Nagging

[Gowlett]

Honestly, I’m just going to make a list of the top five.
Stick it on the fridge door, and never mention it again.

It’s been the same few things for absolute years…
Don’t want them done MY way, just THE way, please!

Changed bed sheets, DH was sleeping without a top.
Went in, there he is on the new sheets sweating away.

Just wear a fucking t-shirt! That’s all I’m asking for.
I don’t want to bring it up. Every. Bloody. Time. I don’t.

AIBU to be sick of “nagging”? I’m the problem, of course!
Say nothing, and I’ll be told the house is dirty etc…

I see this has just slipped under the radar:

Say nothing, and I’ll be told the house is dirty etc…

Pound to a penny she's doing all the washing while sweaty arse does fuck all. And people are telling her she's just a nag.

Imagine if he told you what to wear . . .

Yeah, controlling and bullying come to mind.

Well, just sleep on your side, and get him to wash the sheets every other day or so?

No. It's his home.

People are telling her she has no right to force him to wear clothing to bed during a heatwave.

If she chooses to do all the laundry and live with a lazy man, that's her choice.

But it still doesn't give her the right to try and control what anyone does/doesn't wear in bed.

Not just nagging but very strange.
Why worry about something so insignificant.
Chill out. (Literally).

What difference does a t shirt make? If anything it’ll make him hotter and sweat more ?

It's been roasting the last few days. DH and I have been sleeping in nothing but pants.

Dictating what someone can or cannot wear whilst sleeping is beyond nagging, it's controlling.

If anyone came in my bedroom when I was lying on my clean sheets and told me to put some clothes on, it wouldn't go well.

Sounds like seperate bedrooms might work.

I also think separate bedrooms might be the answer, or at least separate beds. Each person then responsible for their own.

Your way or no way you are nagging and controlling.
Im in a boob tube and pants to day.
For the past week ive slept naked only pants on.

It’s not beyond the realms of MN possibility that she added that bit in the hope she would be flooded with sisterhood endorsements for her nagging, It clearly didn’t work.

I think it's a bit controlling to tell him what to wear in bed, surely he's on his own side anyway? How would you feel if he told you what to wear for bed? We have fans in the bedroom and we just set a timer so they turn off after we are asleep. I wouldn't even think about telling my DP what to wear in bed

How can sweating be avoided in this weather? Wearing a t shirt at night in this heat sounds like my idea of hell.

I cannot fathom how it's in any way reasonable to dictate what your partner wears or doesn't wear to sleep, irrespective of sex or whose job it is to wash the sheets.

I understand that it is frustrating when your partner takes the easy option, half jobs, bringing a mug to the sink, not rinsing, but the bed sweat issue is ridiculous. If he is sweating too much, wash the sheets more often, give him a separate over bed sheet/blanket.

I am not convinced the hair makes much difference unless it is thick like the coat of a dog.

Rule of thumb OP, if you have a wider, serious problem never mention a small example, the thread becomes only about that vvv specific thing.

Does he accuse you of nagging a lot, in an unfair way? Then I'd name change and start a new thread, ideally in Relationships (though it's often no kinder than AIBU these days)

But him wearing a t-shirt in bed isn't going to stop sweat getting on the sheets. If anything it will make him sweat more.

I wouldn't put up with someone telling me what I can and can't wear in my own bed!

It's also hers.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that he's inconsiderate and she's constantly picking up after him. Everyone on here knows how it goes. If he's sweating all over shared sheets he should be washing them. If he's not doing that, he's the one on the wrong, not her.

You’re right, most people on here do know how it goes and thats why the majority sensibly voted that she’s being unreasonable. A nag.

I was all ready to come and support you, ‘nagging’ is usually used by misogynists who don’t pull their weight.

but your example? It is bang out of order to tell an adult what to wear!

if you don’t want to sleep in the same bed as him, don’t, make a plan.

however, if this is one tiny thing and you could have given 100 different examples that would have got us saying ltb, then by all means, start again with a different example!

If he's not washing his own sweaty sheets then she is not being a nag :)