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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?

263 replies

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:11

Perfectly open to hearing that I’m being unreasonable on this.

For background and context - I live on a new build estate that has 70 odd houses privately owned by a corporate landlord - the estate is marketed as a family estate, and is therefore mainly occupied by families with kids.

We are a family of 4 with 2 kids aged 8 and 9. They’re good kids. And I’m not just saying that cos I’m one of those knobhead mums who thinks her babies can do no wrong, they’re genuinely just sound kids.

Our house is a semi detached house - we’ve been here for 8 years and watched tenants come and go. Never had an issue with anyone, so much so the previous neighbour is now one of my best friends. I’m conscious of noise as new builds are notorious for being able to hear your neighbours do so much as fart, but I don’t hear them and according to my now friend, she never heard us, either.

We are relatively quiet people - we are in bed by 9, don’t drink or have parties, don’t play music loud - we don’t even watch TV really. Fully aware that we sound like boring bastards 😂 we’ve never had a problem with our current neighbours - polite hello when we see them etc. So as not to drip feed, my husband always said he thought they were a bit rude but I didn’t notice it as much - I just think some people are more private than others.

We have lots of green space and a massive field in front of our house - because of this, our kids rarely play in the garden and I don’t let them play football, mainly because these houses are mass produced fucking shoeboxes with a lot of them jammed into one place - if they were to kick the ball and hit the fence it is a noise nuisance for around 12 houses and not just our immediate neighbours. Nobody wants to hear a fence being twatted by a ball all day, whether they’ve got kids or not.

Today, they had a game of catch with their Dad and the ball went over the fence, so they asked could they knock at the neighbours and ask for it back, we said yes. They have done this one other time in the whole of the 18 months that they’ve been here - they were playing basketball and I now no longer allow them to play basketball because I don’t want the ball going over the fence.

The neighbour has given my kids down the banks and said they are making her life inconvenient by kicking the ball over.

It’s literally only happened once before and it was a long time ago - when my previous neighbours from any side of my fence managed to kick a ball over, which happened often, I’d just think nothing of it and just throw it back.

If my kids were doing this often and it was a consistent problem, I’d be the first to side with the neighbour, I’d be mortified that we were causing a problem for someone. My stance at the minute is I think she’s a bit of a rude dickhead.

My husband knocked and asked if she was ok as the kids said they’d been shouted at - she replied with “yes, they kicked the ball over, they always do it” to which my husband said “what? No they don’t, they’re just kids but it’s not a frequent issue either.” Neighbour replied with “so what?” - husband said “what do you mean so what? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you?” To which she huffed and puffed and went back in.

I get that kids frequently kicking a ball over into your garden would be a fucking pain in the arse, but this isn’t what’s happening here. We’ve knocked to see if there wa a genuine issue but got nowhere. She was a rude arsehole. I also think if there was a problem she should have spoke to me or my husband as we are the adults, rather than shout at my 8 and 9 year old who just asked for their ball back.

To be honest, my hormones are getting the better of me right now and I feel like getting all of the flat balls and lashing them over into her garden for her miserable face to stare at and feel inner rage at.

I often take parcels in for them - as I do for other neighbours - not particularly something that bothers me as it’s just neighbourly? Some big bastard fuck off parcels, too - which, in my tiny hall means we have to clamber over them until she gets off her high horse and comes to pick them up. But hey ho, they’re not there forever and I’m only being cunty about it now as she’s rattled my cage because not once have I moaned about that ‘inconvenience’. Not even when I was in the midst of shaving my gorilla legs and had to dive out of the bath soaking wet and looking like a fat tramp with half shaved legs to open the door to the dpd driver for more of her shit.

I’m not one of those parents who thinks that those who don’t have kids should have to put up with other peoples kids, cos truth be told, even though I’ve got kids, most other peoples kids annoy me. But a ball going over the fence really isn’t a big deal, is it?!

And surely, if you don’t want to deal with the potential issues kids bring, don’t move onto an estate marketed at families that is slap bang in the middle of three primary schools.

You know what, I’m still open to replies but after writing that I just think she’s a dick and next time I get a parcel for her I’m either a) gonna jump all over it b) throw it over the fence c) knock fuck out of her front door until she gets her arse out of bed to take delivery of her own shit.

Also can’t believe I’ve just spent so much time writing a post about a ball going over a fence, but here we are. Middle age creeps up fucking fast, I used to take mdma in Ibiza, now look at me.

PS I’m moving soon. Fuck that ho.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 30/06/2025 11:54

YABU for kicking the kids out to the “massive green space” to play football. I have one of these in front of my house and despite there being three other spaces specifically designed for kids to play football, they do it right in front of my house. Previously it was where girls would come and hang out and make their TikTok videos and do gymnastics and stuff, but nope, now it is yet another boys’ space.

My ex-neighbour used to host the neighbourhood kids in her garden playing football with her son. Annoying as the noise was, we just got on with it as people can use their gardens. Their ball was kicked over fairly frequently and it was annoying that they came knocking for it so much. I told him he didn’t need to knock, he could just go and get it but still he knocked. Then we got a landshark Labrador puppy. A football came over, puppy pounced and burst it. I said they needed to be careful, if the dog was outside she would kill their ball. About 2 days later, same thing happened. Funnily enough, after that, we rarely had a ball in the garden, despite them still being out there playing for hours.

Maybe your neighbour is on to the right thing. If you make it clear early on then the kids are actually careful enough not to lose their ball over the fence. Your DH uttering the words “they are just kids” would have sent me over the edge too.

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 16:34

@BoredZeldaIt’s a massive park, fenced in - they don’t specifically stick to one space - they go all over the park. They aren’t ’kicked out’, they’re playing out. There’s literally plenty of space for everyone it’s a massive landscaped park that wraps around our whole estate and then some. I have a girl and boy, it’s not specifically just boys who play football. We are lucky where we are in the sense that all of the kids play together and we all look out for each other. Quite wholesome for a gang of scallies and nice to see the kids not being device zombies and having a childhood.

They aren’t loud, you just hear them laughing and come 7pm when they all go in you can hear a pin drop. I’m moving a couple of streets away and staying close because it’s such a nice environment. Hopefully the twatbag next door realises that a ball going over her back fence doesn’t quite equate to ASBO behaviour, but I also hope her next neighbours are fucking absolute nuisances.

To the people on here who have made me howl, love a bit of pettiness and a good old rant that goes on for paragraphs, I love you. You’re my kind of humans. I hope you had a bit of a laugh cos as annoyed as I am, I can be hormonally pissed off with a sense of humour.

Some of you are boss letting the kids just go in the garden to get the ball themselves - I’d be cautious doing this incase I was in a towel half naked bringing that miserable twats parcels in - I don’t want to scar the kids for life if they peer in my patio windows.

My husband is debating whether to spend £50 on flyaways and hockeying (my new fave word) them over the fence before we leave. I’d just rather give her a bombastic side eye and move my car into the space where she parks her car, which is actually right in front of my house even though she has a driveway. Just to be a petty twat in return.

I won’t get into a parking post, those things grow legs fast and I’m out at the minute so can’t draw a diagram.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:10

Just catching up. A bit of friendly advice to all parents with kids, don't let them go fetch a ball themselves! Let alone finding someone sunbathing naked which would be more of a shock to the kid, not necessarily about saving your neighbours dignity, there might be a dog that will attack them. Some people let their dogs stay out in the garden or freely come in and out even when they're not home! Like my selfish entitled, narcissistic bitch new neighbour next door who couldn't give one iota about kids, other dogs, cats or people! She thinks as long as it's on her property, then tough shit! She's happy to take the risk with her aggressive, noisy, unsocialised Romanian street dog she adopted! Please don't anybody ask me to talk to her because I have and she fucking gaslight me at first making me think that she's happy do what she can to minimise the risk but once I got the ball rolling on things that we agreed on, she done a complete U turn. We had to put a catflap in our 100 year old original Victorian panelled door so our cat didn't need to cross her garden to get to the front! Why do new neighbour power trip when everyone else was there before them? Instead of trying to get on? Not just my cat who incidently is a young rescue cat who I've had for two years before she moved in, but all the neighbours cats are in danger too! One was stuck on a fence for an hour and half while her dog was growling and barking at it. Poor creature was absolutely petrified. There's much more to this story but I've attached a photo of the poor cat perched on the wall. Just to add, the bitch (nrighbour not dog) wasn't home! The dog is out all hours any day or night. I can hear the bastard now! Although I am an animal lover so it's not his fault. It's the owner I despise with a passion. I have to stay away from her because one false move and I know I'm going to explode! Any arsey replies will be dealt with accordingly. Don't need anymore toxic, condescending pricks to deal with. If you can be compassionate of the situation....just zip it!

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?
To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?
HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:19

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 30/06/2025 09:11

You are my vibe 😂 as you've said its not often yeah she's a dick and yelling at your kids?!?! Nah you come talk to me not yell at my kids.

I'd get a ring doorbell so you don't have to go mid shave babes, who has time for that. Answer it, ask delivery guy "is it for next door? Sorry mate she's a dickhead not taking her packages" and enjoy your peace. I'm also petty. I try not to be, but I am. I won't openly admit how petty but very.

Yeeting extra balls over requires effort but maybe. I'd potentially toy with packages if I got any - "I don't know, maybe my husband took the package in, I'll ask." Close door. Wait until she comes back "sorry was busy buying more balls for my kids, haven't had chance to speak to dh, I'll ask him later" 😂

It's hard not to be petty with petty people but also would rather not. 🤷

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:21

sashh · 30/06/2025 07:19

She is, her last line is that she is moving soon.

She shouldn't have to though and I don't think she should

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:28

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 06:28

Yes YABU. You also sound like hard work. Good job for your neighbours you are moving soon, hopefully somewhere detached.

I don't think she's actually moving and if she does let's hope she doesn't have you as neighbour!

TeflonMom · 30/06/2025 18:32

Take in the parcels. Then drive them to the big farm in the country where unwanted dogs get sent and make her do a scavenger hunt, not getting the parcel until she’s solved all the clues, each more fiendish than the last.

Consider doing a little bit more MDMA, might help you to calm down a smidge

Great post OP, very entertaining 😂

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:35

TeflonMom · 30/06/2025 18:32

Take in the parcels. Then drive them to the big farm in the country where unwanted dogs get sent and make her do a scavenger hunt, not getting the parcel until she’s solved all the clues, each more fiendish than the last.

Consider doing a little bit more MDMA, might help you to calm down a smidge

Great post OP, very entertaining 😂

So good to know that not all the women on here are up their own arses Pleased to meet you 😀

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 19:08

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:10

Just catching up. A bit of friendly advice to all parents with kids, don't let them go fetch a ball themselves! Let alone finding someone sunbathing naked which would be more of a shock to the kid, not necessarily about saving your neighbours dignity, there might be a dog that will attack them. Some people let their dogs stay out in the garden or freely come in and out even when they're not home! Like my selfish entitled, narcissistic bitch new neighbour next door who couldn't give one iota about kids, other dogs, cats or people! She thinks as long as it's on her property, then tough shit! She's happy to take the risk with her aggressive, noisy, unsocialised Romanian street dog she adopted! Please don't anybody ask me to talk to her because I have and she fucking gaslight me at first making me think that she's happy do what she can to minimise the risk but once I got the ball rolling on things that we agreed on, she done a complete U turn. We had to put a catflap in our 100 year old original Victorian panelled door so our cat didn't need to cross her garden to get to the front! Why do new neighbour power trip when everyone else was there before them? Instead of trying to get on? Not just my cat who incidently is a young rescue cat who I've had for two years before she moved in, but all the neighbours cats are in danger too! One was stuck on a fence for an hour and half while her dog was growling and barking at it. Poor creature was absolutely petrified. There's much more to this story but I've attached a photo of the poor cat perched on the wall. Just to add, the bitch (nrighbour not dog) wasn't home! The dog is out all hours any day or night. I can hear the bastard now! Although I am an animal lover so it's not his fault. It's the owner I despise with a passion. I have to stay away from her because one false move and I know I'm going to explode! Any arsey replies will be dealt with accordingly. Don't need anymore toxic, condescending pricks to deal with. If you can be compassionate of the situation....just zip it!

Bloody hell, your neighbour sounds horrendous. As you say, not the dogs fault, especially as a lot of those Romanian street dogs need SO much work and patience and understanding.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 30/06/2025 19:13

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 16:34

@BoredZeldaIt’s a massive park, fenced in - they don’t specifically stick to one space - they go all over the park. They aren’t ’kicked out’, they’re playing out. There’s literally plenty of space for everyone it’s a massive landscaped park that wraps around our whole estate and then some. I have a girl and boy, it’s not specifically just boys who play football. We are lucky where we are in the sense that all of the kids play together and we all look out for each other. Quite wholesome for a gang of scallies and nice to see the kids not being device zombies and having a childhood.

They aren’t loud, you just hear them laughing and come 7pm when they all go in you can hear a pin drop. I’m moving a couple of streets away and staying close because it’s such a nice environment. Hopefully the twatbag next door realises that a ball going over her back fence doesn’t quite equate to ASBO behaviour, but I also hope her next neighbours are fucking absolute nuisances.

To the people on here who have made me howl, love a bit of pettiness and a good old rant that goes on for paragraphs, I love you. You’re my kind of humans. I hope you had a bit of a laugh cos as annoyed as I am, I can be hormonally pissed off with a sense of humour.

Some of you are boss letting the kids just go in the garden to get the ball themselves - I’d be cautious doing this incase I was in a towel half naked bringing that miserable twats parcels in - I don’t want to scar the kids for life if they peer in my patio windows.

My husband is debating whether to spend £50 on flyaways and hockeying (my new fave word) them over the fence before we leave. I’d just rather give her a bombastic side eye and move my car into the space where she parks her car, which is actually right in front of my house even though she has a driveway. Just to be a petty twat in return.

I won’t get into a parking post, those things grow legs fast and I’m out at the minute so can’t draw a diagram.

Oh please park in “her” space and let us know what happens. Or get some cones out and a sign saying “reserved” then play dumb when she asks who’s done that.

As for the parcels, I’m torn between “don’t take them in”, “take them in then complain about the inconvenience”, and “drop kicking them over the fence”. 🤔

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:15

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:28

I don't think she's actually moving and if she does let's hope she doesn't have you as neighbour!

She couldn’t afford to live next to me

ShiftingSand · 30/06/2025 19:21

I live on a new estate and have young kids next door. If I see a ball I throw it back over. They don’t bother asking for them
back. I also pick up their kiddy snack wrappers that they push under the fence and put them in my bin. I figure that they will grow up very quickly and soon be teenagers who stay in their rooms and I won’t have to deal with these minor problems anymore 😂

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:21

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:23

Wow that really built!

You shouldn't have let the kids knock. The ball going over is fine and part of normal neighbour interactions, but you wait until they're ready to throw it back, you don't go and knock for it.

She sounds unnecessarily rude, but you sound completely unhinged in the latter part of your post so I'm not sure you're a reliable narrator! You were so reasonable for the first two thirds and then it went mad.

That's not 'normal'. It's perfectly usual to knock & ask for your ball back

bellamorgan · 30/06/2025 19:22

Knocking can be annoying and I guess although your children have only launched a ball over once others must of plently of times.

Id stop taking in her parcels though good will goes both ways so fuck her parcels.

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:28

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:57

No, it's rude. You lose your ball in someone's garden, you wait for them to throw it back. That's just good manners.

No it's not, it's nuts. They might not even know who it belongs to.

wizzywig · 30/06/2025 19:29

Sprinkle yr leg hair over the fence. And stop taking her parcels in. The cow.

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:32

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 00:00

I’m genuinely gonna take this on board. But then if it’s left would she be like “fucking cheeky fuckers just leaving their ball in my back garden?” Oh it’s a mine field. But I won’t allow the knocking again. To be fair, I only said yes because it’s not a regular occurrence and it was my sons new ball (his new pride and joy 🥴) but point completely taken 👏 although, I still don’t care if anyone knocks here for balls if any of my nice neighbours are here - come on down 👋 😂

Edited

Many of us don't care! Just because one ouster decides it's rude doesn't make it so.

but I'd go round or DH! Wouldn't put the kids in that position again.

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:35

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 00:06

I'd rather do it on a PM. My language won't be for the faint hearted 🤣

We can all cope with that, many of us want to hear about the dog!?

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:39

TalkToTheHand123 · 30/06/2025 00:37

You are lucky you are not my neighbour. I burst every ball that goes into my garden.

Why?

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 19:40

@onecosycroweeeeeeeeeee my toes are curling reading this reply.

Don’t worry, moneybags, you sound up your own, too. There’s not enough money in the world that would make me want to live next to the kind of person who writes shit like this, and is genuinely serious about it, too.

Can’t believe rockerfeller is on mumsnet. Mad.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:41

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:15

She couldn’t afford to live next to me

Get out of your own bottom dear

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:44

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:35

We can all cope with that, many of us want to hear about the dog!?

It's all written out below 😘

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:45

Above now 🤣

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:47

Wow there's some real pretentious twats on here. Don't you have anything better to do?

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:48

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 19:40

@onecosycroweeeeeeeeeee my toes are curling reading this reply.

Don’t worry, moneybags, you sound up your own, too. There’s not enough money in the world that would make me want to live next to the kind of person who writes shit like this, and is genuinely serious about it, too.

Can’t believe rockerfeller is on mumsnet. Mad.

Stay classy