When parents say their child is their best friend

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Is this not weird. Perhaps when you are both adults but why is your best friend a 2 year old?

I have that but never use the best friend term

Very odd, because it means they run the risk of not actually parenting their child. Parents and children aren't supposed to be friends - it's a completely different relationship.

It’s just something some people say. It really doesn’t bother me.

I don’t use the best friend term either, but others do. My mum uses it about me and there is nothing negative about it. It just means we get along really well and enjoy chatting.

I agree.
My 13 year old once said to me (quite sadly) that she'd heard that parents shouldn't be their child's friend and what were we doing wrong. I explained as above, that I don't parent my friends. My children and I are friendly and have fun together but my role is to protect and nurture them. I nurture my friends when I can but I'm not invested in whether they eat vegetables.
We are not equals. Not at 3, not at 13, hopefully at 23, although I didn't spend much time with my mum at 23!

I agree with this. It's just weird referring to your child/ teen as your best friend anyway, a bit sad.

I love my DTs and I enjoy their company more than that of anyone else, but I'd never describe them as my 'best friends'.
But, I don't think it's weird; it's just not the phraseology I'd use.

Well exactly! 🤣

I would say my child is my soul mate. I know it’s often used in a romantic way but where I come from it can be equally used platonically. I always thought it was a weird phrase but now I get it. He really is so much like a piece of me in every way. We just get each other. I have never felt so connected or in sync with another human being in this way.

I do not repeat this because I know for a fact people would look at me like I’m insane.

But on that note… back to the point that I can’t get worked up about calling your kid your best friend.

I have a nice easy relationship with my son. I always have. He's now 26 and we talk frequently and go out together to gigs, the pub, the theatre etc.

We spend hours talking and debating stuff and laugh about absolutely nothing.

He's still not my best friend and neither am I his.

My 4yr old is my best friend. She’s funny, sweet, interesting and non judgemental. Much nicer company than most people my age!

I think you can have a fantastic relationship with your child but you need to never forget you are their parent.
Not their best friend.
It can be a wonderful relationship but you must first and foremost be a parent.

Oh my word there’s some serious overthinking going on in this thread - we really don’t need to pathologise every single aspect of our interaction with children this much.

I call my almost 5 year old my best friend sometimes - I mean not to my actual best friend or the world at large but I’ve said it to her occasionally. I know full well I’m her parent, she has boundaries and I do the hard stuff too. She also has plenty of friends, including one close friend she calls her best friend and has since she was about 2. It’s just shorthand for ‘I know I’m your mum and I have to be here and most of the time I’m making you brush your teeth or eat your broccoli but also, I really like you, I think you’re a cool little person and I have fun when we’re together too’.

I often used to say my mum was my best friend too - she was very much my mum though.

I seriously think some people are looking too deeply in to this. It’s not that deep!

Yeah this is why l would never call my daughter my best friend. She's my child and my best friend is my best friend, sometimes she doesn't like me because l say the word no and put rules down. Maybe when she's much older we'll be friends but that is years away.

There's a time to be your offspring's friend and that is when they are grown. Until then, parent them properly - rules, boundaries and guidance. That doesn't mean you don't love and care for them, that you can't show empathy. Equip them properly for real life or you are doing them a disservice.

Yes it's weird. Especially if they're a teen. I always assume it's because they have no other friends 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think they mean it is the person they have the most fun with and feel happiest with.

As I said, it is just something people say to describe a perfectly normal nice relationship. You don’t and I don’t but I know lots of people do.

You’d be surprised…….

what age does it become weird? My mum, who would have said she was my best friend told me aged about six that she’d kill herself if it wasn’t for me. That’s a very loyal friend!

You must struggle though to talk about the news, politics, literature with her?

I use it as a term, just to try and describe the closeness and joy I feel with my only female child. Obviously she isn’t my best friend, but she’s top of whatever list I have.

My DDs are friends maybe my best friends? (Although I’m not theirs). But they are 23 and 25 we get on brilliantly

My FIL used to say my DH was more like a brother or a friend than a son. His behaviour indicated this thought seemed to absolve him of any sort of parental role of responsibility and the right to butt into every aspect of DH’s social life and hobbies like some sort of parasite.