To not really understand the need for people to drink alcohol all the time?

[BusWankers]

I really don't understand why people socialise and drink alcohol all the time, or go out specifically to get drunk and have fun, or all the "LOL Prosecco time!" At 11am in a Sunday. And people buying boxes if beers and 4 bottles of wine as part of the weekly shop.

I do drink, very rarely, sometimes for weddings or whatever.bit I really don't understand the normality of everyday drinking.

I know I'm in the minority, bit
..what gives?????

This!

It’s such extremes! As you say currently 30% off three bottles of wine in Morrisons. Will I buy three? Yes I will!

Doesn’t mean I’m drinking them all in one week, but obviously does mean I’m being judged.

Honestly, thousands upon thousands of people drink with healthy guidelines every week.

I don’t recognise this description at all. Among all of my friendship groups alcohol consumption has lowered dramatically. Many barely drink. Young people in their teens and twenties don’t have anything like the drinking culture that existed in the 90s and 00s. I have a drink most weekends and that’s more than 90% of the people I know.

And since you seem to be low on empathy I will spell out to you that I do so because I enjoy it and it helps me to relax after a long week of full time work, parenting and general life grind.

Agree. I love a nice cold Pinot Grigio on a summers evening after a long day at work.

I also love a few cocktails on holiday - a pina colada complete with pineapple slice and a sparkly straw is part of the fun experience imo.

Im pushing 60 and haven’t been drunk in years - most of us are able to drink in moderation and enjoy a few drinks without getting hammered

I think YABU, and I say that as a recovering alcoholic.

Most people are able to enjoy alcohol in moderation, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, it must be quite nice to partake in a nice cool beer in a pub garden on a sunny day, or a glass of fizz at a celebration.

Not that I would know what that feels like, because I have a problem with alcohol in that I'm unable to drink moderately.
Once that first drink goes down, it's game on for me.

Therefore, I don't have the first drink? Then it can't end badly for me.

I don't think you're "struggling to understand" though, I think you're simply judging.

They enjoy it and that’s how they choose to relax? I enjoy a drink, today after my garden jobs are done I will be sitting in the garden with a Prosecco and get nicely tipsy. I like climbing mountains, riding my horse and walking my dogs as well. I hate going to the cinema or theatre, don’t particularly like eating out, I can’t think of anything worse than a city break or a cruise. Art galleries what’s the point in those. Send me to a music festival though and I am my element.

you don’t need to understand why someone enjoys something that you don’t we are all
different.

I think this has changed massively since covid. Everyone was building bars in the back garden and drinking by noon, but now everyone seems to be counting the days they haven't had a drink for, going to the gym and meeting mates for a run.

You really can’t understand that other people might like doing something you don’t do? I find it hard to understand how you don’t understand this. It’s common sense.

I don't drink alcohol, I never have but I don't have an issue with those that do so in moderation. But the people drink beer with their breakfast at 10 a.m in the morning (go to any pub on a Saturday morning and there will always be someone having a beer with their full English), and the "whoohoo-lets-go-and-get-pissed" brigade, just leave me feeling a bit baffled if I'm honest

People are strange.
I don't drink often.
I went out recently and had 3 cocktails, then moved on to soft drinks. It was made into a really big deal to some people, kept trying to change my mind.
Why does it even matter?

I stopped drinking completely 10 years ago. It's been life changing. I can't think of one single time when drinking improved my life.

The OP was saying she doesn't understand why people drink weekly rather than one off events like weddings. I wouldn't class weekly drinkers as heavy drinkers and many people are completely able to moderate their intake. There's definitely a problem group of half a bottle of wine a night but also all the people who can happily drop it for whatever reason. I definitely want a nice glass of wine sometimes. I might also want fatty or sweet foods. I make a choice about whether I actually consume them - I don't need any of them.

I drink because I really really enjoy it. Chatting with my friends or my mum and grandma and SILs all having a few glasses is my best times. I don't need it and never drink unless it's a social occasion but I love it. I don't enjoy exercise, hobbies, cooking, crafts - it all mystifies me. I like drinking wine with my friends an family and listening to music and being silly and laughing a lot. We are working class Northerners and it's what we have always done. Threads like this miss the FUN alcohol can bring to the vast majority who have no addiction issues.

This. And you sound a bit judgemental, OP

I had to stop drinking when menopause dictated that alcohol would give me intense migraines that had me on the floor vomiting after one glass. Not going to lie, I miss it. I miss a couple of glasses of Prosecco at a party, I miss the buzz and lowering of social inhibitions and just having more fun. I miss not always being the designated driver to a car full of people having a good laugh. I miss a glass of chilled Pinot in the garden or a jug of Pimms with friends.

But not drinking has made me much more aware of just HOW MUCH other people drink, more so than I ever was before. And I think drinking a little bit of alcohol was fun but there's a great deal who take it too far. But because I don't drink at all I don't think it's my place to say 'you all drink too much.' Even though I find it slightly scary.

I grew up in a household where adults drank most nights and went to the pub several times a week. It was normal to start drinking around 14 and ‘go round town’ . Into my twenties I would go into town with my friends 2/3 nights a week.

I stopped drinking as much in my thirties as I began to focus on my health, initially my friends were bemused when I sometimes opted to drive but some of the others followed suit. I still have a couple drinks once a week with dh on a Saturday and meet ups with Friends are usually food /alcohol related although alcohol is optional. It’s a massive part of the culture I grew up in.

My DDs are now adults and their experience of alcohol is completely different, they don’t do town/binge drinking at all. They will sometimes have a couple drinks on a weekend but a lot of their friendship meet ups are for food, gym, shopping, activities . The way they socialise is totally different.

I don't drink at all, I did experiment with alcohol a bit in my teens but I could just never see what the fuss was about so I quit. However I would say it affected my social life it was the 90's and drinking was a huge part of being young and going out. I was more inhibited when out than my drinking friends and does anyone really want a sober girl around to remember all the crazy shit you did with nothing embarrassing of her own? Lots of guys wanted a girlfriend they could get hammered with so I think there was and maybe is still a lot of pressure to drink to fit in and be accepted.

I also think that most people have at least one unhealthy coping mechanism and alcohol is one of the most popular people come to associate it with relaxing and letting their hair down and then its how they access that feeling during the week when they are stressed or they drink when watching a football match and they start craving a beer during a mid week game or a glass of wine when the kids are in bed because they have that association and pattern deeply ingrained in their brain.

I am not sure I think alcohol is healthy some research suggests some benefits but most shows it is over all harmful but in moderation is probably ok and it is a social lubricant and socialising is beneficial to humans. So I do understand why people drink and I also understand that it is easy to start turning to the thing we associate with "good times" when we feel stressed in day to day life.

It relaxes people.

We are a stressed, overworked population. People are desperate for anything that helps them switch off from the grind of juggling work and childcare and everything else.

I think alcohol affects every one of us personally.

From drunk drivers to violence to alcoholism and problem drinking.

Relatives, friends, colleagues. There'll be someone in everyone's life who has a knock on effect due to alcohol.

I voted YANBU because my inlaws are bloody obsessed with alcohol. It's led to a drink obsession of varying degrees at different times with each of their 4 DCs (1 of which i'm married to obvs). The inlaws are well aware of their kids struggles with alcohol over the years.

For info. this is a 'well to do' family - we're not talking about swigging out of 2 litre bottles of white lightening up alley ways - we're talking naice wine and naice cider and expensive whiskey.

My DH has been tee total now for over a year (not been easy) and he has to tell them (mainly MIL) EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME we go out with them or go over there that No, I'm not drinking mum. Because every single time she offers him alcohol. And every single fucking time he says no she sort of stops what she's doing and looks utterly bewildered as if he's just said his new hobby is licking lamp posts or something. Twat.

Drinking alcohol is ingrained in society for a number of reasons

1. historical - water was unsafe to drink until decent sewege & water management became common. Everyone drank small beer or ale all the time in northern Europe and wine in warmer climates. Binge drinking seems to be linked to Viking settlement areas - their idea of heaven was a drinking hall.
   Most of southern mainland Europe drinks wine every night but don't do it get pissed.

2. because the English are an inhibited nation who find it hard to relax / interact with strangers without a social framework - alcohol in pubs & clubs is one of those frameworks. Others include sport, church groups & in the 19th & 20th sobriety societies.

3. advertising.

Personally I drink alcoholic or low alcohol drinks every night because I like the taste and find most soft drinks disgustingly sweet & (now thanks to the sugar tax) full of gross sweeteners. I drink coffee, fruit juice, Roses Lime Cordial & booze.

If you don't want to drink, don't drink. Problem solved!

Why does it concern you what other people do?

I think people's lives are stressful these days. For those who work hard all week it's a way of unwinding and a sense of freedom.

Totally agree, some weeks I have a drink, others I don’t . However I don’t judge people on their drinking habits whether they drink alcohol or lots of coffee, each to their own.

"Now in their mid 40s they are starting to visit. Which I think points to my insecurity theory."

Or maybe now they can afford the taxi.
Did you never offer for some of them to stay over?

I drink alcohol but I don’t eat cakes. I don’t understand why people feel the need to eat cakes and post about cakes on FB or go out specifically to drink tea and eat cakes. What gives?

Oh sorry, I think I mean “what am I missing?” That’s the MN classic phrase isn’t it?