To refuse even to consider applying for a place in the local faith school for DS

[madamez]

Yes, some of his friends from playgroup and nursery are going to go there. Yes, it's within walking distance of where we live. Yes, apparently it's a nice school with an inclusive admissions policy and a good reputation.
But it's a faith school and I do not approve of faith schools and I don't want DS to be force-fed crap or to feel separate from other children on the grounds of other people's superstitious bullshit. There are plenty of other schools, so why are people saying I should send him to this one?

Presumably all you atheists went to schools that taught RE and yet have grown up not believing? I can't understand why this hysterical topic comes up so regularly. If you don't want him to go to a Cof E school don't send him.

Personally I didn't want my kids being taught other religions at school, but we get no choice in that

Not unreasonable at all, it's entirely reasonable to stand by your principles.

I'm not though ... DD is going to a CofE school in September although DH and I are both atheists. It's three minutes away, and admits on default criteria only (SEN, looked after children, siblings, proximity) - no faith requirement, so no going to church. The situation around here (four schools within a mile radius, all very good, all massively over-subscribed) pretty much means if we didn't send DD to the CofE school we'd either have to send her to school on the other side of town, or go private. Neither is an option.

I'm not expecting (and I may well be proved wrong) that the school won't expose DD to any more religious propaganda than my non-faith primary school did in the 70s and 80s..

Message withdrawn

You don't need to apply for any school that you don't want to.

YANBU

Send your kid to whichever school suits him best - something only his parents can decide. If a faith school isn't for him for reasons of superstitious crap then it ain't for him.

I sense this AIBU is more about letting off steam about your mother. Visit the school with ds dressed in black looking very gothy and ask the following questions:

Where do you do the goat sacrifices?
When will my son be proficient in Voodoo?
Does the school provide blood and guts at breaktime, or do they bring their own in?
In their SATs, are they tested on evoking visigoths?

You may then not be offered a place. Your mother will have to find something else to complain about concern herself over. Or just tell her she's had her turn at beign a parent, she is now a grandparent and should make it her business to babysit and provide sweets and spoil your child, not try to influence your choices regarding his education.

I have a similar issue. Most of the schools in my area are C of E. Bar the decent infant school that DS will go to, any other non religious schools are not great. When I mention this to people they just brush off the religion thing, but the thing is, most of them are religious. I live in a VERY white, middle class, Christian town. There is zero multiculturalism here. *sigh

YANBU. I was very relieved when ds got a place at our first-choice, non-denominational school rather than the nearest CofE one. Not because I object to CofE schools, but because that particular one is very hot on church attendance so all the parents go every week. A bit full-on for me, given it's a state school funded by taxpayers of all beliefs and none.

Edam -

I dont quite get why you are posting about it. Surely noone is forcing you to apply or as I've just skimmed read did I miss that bit!

What? Nothing against St N but we wouldn't 'fit in' judging by the parents I've met at M&T etc. etc. Several of whom were kind enough to tell me just that! I know you are lovely but I was relieved ds got into you-know-where instead. They do celebrate Christmas, Easter, Harvest Festival etc. etc. which is A Good Thing IMO but we don't have that pressure to be part of a club.

YANBU at all but you are obviously wavering over making a final decision on it.

In your position I would be highly pissed off that other peoiple think it is their right to tell you where your child should go to school. If there is a choice, make your choice. Full stop

BTW our kids go to a C of E school but I am jewish, I am noy happy abouu it but we have no choice living in a village

Edam - I agree it's a bit snooty. But it's a complete stretch to say all the parents go to church every week - they really don't. My son got in on the distance criteria - I didn't ever give any evidence of faith or religious references. I will be opting to send DD to RP if we can get a place. SG is the worst HS in town without a shadow of doubt.

Shame I didn't bump into you, had no idea you were anywhere within hailing distance!

I don't think St N is snobby as such, but I was given the impression it's a bit of a club and non-regular church goers wouldn't be welcome. Interesting you say not, though.

Is SG bad because it's a pressure cooker?

The one parent from nursery who is sending her son to St N is very nice, though, and far less concerned about jobs/houses/cars than many of the R parents, as it goes...

YANBU. I wouldn't send my children to a faith school either, unless there were no other local choices available. I don't understand why people would try to convince you to apply somewhere you wouldn't feel comfortable with -- seems silly.

i would not send dc to a faith school.

If you're not of that faith and moreover fundamentally object to faith schools then obviously you're not being unreasonable. I don't think people really care deep down where you send your child - it's just something people say when making conversation and trying to justify their own choices.

Madamez, I'm glad that you are going to stand against this superstitious crap. A school is the worse place to have religion since it's supposed to be teaching them facts, not someone's fantasies.

To those who say a child will not have religion pushed at them what was that thread the other day about all the kids being required to bring in a 'good news' bible?

As for "they will teach him religion, but you can oppose it at home" that sounds awful. I suppose if they taught that stealing was good you could tell them at home to ignore that too, but it wouldn't be acceptable.

The trouble is all schools are required to have 'acts of worship' whether or not they are designated faith schools (though many don't). Therefore, even a non-denominational school might be force-feeding the children crap although it's likely to be less full-on. I admire your stance madamez, but do check up on what goes on religion-wise at your alternative schools. I think the French are very wise to leave religion outside ALL their schools.

You can send him to any school you choose. However you will still have a daily act of worship(at least 51% Christian over the school year) and RE lessons whichever school he goes to.

Parents have the right to withdraw their child from both assembly and RE lessons if they choose.

Why would you choose to make them different?
They would miss all the fun things in assembly. What is wrong with other views?

They would presumably go out of assembly just before the religious bits started - at least that's what happened at my old school. No question of missing assembly.

It is all mixed into together-someone would have to be with them while they were out of assembly-you can't remember to keep popping in and out!!