Nagging

[Gowlett]

Honestly, I’m just going to make a list of the top five.
Stick it on the fridge door, and never mention it again.

It’s been the same few things for absolute years…
Don’t want them done MY way, just THE way, please!

Changed bed sheets, DH was sleeping without a top.
Went in, there he is on the new sheets sweating away.

Just wear a fucking t-shirt! That’s all I’m asking for.
I don’t want to bring it up. Every. Bloody. Time. I don’t.

AIBU to be sick of “nagging”? I’m the problem, of course!
Say nothing, and I’ll be told the house is dirty etc…

A whiny nag at that.

If you’re that arsed change it yourself 😂

Interesting! The sheets must not be a thing in other households. Yes, it could be any number of the same requests (complaints, nagging) over & over. Why not just get with the programme DH, and not keep doing / not doing the bloody annoying thing? I’m not perfect, but at least I try! I do actually sleep separately a lot of the time as the room gets so smelly… Especially in summer!

MN is funny. I should be more cool girl about it all I suppose!

Way to hot to be sleeping in a t-shirt, this isnt nagging this is controlling.

His choice is to sleep without a t shirt. Totally reasonable.

You don't like him doing that because you have a thing about sweaty sheets. Also totally reasonable.

I find sleeping in my own bed is delicious. DH has to change and wash his own sheets and can be as sweaty and as manky in them as he likes.

So what are the other examples of things he needs to “get with the programme” about ?

If that’s your attitude I’d be telling you to shove your programme up your arse.

and I’ll be told the house is dirty etc…

So tell him to clean it, and that he's not to whine about it to you.

Just a turn of phrase. No programme…
No attitude, just expectations obviously!

MN is funny. I should be more cool girl about it all I suppose!

Nah, just less of a control freak.

Don’t want them done MY way, just THE way, please!

But do you think 'the' way is always your way?
Or are their some things for which you have accepted that DH's way is 'the' correct and better way?
Have you actually discussed the differences in his way versus your way for all the relevant household chores and agreed which is best? and/or accepted that either way is fine as it just doesn't matter?

It would be unreasonable to assume that your way is always best.

I'm surprised by the people who sleep naked. No way could I be bothered to launder my sheets and duvet covers every day.

But, if he is going to sweat on the clean sheets, he is also going to sweat on, and through, the T shirt?
DP sweats through his head, his pillow is yellow a few days after I change the bedding.
It's annoying, but not his fault.

Every day? 😅 how gross do you think a human body is, Jesus wept. Unless you’ve been working down the mines, your sheets are fine to sleep naked on and wash a normal amount of times.

But it’s his bed too, and his sheets too! You’re acting like it’s your home and you get to dictate how everyone lives.

Yes it’s hot and he might sweat. So might you. You might have to wash the sheets more often. I’m sure most people do in the summer.

Honestly it sounds as though you just find your husband’s body a bit repulsive.

I’d spent the boiling hot day doing housework. I’d aired the beds/ bedroom. I’d literally just put the new sheets on. Then he went into the bedroom to read & smeared his sweating self all over them. It was irksome enough to start a thread… To me anyway!

“Smeared his sweating self all over them”?

See my previous. It does sound as if you find your husband gross. That is sad.

Just felt like disregard for my hard work. More than anything.
He couldn’t be arsed to find a t-shirt. But, I could be wrong…

Can you explain why you think a T-shirt would make a difference? If he's already sweating it'll just soak through the t-shirt and get onto the sheets.

I really need to know the other 4 before I can judge

It’s not about being a “cool girl”. If a woman posted on here about her husband telling her to wear more clothes in bed, no one would tell her to go along with what her husband wants. They’d call him controlling, just like they’re saying to you.

MN is generally the opposite of “be a cool girl”. It’s harder find threads where people support the husband’s point of view.

maybe trying to tell someone else what to wear isn’t a good idea. But he is definitely unreasonable if he later nags you that the house is dirty if he’s been the one to unnecessarily make it dirty! Lying sweaty on a bed someone else has just made is disrespectful, especially if it’s one they use too. A quick shower first might be the best solution.

Is anyone NOT sleeping naked this week? We had our six year old grand-niece staying overnight at the weekend, and even she went to bed naked after her shower. She arrived with a cotton sleep-shirt for appearances sake, but very soon told us that that was all her Mum's idea, and that nobody ever wore nightclothes at home.