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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbours for this?

263 replies

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:11

Perfectly open to hearing that I’m being unreasonable on this.

For background and context - I live on a new build estate that has 70 odd houses privately owned by a corporate landlord - the estate is marketed as a family estate, and is therefore mainly occupied by families with kids.

We are a family of 4 with 2 kids aged 8 and 9. They’re good kids. And I’m not just saying that cos I’m one of those knobhead mums who thinks her babies can do no wrong, they’re genuinely just sound kids.

Our house is a semi detached house - we’ve been here for 8 years and watched tenants come and go. Never had an issue with anyone, so much so the previous neighbour is now one of my best friends. I’m conscious of noise as new builds are notorious for being able to hear your neighbours do so much as fart, but I don’t hear them and according to my now friend, she never heard us, either.

We are relatively quiet people - we are in bed by 9, don’t drink or have parties, don’t play music loud - we don’t even watch TV really. Fully aware that we sound like boring bastards 😂 we’ve never had a problem with our current neighbours - polite hello when we see them etc. So as not to drip feed, my husband always said he thought they were a bit rude but I didn’t notice it as much - I just think some people are more private than others.

We have lots of green space and a massive field in front of our house - because of this, our kids rarely play in the garden and I don’t let them play football, mainly because these houses are mass produced fucking shoeboxes with a lot of them jammed into one place - if they were to kick the ball and hit the fence it is a noise nuisance for around 12 houses and not just our immediate neighbours. Nobody wants to hear a fence being twatted by a ball all day, whether they’ve got kids or not.

Today, they had a game of catch with their Dad and the ball went over the fence, so they asked could they knock at the neighbours and ask for it back, we said yes. They have done this one other time in the whole of the 18 months that they’ve been here - they were playing basketball and I now no longer allow them to play basketball because I don’t want the ball going over the fence.

The neighbour has given my kids down the banks and said they are making her life inconvenient by kicking the ball over.

It’s literally only happened once before and it was a long time ago - when my previous neighbours from any side of my fence managed to kick a ball over, which happened often, I’d just think nothing of it and just throw it back.

If my kids were doing this often and it was a consistent problem, I’d be the first to side with the neighbour, I’d be mortified that we were causing a problem for someone. My stance at the minute is I think she’s a bit of a rude dickhead.

My husband knocked and asked if she was ok as the kids said they’d been shouted at - she replied with “yes, they kicked the ball over, they always do it” to which my husband said “what? No they don’t, they’re just kids but it’s not a frequent issue either.” Neighbour replied with “so what?” - husband said “what do you mean so what? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you?” To which she huffed and puffed and went back in.

I get that kids frequently kicking a ball over into your garden would be a fucking pain in the arse, but this isn’t what’s happening here. We’ve knocked to see if there wa a genuine issue but got nowhere. She was a rude arsehole. I also think if there was a problem she should have spoke to me or my husband as we are the adults, rather than shout at my 8 and 9 year old who just asked for their ball back.

To be honest, my hormones are getting the better of me right now and I feel like getting all of the flat balls and lashing them over into her garden for her miserable face to stare at and feel inner rage at.

I often take parcels in for them - as I do for other neighbours - not particularly something that bothers me as it’s just neighbourly? Some big bastard fuck off parcels, too - which, in my tiny hall means we have to clamber over them until she gets off her high horse and comes to pick them up. But hey ho, they’re not there forever and I’m only being cunty about it now as she’s rattled my cage because not once have I moaned about that ‘inconvenience’. Not even when I was in the midst of shaving my gorilla legs and had to dive out of the bath soaking wet and looking like a fat tramp with half shaved legs to open the door to the dpd driver for more of her shit.

I’m not one of those parents who thinks that those who don’t have kids should have to put up with other peoples kids, cos truth be told, even though I’ve got kids, most other peoples kids annoy me. But a ball going over the fence really isn’t a big deal, is it?!

And surely, if you don’t want to deal with the potential issues kids bring, don’t move onto an estate marketed at families that is slap bang in the middle of three primary schools.

You know what, I’m still open to replies but after writing that I just think she’s a dick and next time I get a parcel for her I’m either a) gonna jump all over it b) throw it over the fence c) knock fuck out of her front door until she gets her arse out of bed to take delivery of her own shit.

Also can’t believe I’ve just spent so much time writing a post about a ball going over a fence, but here we are. Middle age creeps up fucking fast, I used to take mdma in Ibiza, now look at me.

PS I’m moving soon. Fuck that ho.

OP posts:
TheDandyLion · 29/06/2025 23:16

Tl:Dr . Kids knocked a ball over the fence, neighbour got arsey but it doesn't matter cos OP is moving anyway.

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:18

TheDandyLion · 29/06/2025 23:16

Tl:Dr . Kids knocked a ball over the fence, neighbour got arsey but it doesn't matter cos OP is moving anyway.

You missed the good bits out, like me shaving my legs.

OP posts:
Katemax82 · 29/06/2025 23:22

Don't take her parcels in anymore

ScratCat · 29/06/2025 23:22

Christ, was it necessary to wang on so much?

I didn’t even make it to the end, so I don’t know if you’re being unreasonable or not.

Vaxtable · 29/06/2025 23:23

Just refuse to take in her parcels

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:23

Wow that really built!

You shouldn't have let the kids knock. The ball going over is fine and part of normal neighbour interactions, but you wait until they're ready to throw it back, you don't go and knock for it.

She sounds unnecessarily rude, but you sound completely unhinged in the latter part of your post so I'm not sure you're a reliable narrator! You were so reasonable for the first two thirds and then it went mad.

ShamrockShenanigans · 29/06/2025 23:23

Fuck an actual duck.

I got to 'parcels' and lost the will 🤣🤣

Assuming nothing of note happened after the word 'parcel', I'm going to say YANBU.

She sounds like a miserable cow.

sesquipedalian · 29/06/2025 23:25

OP, you’re not being unreasonable, and I know why you feel aggrieved. When my neighbour’s kids were younger, we regularly used to get their balls over the fence - I would just lob them back. If ever they came to the door, asking for their balls, I’d certainly go out and get them. Your neighbour is being downright hostile - just as well you’re moving away.

Gunz · 29/06/2025 23:27

This is my sage advice - I am somewhat older than you - I keep neighbours at a distance, kept to the pleasantries but keep a distance.

IReallyLoveItHere · 29/06/2025 23:29

Maybe kids are living balls over everyday and she's had enough? Sounds like there are plenty of kids and it's a place they'd play.

I can understand her being arsey and I wouldn't let my kids ring BUT she's wrong to shout at them.

Anyway, now you know. You'd only have lost 2 balls in 18 months so it's no big deal.

TooOldforThisSh1t3 · 29/06/2025 23:29

You are 100% my kind of people 😂

And no, YANBU. Maybe the heat has got to her today and she’s having a bad day, but a -once in 18 months - ball going in her garden, on a family estate is not a problem imo

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 29/06/2025 23:30

Well I read it all OP and had a wee giggle at your gorilla legs 😂

My advice? Continue to take parcels for her but drop kick them right over her fence. It saves you storing them and her coming to get them. Win win 🏆 🙌

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:32

Girls I feel the ones who are saying it went on a bit - I can’t quite believe that I’m at a point in my life where I’m posting on forums about neighbours and balls going over the fence, but here we are.

I suppose it’s not a bad thing that these are my main issues in life atm.

For those saying I was reasonable then went off kilter, the reality probably hit home that I’ve just wrote a novel about my kids kicking a ball over a fence 🤦🏻‍♀️🥴

OP posts:
Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:33

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 29/06/2025 23:30

Well I read it all OP and had a wee giggle at your gorilla legs 😂

My advice? Continue to take parcels for her but drop kick them right over her fence. It saves you storing them and her coming to get them. Win win 🏆 🙌

I like you.

I’m drop kicking 😂😂😂

OP posts:
AMurderofMurderingCrows · 29/06/2025 23:36

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:33

I like you.

I’m drop kicking 😂😂😂

Woohoo

📦 🦵

Pennyforyourthoughtsplease · 29/06/2025 23:36

TheDandyLion · 29/06/2025 23:16

Tl:Dr . Kids knocked a ball over the fence, neighbour got arsey but it doesn't matter cos OP is moving anyway.

🤣
Sorry OP, you lost me when your DH replied "they're just kids" ... 🤔 I'd never in a million years say that.

JDM625 · 29/06/2025 23:38

19 paragraphs which could have been explained in 2 sentences max! Are you ok OP???

I've lost the entire point of your post- something about your children kicking a ball over the fence, twice- ever.

LemonLimeOrangeKiwi · 29/06/2025 23:39

You lost my sympathy at “fuck that ho” 🙄

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:40

What industrial tools are you using on your gorilla legs OP? I need some recommendations.

Also, whoever suggested drop kicking their parcels over the fence I’d like to be friends with.

anxietytty · 29/06/2025 23:40

NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:23

Wow that really built!

You shouldn't have let the kids knock. The ball going over is fine and part of normal neighbour interactions, but you wait until they're ready to throw it back, you don't go and knock for it.

She sounds unnecessarily rude, but you sound completely unhinged in the latter part of your post so I'm not sure you're a reliable narrator! You were so reasonable for the first two thirds and then it went mad.

What’s wrong with letting the kids knock??? That’s normal!

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:41

LemonLimeOrangeKiwi · 29/06/2025 23:39

You lost my sympathy at “fuck that ho” 🙄

Edited

Least you made it to the end x

OP posts:
Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:43

IchiNiSanShiGo · 29/06/2025 23:40

What industrial tools are you using on your gorilla legs OP? I need some recommendations.

Also, whoever suggested drop kicking their parcels over the fence I’d like to be friends with.

Lecky shaver first to take the bulk off then a Wilkinson intuition. Smooth legs for days.

Gutted I don’t get knocks with parcels for the neighbours when I’m hair free and care free.

I like the drop kick lady, too. 😂😂

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 29/06/2025 23:43

anxietytty · 29/06/2025 23:40

What’s wrong with letting the kids knock??? That’s normal!

It's not normal. It's rude. You don't interrupt someone else's peace because you've lost a ball, you wait for it to come back.

Amybelle88 · 29/06/2025 23:45

JDM625 · 29/06/2025 23:38

19 paragraphs which could have been explained in 2 sentences max! Are you ok OP???

I've lost the entire point of your post- something about your children kicking a ball over the fence, twice- ever.

No, JDM625, I’m on the edge mate.

I’m writing 19 paragraphs about my kids kicking a ball over a fence. I haven’t even missed any of my meds, either.

OP posts:
friendlycat · 29/06/2025 23:46

I’ve never read a thread before that involved balls going over the next door neighbour’s fence and shaving legs 🦵! That’s quite diametrically different.

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