To find it almost unbearable to spend an entire day with my 2.5 year old alone

[Hhahhhh]

DS isn’t even that challenging by general standards. I am embarrassed to admit that he’s quite chilled and yet I utterly despair having to have a full day with him. I find it so frustrating. DP is working this weekend so he left before ds woke and will be back after he’s in bed

being elbowed or head butted from all the bouncing around
being unable to concentrate in a shop and having to watch his every move in case he grabs something or runs off (he doesn’t like the trolley seat)
being unable to chat to my friend for more than 5 minutes when meeting up with her and her child as it’s constant wanting my attention
clearing up. Toys, food, mess. Sick of it.
not being able to have silence from questions unless the tv is on which I try and avoid.
spending money just to get through the day. Staying at home all day not an option as the house would be an absolute state.

I honestly cannot fathom how I will ever look back on this and wish I was still in it. As a baby it was so easy in comparison. I feel like I’m at work with no break for 13 hours.

Of course there are lovely moments and I’ve had some lovely moments today but 90% or the time it’s been an absolute fucking slog. Am I missing something? How can people enjoy this?!

Yeah I don't think you'll look back at this and wish you were there!

My DD is 11 now and it's so much more chilled, got better every year so far, hang on in there.

I do realise I haven't hit the teenage years yet! 😄

I’ll also add…. You’re a mum of a boy!! Mum of 3 boys here! They are feral things compared to girls.. like little creatures from space! Girls just like to sit and colour in while boys like to run off and climb the walls…. Well that is certainly what I feel anyways! 😃 It’s just the card we dealt but hopefully we’ll be laughing when they are teenagers! Very stereotypical and generic I know… probably won’t work out that way!

I sympathise. Parks are free. Ones with playground equipment. Swimming knackers them out=naps=peace.
Friends over = chat with an adult. Cinema kids shows?
Mother and toddlers. I did it all rather than stay home

Don't blame you as it's a hard age.

I do remember it being hard at that age.

With both of mine - a boy and a girl - I don’t subscribe to the theory boys are more active at all.

With DS I found the baby areas at soft play quite good beside at least he wasn’t falling down. And with both of them I liked to be meeting up with others, or at least being as active as possible to get through the time - DD was always happiest when swimming and then would nap very well.

It is a hard time. I remember feeling like the minutes went by like hours. But now they are older (mine are 16 and 11) the hours fly by like minutes on the weekend.

Are there free stay and plays where you are? They saved my life with young kids

OP no one could or should spend a whole day alone with a two-year old. Sometimes we have no choice but it's not fun at all - it's tedious, draining and isolating. Not only, of course, but mostly.

Try to plan to break up the day. Meet up with other moms and children; visit family; do an activity, whatever you can. This is not about not loving your child deeply. It's about the fact childrearing is not designed to be a solitary activity.

It’s shit. Really hard work.

I was in a similar position. Husband was away loads with work. No family nearby, nobody to just help me occasionally.

unfortunately you’ve just got to grit your teeth and get through it. Time seems to stand still when they’re this age but seriously you blink and then they’re at school and then you blink again and they’re ten years old (as mine is now). But it’s very hard to find copious amount of joy when they’re this age due to how demanding they are.

also if you need to use TV more to get a break and save your sanity. You should do it! Don’t make things harder than they need to be

The art is to go out early enough for them not to get any toys out. Go where you want to go to, walk around a museum or a shopping centre, reins are your answer.
I had 2 under 2.5 (both discovered later to have ADHD) and reins attached to extendable dog leads and a push chair (with buggy board) to house all the food snacks and crap you have to have with you and off I went each day.

DS at 18months old always found the Inca exhibition at the British Museum fascinating. You will be surprised at what children find interesting.

At that age I took them all over
A few hours on the rice machine and watching the bubble show at the Science Museum and a look at Dippy next door or a years Merlin pass bought on Tesco clubcard points meant the aquarium, London eye or Legoland and Chessington

The art was to get them running around and to keep them awake on the journey home because that meant bath and bed time and a peaceful evening to myself

If they fell asleep then they got their 2nd wind and would be going till midnight and beyond

Isn’t it just.

Are they?! Ours have another 3 weeks!

You don't have to love every stage of parenting to love your children.

I found the toddler years really, really tough. Much tougher than the newborn stage or anything that came after. I remember some days after we'd had breakfast, got dressed, been to the park, been to the Library, come home, read a story, done some colouring, had the play doh out and had a snack i'd look at the clock and want to weep when I realised it was only 10am and I still had 8 hours to fill until DH got home.

Fortunately, it's temporary. My youngest is 6 now and life is so much easier and more fun now. Hang in there and be kind to yourself, OP.

Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting Cbeebies on for half an hour so you can have a cup of tea, get some jobs done or just stare into the abyss in silence!

Toddler boys are like springer spaniels, they need plenty of exercise and mental stimulation otherwise they climb the walls. Fresh air and exercise.

It is a full on age. They have so much energy. Is he stopping you from doing things? Could you get him involved in helping you? Could you take him to a playground with a friend who has kid of similar age so that they can run around together? Sand box and water box is great at this age. Making cakes - the ones you just need water and egg for. Farms and soft play (hell) also good for running off energy. And balance bike or scooter

It’s so dull and I never understood why some people loved it so much. It gets easier…. And then they hate you.

I'm a childminder and I love little kids but even I wouldn't choose to spend all day home alone!
Have a routine and get out and about. It doesn't need to be expensive.
Take a pushchair if he's a runner.
Go out in the mornings to a church hall playgroup. Toddler can play and you can have a chat and a coffee.
Take a picnic and have lunch in the park. Eating outside = less mess at home.
Does he still nap? If not, have some TV time after lunch.
Go out again in the afternoon. Feed the ducks. Go to the library. Invite another mum and child round.
Do as much of the messy stuff outside as possible - sand pit and water tray are your friends!
I definitely wouldn't choose to go to the shops unless it's quick and toddler is contained in a buggy.

Mine are school age now and every time I see a parent with a toddler I feel a wave of gratitude that mine are past that stage. Short attention spans, in case of DS quite destructive and couldn’t really be beyond arm’s reach as he would break something or himself. It’s hard work.

Also if you are on your own with them you have no adult conversation or any chance to think your thoughts all day so very boring! DH managed this by listening to podcasts on headphones but I felt I wouldn’t be present enough if I did that- maybe should have done it anyway

I love spending time with my kids now they are older though- hang in there!

I don't take him into a supermarket unless he's in the buggy and I use a basket. I rarely get a chance to do a 'big shop' so I just do little and often, as my child free weekends are for rest and seeing friends!
I have dropped my standards about the mess and just accept there will always be something gross under foot no matter how often I sweeep!

A rocket launcher toy keeps him and a friend busy for a while so you can chat to your friend. Also go for walk with the kids in the buggy then you can chat.

Before kids I was quite introverted but with toddlers I really needed other company to make it easier. Found lockdown absolutely hellish as a toddler mum. For some of us single handedly looking after and entertaining a small child all day is grim.

It’s hard work for sure, can he kick a ball yet? This will use up lots of energy in the garden/park. I would also place a supermarket delivery or maybe go in the evening when he is asleep? I tried to avoid shopping as much as possible when mine were toddlers. Unless it was to buy shoes and get their feet measured as they hated shopping. This phase will pass quickly and he will be able to do more with you soon.

Isn't this what mumsnet is for? Or should some parents just lie about how they feel?

Maybe take heart from the fact that there's not long to go till things improve. I had a very active two year old. He could trot about from morning till night and still didn't need much sleep. Fortunately a country child, so lots of places to run but exhausting. Being with friends and family helped. But I actually remember sitting in a cafe with him - not long after he turned three - and suddenly realising that we were having a pretty civilized conversation about what was going on around us and we were both enjoying it. Everything gradually got more manageable after that. My lovely mother-in-law had told me this would happen but I don't think I believed her. Mind you, we always took masses of paper and crayons with us wherever we went!

You’re not alone OP. Mine are 1.5 and 3 and quite frankly right now it’s like torture. I take them out to parks etc and they bolt in opposite directions then both tantrum when they r made to stay in sane general area. I’m can’t even sit down on but I’m clambered on, smacked , hair pulled. They won’t sit down nicely to eat. My DH works 6 days a week from morning up til after they r in bed. I work on his day off. I’m just constantly trailing round places I don’t even like trying to entertain kids spending money I can’t afford and isn’t appreciated. I’m just hoping it gets better. Fed up of being gas lit with oh Ul miss these days. Oh yes il miss being booted in the chest strapping toddlers into car seats while they scream n im sweating my tits off hoping I might be able to get 5 mins head space

I found it boring too op. I used to envy people that could get down on they're hands and knees and play pretend for hours. Mine became quite independent at playing by themselves.

We went to a lot of playgroups when mine were toddlers, but then there was the added horror of having to make small talk with lots of other adults.

I am aware that I don't sound very nice but we can't help who we are. The kids are fine and we get on brilliantly. Basically you just have to force yourself to go through the motions. They will soon be chatting about dinosaurs and Guy Fawkes and other interesting things 😄

I don’t know how people do it. I find half an hour with my toddler niece as boring as hell. She’s gorgeous and not naughty or anything, but it’s just full on and bores me senseless.