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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?

263 replies

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:11

Perfectly open to hearing that I’m being unreasonable on this.

For background and context - I live on a new build estate that has 70 odd houses privately owned by a corporate landlord - the estate is marketed as a family estate, and is therefore mainly occupied by families with kids.

We are a family of 4 with 2 kids aged 8 and 9. They’re good kids. And I’m not just saying that cos I’m one of those knobhead mums who thinks her babies can do no wrong, they’re genuinely just sound kids.

Our house is a semi detached house - we’ve been here for 8 years and watched tenants come and go. Never had an issue with anyone, so much so the previous neighbour is now one of my best friends. I’m conscious of noise as new builds are notorious for being able to hear your neighbours do so much as fart, but I don’t hear them and according to my now friend, she never heard us, either.

We are relatively quiet people - we are in bed by 9, don’t drink or have parties, don’t play music loud - we don’t even watch TV really. Fully aware that we sound like boring bastards 😂 we’ve never had a problem with our current neighbours - polite hello when we see them etc. So as not to drip feed, my husband always said he thought they were a bit rude but I didn’t notice it as much - I just think some people are more private than others.

We have lots of green space and a massive field in front of our house - because of this, our kids rarely play in the garden and I don’t let them play football, mainly because these houses are mass produced fucking shoeboxes with a lot of them jammed into one place - if they were to kick the ball and hit the fence it is a noise nuisance for around 12 houses and not just our immediate neighbours. Nobody wants to hear a fence being twatted by a ball all day, whether they’ve got kids or not.

Today, they had a game of catch with their Dad and the ball went over the fence, so they asked could they knock at the neighbours and ask for it back, we said yes. They have done this one other time in the whole of the 18 months that they’ve been here - they were playing basketball and I now no longer allow them to play basketball because I don’t want the ball going over the fence.

The neighbour has given my kids down the banks and said they are making her life inconvenient by kicking the ball over.

It’s literally only happened once before and it was a long time ago - when my previous neighbours from any side of my fence managed to kick a ball over, which happened often, I’d just think nothing of it and just throw it back.

If my kids were doing this often and it was a consistent problem, I’d be the first to side with the neighbour, I’d be mortified that we were causing a problem for someone. My stance at the minute is I think she’s a bit of a rude dickhead.

My husband knocked and asked if she was ok as the kids said they’d been shouted at - she replied with “yes, they kicked the ball over, they always do it” to which my husband said “what? No they don’t, they’re just kids but it’s not a frequent issue either.” Neighbour replied with “so what?” - husband said “what do you mean so what? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you?” To which she huffed and puffed and went back in.

I get that kids frequently kicking a ball over into your garden would be a fucking pain in the arse, but this isn’t what’s happening here. We’ve knocked to see if there wa a genuine issue but got nowhere. She was a rude arsehole. I also think if there was a problem she should have spoke to me or my husband as we are the adults, rather than shout at my 8 and 9 year old who just asked for their ball back.

To be honest, my hormones are getting the better of me right now and I feel like getting all of the flat balls and lashing them over into her garden for her miserable face to stare at and feel inner rage at.

I often take parcels in for them - as I do for other neighbours - not particularly something that bothers me as it’s just neighbourly? Some big bastard fuck off parcels, too - which, in my tiny hall means we have to clamber over them until she gets off her high horse and comes to pick them up. But hey ho, they’re not there forever and I’m only being cunty about it now as she’s rattled my cage because not once have I moaned about that ‘inconvenience’. Not even when I was in the midst of shaving my gorilla legs and had to dive out of the bath soaking wet and looking like a fat tramp with half shaved legs to open the door to the dpd driver for more of her shit.

I’m not one of those parents who thinks that those who don’t have kids should have to put up with other peoples kids, cos truth be told, even though I’ve got kids, most other peoples kids annoy me. But a ball going over the fence really isn’t a big deal, is it?!

And surely, if you don’t want to deal with the potential issues kids bring, don’t move onto an estate marketed at families that is slap bang in the middle of three primary schools.

You know what, I’m still open to replies but after writing that I just think she’s a dick and next time I get a parcel for her I’m either a) gonna jump all over it b) throw it over the fence c) knock fuck out of her front door until she gets her arse out of bed to take delivery of her own shit.

Also can’t believe I’ve just spent so much time writing a post about a ball going over a fence, but here we are. Middle age creeps up fucking fast, I used to take mdma in Ibiza, now look at me.

PS I’m moving soon. Fuck that ho.

OP posts:
VirtueSignaller · 30/06/2025 06:59

Next time you take a parcel in for your difficult neighbour, just say what an inconvenience it is for you and your life. Mirror her actions wherever possible and remember, revenge is a dish best served cold, so bide your time. Don't greet her in a friendly way, just say hi (short) with a poker face. She'll get the message.

TheLemonLemur · 30/06/2025 07:01

You sound very dramatic 2 sentences could have summed up the issue without the irrelevant stuff. I have a rude neighbour I don't take parcels in for its quite simple and I'd let the kids do what they like in the garden if you live in these types of houses noise is to be expected just don't expect balls to be returned

myplace · 30/06/2025 07:03

The garden/ball etiquette…

Our garden is next to the stretch of road everyone plays on. So our garden catches all the balls. The first few knocks we’ll go and get them, but don’t want to constantly interrupt our meals/work/film- whatever we are doing.
So then we tell them they’ll have to wait. At that point they get much more careful and it stops being an issue.

It goes in phases, as the local dc get old enough to play out, gradually learn to control the ball, age out, then it starts again.

But if your dc lose balls over the fence, teaching them they won’t get it back immediately will help their ball skills!

AmandaOreg · 30/06/2025 07:08

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

EleanorReally · 30/06/2025 07:10

she was probably hot and bothered
dont take it to heart
she is a meany

itsgettingweird · 30/06/2025 07:14

2 issues here.

1 - your neighbour overreacting but expecting neighbourly behaviour re parcels in return.

2 - your ability to totally overthink a simple arsey response from your neighbour.

Whether you’re moving or not just forget about today and decline any further deliveries. If she asks why just reply “you said yourself - it’s completely unacceptable to expect and ask for the return of something that’s gone in your neighbours property. So we thought we better stop accepting your parcels”

Ed as parcels autocorrected to tourists 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

EleanorReally · 30/06/2025 07:15

absolutely refuse to take her parcels in
i used to refuse my meany neighbours parcels

SecondStarOnTheRight · 30/06/2025 07:17

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:23

Wow that really built!

You shouldn't have let the kids knock. The ball going over is fine and part of normal neighbour interactions, but you wait until they're ready to throw it back, you don't go and knock for it.

She sounds unnecessarily rude, but you sound completely unhinged in the latter part of your post so I'm not sure you're a reliable narrator! You were so reasonable for the first two thirds and then it went mad.

But if the kids don't knock, how long is if until you notice the ball and how do you know who it belongs to?

If a ball went into my neighbours garden, they'd would never see it to bring it back. My old house, the ball could belong to any of five neighbours.

I think having to knock round five different houses tracing the owner of the ball would be more inconveniencing than a child knocking to ask for the ball!

sashh · 30/06/2025 07:19

ScratCat · 29/06/2025 23:22

Christ, was it necessary to wang on so much?

I didn’t even make it to the end, so I don’t know if you’re being unreasonable or not.

She is, her last line is that she is moving soon.

LittleMG · 30/06/2025 07:26

My kid has lost so many balls over the fence at school. These people who live next to the school just keep them (or throw them who knows) not maybe all the balls drive them mad. BUT THEY LIVE NEXT TO A SCHOOL what did they think was going to happen when they moved in? YANBU

Londonrach1 · 30/06/2025 07:32

Just refuse to take the parcels. I understand why a neighbour be very upset if balls were in the garden all the time but once is different. Ignoring but it's a one off

TroysMammy · 30/06/2025 07:45

The only thing that stuck in my mind about your post @Amybelle88 and I did laugh was a fat tramp with gorilla legs. What was the rest of your post about? 😀

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 30/06/2025 07:48

@Amybelle88 christ, am I the only person who likes the sound of kids playing in the street?? its only a ball!! honestly never bothers me! ps dont stand in a growbag at night. leg hair grows a lot slower!!!

Codlingmoths · 30/06/2025 07:52

I would just ask the dpd man who it’s for in the future and if it’s her say no it’s too inconvenient we don’t take her parcels. Absolutely.

Bigfatsunandclouds · 30/06/2025 08:07

Fuck her. I liked your overly long explanation of a ball going over a fence- it had drama, tension, hairy legs and drugs, what more could you ask for!

TimeForATerf · 30/06/2025 08:07

What is “privately owned by a corporate landlord”?

caramac04 · 30/06/2025 08:16

OP I’m howling at this thread and I’ve not even finished my second coffee
I I want to be your neighbour
It’s not rude to knock the door occasionally but neighbour can fuck off with her parcels from now on.

SparklyGlitterballs · 30/06/2025 08:20

Your NDN is a twat. I'm 60 and have two small kids next door. The little boy sometimes kicks his football over (and frequently against the fence), but I just throw it back as soon as I see it - hopefully before my dog sees it and bites it! It's no big deal because they're nice kids and pleasant neighbours. I'd take delight in refusing any future parcels for the neighbour. No-one that rude deserves any favours doing for them.

Vallmo47 · 30/06/2025 08:21

Thank you for the Monday morning giggle OP- I am spending the entire day at work and needed this. For the record, I hate neighbours like that. We are a bit like you - high expectations on behaviour from our kids, don’t drink, no loud music, often the house is silent from 8pm onwards (husband starts work at 3am). Kids hardly ever outside as it is. One time our next door neighbour knocked on to share that my daughter and a friend sat on the communal grass outside the front and “loudly spoke” straight after school at just gone 3pm. I was like … “are you alright love?” because it’s batshit. He’s in his 70’s, retired, has moved onto a family estate and clearly forgotten what it’s like to have a life.
But we carry on just rising above and being overly respectful. ;) One time I bumped into him and shared that a friend would be popping around for a catch up and I’d like to sit in the garden for a “normal level chat”. He thought about it and said “thank you for warning me”. 🤣🤣 Some people are just mad.

FamBae · 30/06/2025 08:27

I was going to say don't take in any more parcels, but on reflection I think you should and when she comes to collect it (do not take it round) firmly tell her what a massive inconvenience it is having to store and give her parcel back and that she needs to sort her shit out, do it every time until she gets the message.
Edited to add, thanks for giving me a giggle on a Monday morning 🌻

Wemdubz · 30/06/2025 08:30

I’ve not had a good sleep so I’ve not got the energy to write as much as you did. But in a nutshell, I’m on your side. Long live the football ⚽️

LakieLady · 30/06/2025 08:53

pestowithwalnuts · 30/06/2025 05:11

What does " down the banks ," mean ?

I'm so glad you asked! I've been trying to work out if it was a weird autocorrect or a regional expression I've never heard before.

Sparticle · 30/06/2025 09:07

OP that’s one of the best opening posts I’ve ever read on here, well done. YANBU obviously.

We had a family with footy-playing children moved in next door last summer and a few times they’ve kicked balls over. They knock for them and I don’t think it’s rude at all.

DH though has decided that to save them having to knock (and making them wait if we aren’t in), he wants to give them access via taking out a panel of the bottom fence of our garden so they can just come in and get them if it happens again.

I’m definitely against that one - I mean, who wants to give other people open access to their garden???!

Mindyourfunkybusiness · 30/06/2025 09:11

You are my vibe 😂 as you've said its not often yeah she's a dick and yelling at your kids?!?! Nah you come talk to me not yell at my kids.

I'd get a ring doorbell so you don't have to go mid shave babes, who has time for that. Answer it, ask delivery guy "is it for next door? Sorry mate she's a dickhead not taking her packages" and enjoy your peace. I'm also petty. I try not to be, but I am. I won't openly admit how petty but very.

Yeeting extra balls over requires effort but maybe. I'd potentially toy with packages if I got any - "I don't know, maybe my husband took the package in, I'll ask." Close door. Wait until she comes back "sorry was busy buying more balls for my kids, haven't had chance to speak to dh, I'll ask him later" 😂

IAmNeverThePerson · 30/06/2025 09:13

The lad next door frequently kicks a ball over. I throw it back. Absolute none event. The only time he gets a “watch it Charlie” is if the ball hits me.

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