To not really understand the need for people to drink alcohol all the time?

[BusWankers]

I really don't understand why people socialise and drink alcohol all the time, or go out specifically to get drunk and have fun, or all the "LOL Prosecco time!" At 11am in a Sunday. And people buying boxes if beers and 4 bottles of wine as part of the weekly shop.

I do drink, very rarely, sometimes for weddings or whatever.bit I really don't understand the normality of everyday drinking.

I know I'm in the minority, bit
..what gives?????

My husband has never really been a drinker, and hardly drinks at all now, very handy as designated driver, but I’m drinking less as a result and it is quite eye opening. Not having to think about taxis after a night out or, can’t go there, how will we get home?

we’ll have a zero or low alcohol beer in the garden when it’s sunny and then be able to drive to the beach to take the dog for a sunset walk. Not that we were blotto before but would have had had 2 or 3 beers.

its so normalised on tv too….

I am not a big drinker but don’t “struggle” to understand those who like a drink. OP isn’t struggling to understand, she’s judging.

someone buying 4 bottles of wine may be hosting a party, or stocking up on their favourite brand on special offer. Lots of people are quite happy to have a glass of wine or beer with a meal then stop. Or one cocktail.

There is this weird idea on MN that you’re either teetotal or a problem drinker with nothing in between the two extremes.

I don’t drink, but my husband does. I buy 6 bottles of wine at a time, because Tesco often has an offer of money off when you buy 6. Husband drinks one bottle a week - half with dinner on Saturday and the other half with dinner on Sunday so those 6 bottles will last 6 weeks.

Some weeks you would judge my shopping trolley very harshly. Most weeks I buy no alcohol at all.

More seriously, I do agree with you that excessive alcohol consumption is a problem among some people and that it is often trivialised (as long as it’s middle class women giggling about “wine o’clock” rather than homeless men on park benches or students vomiting in the street).

I'm in my 50s and I've noticed that a lot of my friends are drinking less than they used to.

I’m exactly like you. Booze never enters my mind.
I enjoy the occasional pint, a cocktail on holiday.

But most of my friends like to have evening wine, going out at the weekend. DH goes to the pub, enjoys cans or wine at home.

It's completely socially acceptable/ required. Amongst many people if you can remember the party/ wedding/ day at the races then you didn't gave a good enough time. My first husband was an alcoholic. I drink very little as does my second husband. When people are drunk they think they are absolutely hilarious. When you are sober they aren't remotely funny, they're just drunk.

*have not gave

I have a strong family history of alcoholism so I don’t drink but I did when I was younger so I understand why people enjoy it and how it lets people lose their inhibitions a little and relax.

I do think that he UK, particularly Scotland where so live, has a very big drinking culture and I am considered a total weirdo for not drinking, my MIL still tries to get me to drink alcohol after knowing me as a non drinker for almost twenty years, she sees it as a personal insult that I won’t sit and have a glass of wine with her but it is what it is.

I know one couple in their early thirties with very young children and professional jobs who are drinking multiple bottles of wine every night which I think is a sad state of affairs but it’s their life, not mine, they think I am boring as a non drinker so it’s swings and roundabouts.

The tv thing is very true. In every drama about a busy, professional woman she'll get home from some dramatic, frazzled day and open the very full fridge and pull out a bottle of white wine. In every legal drama they'll have wine and then sit in bed surrounded by legal papers. Male detectives ( mavericks who do it their own way blah blah) always have a large whisky after a tricky day. On Eastenders someone was always breaking open the whiskey after some trauma or other.

I used to drink and I loved it. I stopped enjoying it in mid life, so I stopped. Now I can’t understand why I used to want to drink. It’s such a big part of life - wine with dinner, celebrate with a glass, commiserate with a glass. But I really don’t miss it.

OP I'm with you on this.

I was having this conversation just the other day with my DN (mid 20s) who is fed up of her friends' outings revolving around getting drunk.

To the PPs who say that people just like different things, that's true. But alcohol does not have the same effect on everyone. I have never understood why some people say they like a drink 'to relax'. I do not understand it because it does not relax me. So no, it's not that OP has no imagination, it's that you are likely physiologically different.

Culturally, it is acceptable in a way other addictive substances are not. Personally, I see it as a means to mask insecurity. There are people who are unable to go out without getting pissed. And I can't stand being around most of them when they do.

I have some family members who have never accepted an invitation to dinner or a BBQ at our house because we live 15 mins drive away with few and expensive taxis and "we won't be able to drink". They obviously consider this a reasonable excuse, while my mind boggles! Now in their mid 40s they are starting to visit. Which I think points to my insecurity theory.

Thankfully, I think PPs are correct that it's becoming less common and less the norm socially.

I would love an audit to be done on what percentage of AIBUs are about issues that don't affect you personally. This is right up there with them. It's just being judgemental about adult choices. BTW, OP, people don't need your understanding.

In some ways, I think it's odder to only drink at events like weddings. You either can't like it very much (in which case why have it at all?) or do like it but are depriving yourself from something that isn't that big a deal. I enjoy a glass of wine so have it perhaps fortnightly, in the same way I also eat crisps, pizza and chocolate in that time. None of that is food for me but I'm in good health. The vast majority of people who drink alcohol will live to around average life expectancy.

I don't doubt alcohol is addictive but many people can take it or leave it, enjoying it in the same way as other junk food. I easily stopped for pregnancies and breastfeeding and might not have it for a couple of months if not feeling inclined. I can't imagine this conversation being had in France or Italy and everyone who drinks being accused of being addicted. It's just something people like.

Completely agree.

There are lots of things I don’t do which some people think normal - such as being a naturist - but i am broadminded enough to understand that some people enjoy it?

Seems v odd as an adult to not understand that we’re all individuals and therefore it’s not a herd mentality but we all like and do different things. Yabu

Maybe they don’t “neeeeeeed” to drink alcohol, but just want to? It is allowed to do things purely because you want to, you know. If you don’t want to, that’s fine - no one is forcing you to drink. Stop giving it headspace.

I was thinking about this when my children were choosing father's day cards the other week. All the little tatty presents for children to buy were beer related. Many of the cards were beer related.

It's the same with mother's day, but with prosecco or wine.

It goes to show how deeply engrained alcohol consumption is in our society. We have got to a point where we are showing the next generation that it's normal and expected make drinking a significant part of your personality.

I am an alcoholic & quit drinking nearly 18 months ago. It’s everywhere! I even saw it for sale in WH Smith’s at a motorway services! I think it’s only when you stop that you realise just how much people talk about it & how they are going to use it to feel better. And all social events seem to revolve around alcohol. I think that’s why a lot of people drink - it’s expected. When I quit before, a lot of my friends just didn’t get it ( although admittedly I hadn’t told them back then that I was an alcoholic. Took a long time for me to use that term in relation to myself & it’s still very tough). They would insist that I had “ just one”as if I would be unable to enjoy myself without alcohol. It’s better now because the range of AF drinks available is much bigger & many of them are pretty similar to the real thing. I had a Tanqueray AF gin & tonic & had to check that the barman hadn’t given me proper gin by mistake!

People like different things, yes. I don’t think that’s what the OP is talking about.

In my circles, alcohol seems to be the basis of every day and every activity. I’ve grown older and more health conscious, so don’t drink the same amount I used to at all. I might have a really nice wine with dinner once a month, one icy beer in a heatwave, or one cocktail on holiday in a cool bar. Most people in my community, and my close friends, I’m pretty sure are alcoholic. There are more days of the week drinking than not. Every social occasion, no matter how trivial, is bookended with alcohol. Once the booze is cracked open, it’s until pretty much oblivion, no limitations. Every win, every loss, every end of day wind-down, is alcohol. As we’re all getting older and everyone of my friends is getting dreadful health problems, I don’t understand why everyone is glugging down a bottle (sometimes two) of wine every evening, and caning it at weekends.

The posh school mums, when my kids were at primary, were almost as bad as my working class friends. Just more fancy with it. Glass of something pricey with a diptyque candle burning in the background, wearing Lululemon leggings in their £40k kitchens. Somehow initially looks and feels less grim than my mates who sink a bottle of wine from Aldi in their pyjamas watching Bake Off. All amounts to the same thing, though. We have a cultural problem with alcohol in this country, and I know because I used to buy into it.

When I stop at one glass or don’t drink at all, everyone thinks I’m depriving myself and encourages me to treat myself. Madness.

As someone whose life has been blighted by loved ones abusing alcohol, I agree op. We have a drinking culture in this country which is deeply harmful where very few actually just enjoy it in moderation. Deaths and injuries from alcohol consumption are higher than for any other drug. I'm not being pious, and drinking in moderation is fine. I drink. But on a personal level these days (since having kids) I just don't see the point in writing off a whole day due to having a hangover. Time is precious and I believe in filling it well.

Oh good. Another holier than thou thread about alcohol, it must be a good few hours since the last one.

Edited for typo

"All the time"

Well, someone who drinks "all the time" is an alcoholic meaning they are obviously addicted, which is why they drink "all the time".

There's actually an incredibly thin line between wanting to and needing to though. Most heavy drinkers (to the point of it causing health or relationship problems) don't see their habit as the cause of the problems, because they don't reach for the vodka upon waking.

During Covid, we had all the ‘save the NHS’ bullshit. If the U.K. had a better attitude to alcohol, we could save the NHS very easily. A&E on a weekend is full of the results of drunken behaviour, and wards are full of people suffering chronic effects of long term alcohol abuse.

There's actually an incredibly thin line between wanting to and needing to though.

But surely everyone who ever drinks wants to? Unless you’re saying every drinker is a problem drinker?

I don’t think it was meant quite that literally.