To refuse even to consider applying for a place in the local faith school for DS

[madamez]

Yes, some of his friends from playgroup and nursery are going to go there. Yes, it's within walking distance of where we live. Yes, apparently it's a nice school with an inclusive admissions policy and a good reputation.
But it's a faith school and I do not approve of faith schools and I don't want DS to be force-fed crap or to feel separate from other children on the grounds of other people's superstitious bullshit. There are plenty of other schools, so why are people saying I should send him to this one?

I wouldn't do it personally. Just mentioned it as a point of information.

I don't think it's much done tbh; I've only known of one child that was withdrawn and not because her parents were atheists. They were members of a Christian-based religious group.

I hardly ever think yabu, madamez. Even when I disagree 100%, I know that you've reasoned your views out.

I think you should educate your DS however you see fit, and if that doesn't include sending him to a faith school, or withdrawing him from an assembly, then more power to you. Whatever he chooses to do when he grows up, I should think he'd respect your integrity on the matter.

It isn't done much-they would be odd. I can only remember twins who were Jehovah's Witnesses. If five assemblies a week converted DCs to Christianity vicars would be pleased! I think it generally has the opposite effect!

Oh well then - he will either have to sit in the classroom on his own or stay and be polluted by the 'superstitious crap' then!!

You never know it might actually broaden his horizons a bit so that at least he knows what it is his mum despises so vehemently.

I suppose it's worth remembering that when you're withdrawn from assembly, you all go into one room together with the other kids who are withdrawn - so you're more likely to have your kids in a closed environment with serious religious believers of some stripe by withdrawing them than by keeping them in the assembly

That's interesting snorkle....

A thought that hadn't occurred to me KayHarker but very true!! Out of the frying pan into the fire!!

My DD didn't get into the only local nondenominational school, as a result she now has to attend the local CofE, we were seriously thinking of appealing but I highly doubt it would make a blind bit of difference.

It's a shame, DH and I felt really strongly that she should not go to a church school, I am atheist and DH is a lapsed Catholic. Seems like withdrawing from assembly and RE is the only way to go, I would rather teach her about all religions without a heavy weighting towards christianity than have her force fed crap at school.

I feel your pain, lol!

Why withdraw her-just have interesting conversations over the dinner table. I do dislike people telling their children what they have to believe-they have minds of their own.

"Forcefed crap" - I think the approach to RE has changed since you or I were at school. It is now "Christians believe that .." rather than "the truth is ...".

In fairness, it would be a shame to withdraw from RE lessons, because the curriculum is not dogmatic at all - it gives an overview of a number of religions and explains how they have influenced history and society.

Assembly might be a different kettle of fish in a denominational school though - they would be expected to lean towards the teachings of whichever church was funding them.

Well, I can totally understand the withdrawing (I would, wouldn't I? ) given that the whole thing is a little bit more complicated than just 'some people believe'. You send your children to school with an understanding that whoever teaches them is in a position of authority to do so.

It's somewhat counterproductive to have to undermine that authority on this issue, and I can see how it would just be easier to withdraw them completely from it.

But then, I don't really with the assembly having that religious bias towards Christianity anyway.

But I do take your point AbbeyA, that it's not an insurmountable problem, and could lead to interesting conversations.

I just hate what I call 'the thought police', it is the attitude 'I am an atheist so my DC must be protected from any talk of God.' I used to have fascinating conversations as a DC with my parents about all manner of things and I was free to think what I liked. To say 'this is crap' with no reasons given is a very closed statement. I was a placid child but being told what to believe, or kept out of lessons, would have made them seem much more exciting. DCs are far more likely to take their opinions from you anyway.

Madamez,of course YANBU and your children are lucky not to be sent to a faith school. Forget other people's comments!

yanbu, as the mother of a child at a faith school i am more then happy for people of no faith to stay away as it makes getting a place so much easier for those of us that do

I watched Child of our Time in the week and it said that parents didn't talk to their children much apart from day to day necessities.This gives the opportunity to sit round the dinner table and have philosophical discussions, much better than reducing it to 'religion is crap because I say so' and take away all other opinion by removing them from assembly and lessons.IMO

God, it didn't occur to me to even consider a faith school. But, as an ex-Catholic, I possibly should to have ensured less likelihood of wavering in the god direction.

Madamez. Your son will soon make new friends. And you will soon make new friends with the mums in the new school to arrange playdates with, go on coffee mornings with, and after school activities, co-ordinate half term activities together with, etc.
Go with the school you feel comfortable with. If you dont believe in the ethos of the school and this is important to you, then dont.

You might end up as my dh. He was the Catholic that insisted on a Catholic baptism for our kids, he is now the lapsed catholic that has turned against the church and started "working against" what our son learnt in school, and trying to insist that Jesus is not in his heart The Force is, and introducing our son to the philosophy of Star Wars as a counter balance.

Yeah, but AbbeyA, it's the parent's choice as to when and how that sort of thing is introduced.

I agree that, if you send your children to a faith school, or if you let them join in with religious activities, you shouldn't just complain about it, you should engage with the conversation.

However, if you decide that's not the way you want to proceed, I think it's a sensible choice not to be in that situation in the first place.

I always felt the odd one out during Harvest Festival and other religious events when everybody else would take Communion, but me, as I am not a convereted Catholic.

Madamez, what if your children 'find religion' as adults? Will you respect that?

I don't think OP should send to a faith school if she is against because she will get a lot of religion.
My point is that she has to understand that she will still get assemblies (at least 51% Christian over the year)and RE lessons in any state school-it is the law (but you can withdraw DC). Madamez has been on this sort of thread before and I have cut and pasted the law on RE in state schools for her and explained that to get rid of it she needs to join the society for a secular Britain.

There is a difference between finding religion as an adult and learning religion as a child, IMO, AF. One person is making a decision about their life, the other is following what they have been taught is right.

I would rather they were free as DCs. I have taken all 3 of mine to church-all 3 have decided not to go.I respect that.

To say I don't believe is fine, to call any religion 'crap' and 'superstitious bullshit' is intolerant to other cultures and very bigotted.