🏼‍♀️. It’s nothing at all to do with your DH who was doing you a favour after you said you would water the plants.

my poor neighbours have seen me fighting to get washing off the line in just my bra and knickers and really it’s no big deal. I one left the bathroom window open full while showering and i was naked. I couldn’t care less 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your neighbour won’t know or care that they’re PJ shorts or that you presumably had no knickers underneath them.

Unless he was straining hard he won’t have noticed you wearing no bra under your top - especially as it was patterned so any rogue nipples would have been camouflaged.