To find it almost unbearable to spend an entire day with my 2.5 year old alone

[Hhahhhh]

DS isn’t even that challenging by general standards. I am embarrassed to admit that he’s quite chilled and yet I utterly despair having to have a full day with him. I find it so frustrating. DP is working this weekend so he left before ds woke and will be back after he’s in bed

being elbowed or head butted from all the bouncing around
being unable to concentrate in a shop and having to watch his every move in case he grabs something or runs off (he doesn’t like the trolley seat)
being unable to chat to my friend for more than 5 minutes when meeting up with her and her child as it’s constant wanting my attention
clearing up. Toys, food, mess. Sick of it.
not being able to have silence from questions unless the tv is on which I try and avoid.
spending money just to get through the day. Staying at home all day not an option as the house would be an absolute state.

I honestly cannot fathom how I will ever look back on this and wish I was still in it. As a baby it was so easy in comparison. I feel like I’m at work with no break for 13 hours.

Of course there are lovely moments and I’ve had some lovely moments today but 90% or the time it’s been an absolute fucking slog. Am I missing something? How can people enjoy this?!

Get some backpack reins so you don't have to worry about him running off. It is full on at that age, I always tried to get out of the house for a trip to the park, library etc most days just to break things up a bit.

@FionnulaTheCooler we are out everyday he’s not at nursery for at least part of the day. It’s just such a slog.

Funnily enough I've had similar today. Just me and 2.5 year old boy from late morning until bedtime. He is so busy. We've been out and then back and toys everywhere, asking questions about everything. I also find it really tiring! I keep reminding myself that when he's 13 he might only grunt at me and I'll think fondly of these long days together 😀

i agree with the above poster and also sounds like he’s got loads of energy so a park visit may help.

Safety in numbers. Find other families and so days out with them. That was how I coped

That does sound gruelling. Somehow worse at the weekend too when a lot of people have their partner there to talk to and take turns with.

It's a good day for getting water or sand out in the garden. Though I know nothing lasts long at this age.

Would you consider taking a night away in a hotel or staying with a friend while your partner is in charge? You sound like you really need a break. I do this about once a year and it gives me so much energy back.

I know what you mean. Small children are hard work and there are inevitably periods of boredom. I used to find I would have to take DS out and wear him out. Try to get him to run around, go to the park, be as physical as possible.

Also do things YOU want to do but adapt them to him - if you want to go to an art gallery, then go, show him stuff and talk to him about everything. It will be hard and not the same as if you went on your own but at least you don’t cut yourself off from everything that also interests you. Or go on a local train somewhere and look around, or take him on a double decker bus - simple things that are different. Start a sport, go swimming, get a balance bike..

I also had to process some stuff from my childhood. I found it very hard to do one on one imaginative play and I think that was because I was never played with that way. DH was great at that and they would do Lego and make believe for hours. I just couldn’t do it, but I was much better at doing stuff, out and about, cooking, whatever.

Good luck. I feel you. It does get easier.

Because some people do treasure this time with their kids and they actually like spending time with them?

If you don't that's fine.

Aw I do remember those days. You do just have to keep busy. Think of loads of jobs for them to do.

Walk to collect sticks to make a boat/raft. Take twine and then put it in the river.
Geocaching (I liked doing this!)
Walk with friend
Child friendly museum
Ikea (my lot loved a trip here?!)

It’s mind numbingly boring unless you really like nursery activities and singing endless nursery rhymes ( my best friend did) BUT it goes so quickly, and then they are challenging you ( as in another thread) and then just grunting at you from the sofa, and you think where did the time go?

No, you're right. It can be an absolute drag. Never being able to look at something or think properly because they need constant attention. It gets better. I like to keep routine or tell them how the day is going to go to keep them on track. But mostly build in distraction points or things they like to keep them on track. Unfortunately you have to keep busy all the time to best manage them, which kills me when I just want to watch rubbish tele and lie still.

There is definitely a stage where it is an absolute hard slog, and you’re wondering at 9:30am how you’re going to get through the day because you’ve already used up all the activities you’ve planned.

It gets better, and before long they are at nursery or school. Sign them up for some nursery hours as soon as they get to 3 if not already. It just gives you that bit of a break. Once they’re at nursery and then school you gradually start finding your life again, and looking forward to seeing them when they get home.

This is at least the third active thread of "I dread/can't stand being around my child"... honestly wtf is going on? It's depressing to be honest.

Ds was in a buggy at 2.5 if we went into a shop,so that's easily sorted.

DS didn't sleep either so for me it was like 24 hours at work with no breaks. Utterly soul destroying. You find strength you never knew you had. Other posters are right - it does get better. Small comfort while you're going through it, I know! You're not alone xx

Hmm let me think...could it possibly be that school is out for the summer in parts of the UK? 🤔😂

I found it v tough with my eldest at this age as he was so active and didn’t spend much time doing anything on his own till the hour just before bed 😆

A boots pharmacist labelled him a “worky- ticket!”

I spent an awful lot of time outdoors in parks and nat trust places. Softplays etc. in the winter I had to invest in a really warm coat and boots and flasks of cocoa.

he couldn’t walk anywhere, always ran. I had to train him to stop at kerbs and posts etc (I took chocolate buttons). Not long after he got a scooter which he loved.

I relied on delivery shopping and Amazon prime as shops were also hard work.

Number two buy was less full on and it was much easier. But he was also very grumpy and tantrumy which I never really had with number one. So it’s swings and round abouts tbh!

eldest now at secondary school, still extremely active but an absolute delight. It does get better!

Day to day with toddlers is mind numbingly dull. I don't miss it at all, although I Iook back fondly on how cute they were.
In an alternate universe I'd make sure I lived in South Kensington and had oodles of cash before the toddler years. We could just spend all day, every day wandering around museums and beautiful streets.

I found being out of the house kept me sane. I knew every toddler session at every London museum and had London zoo membership so we went all the time. Packed lunches and coffee in a reusable cup.

Shops?? No.
Conversation?? No.

It's all hands on deck at that age. Best place is a fenced park, snacks, picnic blanket if you're hopeful, and a hell of a lot of patience.

Lower your expectations

My eldest is now nearly five. I've got a newly turned three year old and 18 month old. I hear you on it being hard work, especially when OH has to work extra.

This will be me tomorrow as DH has to do some overtime tomorrow. It's too bloody hot to do a lot of stuff I would normally do to occupy them like the park or similar.

They're hot and bothered and so am I. Some days are just hard work. Mostly I really enjoy doing things with them but it's ok for there to be tough seasons. I'm pregnant and feel really sick and exhausted and finding life hard at the moment too.

I could literally have written this about my son when he was 2! OMG he was so active, he never stopped and I was exhausted! He's 18 now and very chilled so doesn't quite believe me but still likes being busy and is very sociable.
I remember when he was about 8, we'd been at a football tournament from 9am to 6pm and he asked me what the plan for the day was when we got home 🤣

Just get him out as much as possible lots of park visits and indoor play centres that way less mess to clean up at home and get can run his energy off.

If we weren't out of the house surrounded by nature by 9am Child #1 would lose all reason; if we weren't busying ourselves at home all day colouring or play dough, child #2 would blow a gasket.
They have always got on incredibly well but, oh my god, it was a trawl.

I have 3 kids under 4 so I can appreciate where you are coming from. I think it’s hard having 1 as you have to entertain them, I’m going through a tough phase too but at least I can say “go play with your brother” when I need 5 mins to myself. My husband works a way a few days at a time so I do a lot of solo parenting.

I have finally accepted to embrace the chaos and this mindset really helps. I used to tidy the house up throughout the day but as long as no one is coming over I just let the place become a shithole and then just tidy up at the end of the day. I often get them to help me too.

my advice is either embrace it or else get someone to come around to help you to give you some time to yourself, there is no shame in that, even with one. You don’t have to do it all yourself. Also I think you need to be realistic like meeting up with friends with a toddler is not going to be like when you meet up without kids. You need to factor this in, you will be interrupted (this doesn’t change as they get older). You need to find solutions to work your way around it as your kid isn’t going to change. You need to adapt to him or find some of your own downtime which is what you need.