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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?

263 replies

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:11

Perfectly open to hearing that I’m being unreasonable on this.

For background and context - I live on a new build estate that has 70 odd houses privately owned by a corporate landlord - the estate is marketed as a family estate, and is therefore mainly occupied by families with kids.

We are a family of 4 with 2 kids aged 8 and 9. They’re good kids. And I’m not just saying that cos I’m one of those knobhead mums who thinks her babies can do no wrong, they’re genuinely just sound kids.

Our house is a semi detached house - we’ve been here for 8 years and watched tenants come and go. Never had an issue with anyone, so much so the previous neighbour is now one of my best friends. I’m conscious of noise as new builds are notorious for being able to hear your neighbours do so much as fart, but I don’t hear them and according to my now friend, she never heard us, either.

We are relatively quiet people - we are in bed by 9, don’t drink or have parties, don’t play music loud - we don’t even watch TV really. Fully aware that we sound like boring bastards 😂 we’ve never had a problem with our current neighbours - polite hello when we see them etc. So as not to drip feed, my husband always said he thought they were a bit rude but I didn’t notice it as much - I just think some people are more private than others.

We have lots of green space and a massive field in front of our house - because of this, our kids rarely play in the garden and I don’t let them play football, mainly because these houses are mass produced fucking shoeboxes with a lot of them jammed into one place - if they were to kick the ball and hit the fence it is a noise nuisance for around 12 houses and not just our immediate neighbours. Nobody wants to hear a fence being twatted by a ball all day, whether they’ve got kids or not.

Today, they had a game of catch with their Dad and the ball went over the fence, so they asked could they knock at the neighbours and ask for it back, we said yes. They have done this one other time in the whole of the 18 months that they’ve been here - they were playing basketball and I now no longer allow them to play basketball because I don’t want the ball going over the fence.

The neighbour has given my kids down the banks and said they are making her life inconvenient by kicking the ball over.

It’s literally only happened once before and it was a long time ago - when my previous neighbours from any side of my fence managed to kick a ball over, which happened often, I’d just think nothing of it and just throw it back.

If my kids were doing this often and it was a consistent problem, I’d be the first to side with the neighbour, I’d be mortified that we were causing a problem for someone. My stance at the minute is I think she’s a bit of a rude dickhead.

My husband knocked and asked if she was ok as the kids said they’d been shouted at - she replied with “yes, they kicked the ball over, they always do it” to which my husband said “what? No they don’t, they’re just kids but it’s not a frequent issue either.” Neighbour replied with “so what?” - husband said “what do you mean so what? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you?” To which she huffed and puffed and went back in.

I get that kids frequently kicking a ball over into your garden would be a fucking pain in the arse, but this isn’t what’s happening here. We’ve knocked to see if there wa a genuine issue but got nowhere. She was a rude arsehole. I also think if there was a problem she should have spoke to me or my husband as we are the adults, rather than shout at my 8 and 9 year old who just asked for their ball back.

To be honest, my hormones are getting the better of me right now and I feel like getting all of the flat balls and lashing them over into her garden for her miserable face to stare at and feel inner rage at.

I often take parcels in for them - as I do for other neighbours - not particularly something that bothers me as it’s just neighbourly? Some big bastard fuck off parcels, too - which, in my tiny hall means we have to clamber over them until she gets off her high horse and comes to pick them up. But hey ho, they’re not there forever and I’m only being cunty about it now as she’s rattled my cage because not once have I moaned about that ‘inconvenience’. Not even when I was in the midst of shaving my gorilla legs and had to dive out of the bath soaking wet and looking like a fat tramp with half shaved legs to open the door to the dpd driver for more of her shit.

I’m not one of those parents who thinks that those who don’t have kids should have to put up with other peoples kids, cos truth be told, even though I’ve got kids, most other peoples kids annoy me. But a ball going over the fence really isn’t a big deal, is it?!

And surely, if you don’t want to deal with the potential issues kids bring, don’t move onto an estate marketed at families that is slap bang in the middle of three primary schools.

You know what, I’m still open to replies but after writing that I just think she’s a dick and next time I get a parcel for her I’m either a) gonna jump all over it b) throw it over the fence c) knock fuck out of her front door until she gets her arse out of bed to take delivery of her own shit.

Also can’t believe I’ve just spent so much time writing a post about a ball going over a fence, but here we are. Middle age creeps up fucking fast, I used to take mdma in Ibiza, now look at me.

PS I’m moving soon. Fuck that ho.

OP posts:
MidSumner · 30/06/2025 19:49

LittleMG · 30/06/2025 07:26

My kid has lost so many balls over the fence at school. These people who live next to the school just keep them (or throw them who knows) not maybe all the balls drive them mad. BUT THEY LIVE NEXT TO A SCHOOL what did they think was going to happen when they moved in? YANBU

Maybe they have children/grandchildren who use the back garden like a ball pit😂

yakkity · 30/06/2025 19:51

JDM625 · 29/06/2025 23:38

19 paragraphs which could have been explained in 2 sentences max! Are you ok OP???

I've lost the entire point of your post- something about your children kicking a ball over the fence, twice- ever.

Have you never ranted? That’s weirder

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:51

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:41

Get out of your own bottom dear

I have no idea what that means but I guess you are the sort that often doesn’t make sense

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:57

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:48

Stay classy

She's more classy than you. She's not a snob who's bragging about her wealth. This is mumsnet ffs! Real issues for real people. While you sit in your ivory tower. Why try to degrade someone to make yourself feel better? That's cheap!

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:59

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 19:51

I have no idea what that means but I guess you are the sort that often doesn’t make sense

You don't make sense because you're just being plain nasty to people you've never met and have done sweet FA (fuck all) to you

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 20:00

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:44

It's all written out below 😘

Yeah only just got that far 😂😂

love your neighbour.

NOT

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:01

MidSumner · 30/06/2025 20:00

Yeah only just got that far 😂😂

love your neighbour.

NOT

🤣🤣🤣

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:05

yakkity · 30/06/2025 19:51

Have you never ranted? That’s weirder

Some people come on here just to judge and slap people down. They can't have much else going on in their lives. Tragic. This is supposed to be support network for mums and women alike.

user1476613140 · 30/06/2025 20:08

Katemax82 · 29/06/2025 23:22

Don't take her parcels in anymore

Definitely this. We refused recently with our next door neighbours due to noise nuisance. We are doing them no favours!! F that.

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:09

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 19:57

She's more classy than you. She's not a snob who's bragging about her wealth. This is mumsnet ffs! Real issues for real people. While you sit in your ivory tower. Why try to degrade someone to make yourself feel better? That's cheap!

You seem way too heavily invested in this, I suspect you lead quite a sad lonely life. Have you not got real friends or a family? Or just random strangers on the internet?

XelaM · 30/06/2025 20:11

Love your style OP 😂

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:12

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:09

You seem way too heavily invested in this, I suspect you lead quite a sad lonely life. Have you not got real friends or a family? Or just random strangers on the internet?

Isn't that what I implied to you? Be original if you have to talk to me. Me Lady 🙏

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:14

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:12

Isn't that what I implied to you? Be original if you have to talk to me. Me Lady 🙏

Another low class one I see

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:16

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 18:10

Just catching up. A bit of friendly advice to all parents with kids, don't let them go fetch a ball themselves! Let alone finding someone sunbathing naked which would be more of a shock to the kid, not necessarily about saving your neighbours dignity, there might be a dog that will attack them. Some people let their dogs stay out in the garden or freely come in and out even when they're not home! Like my selfish entitled, narcissistic bitch new neighbour next door who couldn't give one iota about kids, other dogs, cats or people! She thinks as long as it's on her property, then tough shit! She's happy to take the risk with her aggressive, noisy, unsocialised Romanian street dog she adopted! Please don't anybody ask me to talk to her because I have and she fucking gaslight me at first making me think that she's happy do what she can to minimise the risk but once I got the ball rolling on things that we agreed on, she done a complete U turn. We had to put a catflap in our 100 year old original Victorian panelled door so our cat didn't need to cross her garden to get to the front! Why do new neighbour power trip when everyone else was there before them? Instead of trying to get on? Not just my cat who incidently is a young rescue cat who I've had for two years before she moved in, but all the neighbours cats are in danger too! One was stuck on a fence for an hour and half while her dog was growling and barking at it. Poor creature was absolutely petrified. There's much more to this story but I've attached a photo of the poor cat perched on the wall. Just to add, the bitch (nrighbour not dog) wasn't home! The dog is out all hours any day or night. I can hear the bastard now! Although I am an animal lover so it's not his fault. It's the owner I despise with a passion. I have to stay away from her because one false move and I know I'm going to explode! Any arsey replies will be dealt with accordingly. Don't need anymore toxic, condescending pricks to deal with. If you can be compassionate of the situation....just zip it!

Yup chav. Feel sorry for the cat

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:17

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:14

Another low class one I see

Class might buy you friends but you don't need money to make friends when you have character. Hope you never lose your wealth because they'll eat you alive sleeping rough 🙏

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:19

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:16

Yup chav. Feel sorry for the cat

So funny. You thought that was my cat! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 20:20

@OneCosyCrowlet’s throw a made up scenario out there, for shits and giggles.

Let’s say she, or anyone on this thread, doesn’t have a life, nor any friends in real life or a family. And they come onto mumsnet to feel a connection to people, in a way that makes them feel a little bit less lonely.

Then people come on here, like you, being nasty and trying to ridicule people for potentially being lonely. Who’s the sadder person in this scenario? The one who’s just coming on to read forums and speak to people, or the nasty one who throws in jibes? Who’s the one who’s existence is so hollow that they have to throw in jibes about money, on a thread that has fuck all to do with income.

And aside from that made up scenario, maybe she’s just a normal human being who uses mumsnet because it’s sometimes funny, engaging, and just something to do to pass the time sometimes that doesn’t consist of mindlessly scrolling on the likes of tiktok.

I just know you’re the kind of human who would stick a knife in a ball if it came over your fence, would sneer at the kids on Halloween and would count every last penny like Ebenezer.

This isn’t a place for you, but it is for that lovely lady who has been joining in on this thread since it started and is clearly a nice human.

Go away you little boff.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:21

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 20:20

@OneCosyCrowlet’s throw a made up scenario out there, for shits and giggles.

Let’s say she, or anyone on this thread, doesn’t have a life, nor any friends in real life or a family. And they come onto mumsnet to feel a connection to people, in a way that makes them feel a little bit less lonely.

Then people come on here, like you, being nasty and trying to ridicule people for potentially being lonely. Who’s the sadder person in this scenario? The one who’s just coming on to read forums and speak to people, or the nasty one who throws in jibes? Who’s the one who’s existence is so hollow that they have to throw in jibes about money, on a thread that has fuck all to do with income.

And aside from that made up scenario, maybe she’s just a normal human being who uses mumsnet because it’s sometimes funny, engaging, and just something to do to pass the time sometimes that doesn’t consist of mindlessly scrolling on the likes of tiktok.

I just know you’re the kind of human who would stick a knife in a ball if it came over your fence, would sneer at the kids on Halloween and would count every last penny like Ebenezer.

This isn’t a place for you, but it is for that lovely lady who has been joining in on this thread since it started and is clearly a nice human.

Go away you little boff.

Don't waste your energy. She can't read properly

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:26

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:17

Class might buy you friends but you don't need money to make friends when you have character. Hope you never lose your wealth because they'll eat you alive sleeping rough 🙏

Yes I’m sure character is calling your neighbour a fucking bitch. Swearing is so vulgar on a woman

HarkerandBarker · 30/06/2025 20:27

Anyone fancy a Mcdonalds? It's on me! 🤣🤣🤣

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 20:27

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:26

Yes I’m sure character is calling your neighbour a fucking bitch. Swearing is so vulgar on a woman

Get to fucking fuck. And when you get there, fuck off even further. Why are you wasting your time on a thread that you clearly have disdain for?! Are you that sad and lonely?

OP posts:
OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:32

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 20:20

@OneCosyCrowlet’s throw a made up scenario out there, for shits and giggles.

Let’s say she, or anyone on this thread, doesn’t have a life, nor any friends in real life or a family. And they come onto mumsnet to feel a connection to people, in a way that makes them feel a little bit less lonely.

Then people come on here, like you, being nasty and trying to ridicule people for potentially being lonely. Who’s the sadder person in this scenario? The one who’s just coming on to read forums and speak to people, or the nasty one who throws in jibes? Who’s the one who’s existence is so hollow that they have to throw in jibes about money, on a thread that has fuck all to do with income.

And aside from that made up scenario, maybe she’s just a normal human being who uses mumsnet because it’s sometimes funny, engaging, and just something to do to pass the time sometimes that doesn’t consist of mindlessly scrolling on the likes of tiktok.

I just know you’re the kind of human who would stick a knife in a ball if it came over your fence, would sneer at the kids on Halloween and would count every last penny like Ebenezer.

This isn’t a place for you, but it is for that lovely lady who has been joining in on this thread since it started and is clearly a nice human.

Go away you little boff.

I admire your ability to keep talking with so little to say 🥱

OneCosyCrow · 30/06/2025 20:33

Amybelle88 · 30/06/2025 20:27

Get to fucking fuck. And when you get there, fuck off even further. Why are you wasting your time on a thread that you clearly have disdain for?! Are you that sad and lonely?

Clearly my judgement wasn’t wrong.

Justhere65 · 30/06/2025 20:37

I’m sure your neighbours are happy that you are moving. Your attitude is worrying.

Maray1967 · 30/06/2025 20:38

Katemax82 · 29/06/2025 23:22

Don't take her parcels in anymore

This!! You can’t shout at neighbours kids and expect them to take your parcels in!

Just don’t take them in. If she asks, tell her. I don’t go favours for people who shout at my Dc.