To think if you had this sum of money you’d be pretty relaxed about finances? Or am I out of touch?!

[Uuaner]

75k in savings and 150k mortgage on a 600k valued home.

if I was in this position with no debt I wouldn’t be anxious about so many things like temporarily losing employment, having a boiler breakdown, needing a new car… all sorts of financial stress would evaporate.

would you feel the same?

context is my best friend is in this position (inheritance) and is so so money conscious and always panicking about the next thing that may go wrong… even though she clearly has the money if needed?! Am I missing something?

Well we don’t really have enough info to make a decision? If your friend is late 50s, has little pension provision, dependents, and a small income, then yes I’d be money conscious too.
So age, dependents, pension provision and income all come into it. As does the standard of living to which they’re accustomed.

Any pension in addition? One person's feeling of financial security is very different from someone else's.

@Daisydoesnt she’s 38!

Her mistake is sharing financial information.

It depends on her age really.

Agree it depends on the specifics. If they’ve got a job that pays the mortgage comfortable then I think they’re doing well. But if they’ve just been made redundant then that would still be assorted as the savings won’t last forever.

@onehorserace i guess so but I can’t even imagine having 75k and a small mortgage. When my savings reached 15k I was celebrating!

I have a large sum of savings but I don't see it as a find to spend from, it's an early retirement pot foe when yhe government fucks us over and increase the retirement age... Again

So for me I'd feel anxious with large unplanned expenses despite being able to afford them.

It's all about a person attitude to finance, not their actual financial position, you can't make comparisons as not everyone thinks in the same way

It’s a nice situation to be in, but she needs to support herself for the next 50+ years and it won’t go far in doing that.

You don’t get rich by spending money - better to be conscious about it!

Attitudes to money vary a lot, look at the threads on here. It's also very heart felt so I wouldn't go rubbishing your pal's views. Just make non committal noises and change the subject.

Cross post. There is no need to be really worried and she has more savings than average for her age if you look at stats but each person has their personal level of of comfort when it comes to money. At that age I had paid off my mortgage.

And what’s her income? Does she have children? A partner? How long has she been paying into a pension?

There shouldn’t be any shame around how we feel about money - if her “bar” for feeling secure is higher than yours that isn’t a moral failing on her part, is it?

I’ve not said anything to her. Just find it really strange, I wouldn’t stop working but I wouldn’t be living on edge about money if I had that.

Well, first of all, £150k mortgage is debt!

It obviously depends on income and outgoings, but I'd say this person is OK, but still not comfortable and potentially is still going to stress about money. The small amount of savings could disappear in no time. And do they have a pension?

@Daisydoesnt of course. I’m not judging her like that, I am more questioning myself as to why I seem to find it such a huge sum!

@Cynic17 no idea about a pension, I presume through work but I don’t know

People's feelings about money aren't always rational.

There are people earning almost nothing who spend whatever comes in and others with hundreds of thousands in savings who are ruthless in never going into overdraft and penny pinching.

It's very hard to judge how someone else feels about their financial situation. It's as much to do with their psychology as it is their actual financial circumstances.

Has she always had money or was she struggling before the inheritance ???

because, from my experience, of being completely broke and panicking on how to feed my kids, buy birthday /Christmas presents, clothes for them etc etc …. Even now I’m much better off, I still get stressed about what I have or haven’t got.

Those feelings of panic don’t just evaporate when you realistically no longer have those struggles.

Did she struggle before her inheritance? It’s hard to change your mindset when you’ve spent years surviving financially.

I wouldn’t be anxious, but wouldn’t be relaxed about it either. Imo it would still be important to manage that money incase of a future change in circumstances.

It isn't going to allow her to give up work any time soon. It is a decent place to be, but if spends her savings on boilers etc, then what?

A big part of it may be her background. My husband is very financially cautious because his parents were bankrupt and he doesn't want that happening to him. I tend to be more gung-ho because I have never really had to worry about money and things have always worked out in the end.

She sounds savvy and switched on.

It's not a small amount of money but isn't huge either.

A new car, kitchen and decent holiday would probably put a big dent in 75K.

No I wouldn't be worried about poverty with that in the bank but I wouldn't be in any rush to spend it like water either.

Money is relative. To someone with no savings 75K can seem like a huge amount. But when you get that 75K and start to spend it you soon realise it can go down pretty quickly.

The easiest money to spend and not be concerned about is always someone else's.

While I agree with people saying it depends on lots of factors and that she can’t go crazy….

I think you were looking more for a sense check, which I’ll participate in. She is clearly better off than the vast majority of the planet. Not including pension, she has £575k after the mortgage debt is removed. So including pension she’s likely got a net worth of over £600k before 40. By that logic, if people think she should be worried, God help the rest of the world daring to live without anxiety with smaller net worths.

Basically, yes, you have a point!

ETA: I knew a couple in their mid 20s who were eating beans on toast and pasta most days (with their child), no holidays, no eating out - nothing. They had a double income of what would now (with inflation) be about £80k, owned their home (with a mortgage), and had about £40k in cash savings. IMO, they were NOT well off - but it was OTT to forsake eating proteins and the occasional Cornish holiday for their child.

So her mortgage will be about £900-£1,000 a month. Other costs will take that to a minimum outgoing of £2,000 a month.

If she has children, are they in private school approaching GCSEs. Or an expensive car on PCP? Does she work in an industry with short tenure employment?

Lots of thing affect security.

I don’t think your friend needs you tittle tattling on an open forum about her finances

I have a big chunk in savings, a lot of disposable income and not much left on the morgage at 40.
But unfortunately I'm a mess when it comes to financial security.
I know it's ridiculous and I always thought when I received an inheritance that I knew was coming all would be fine and I would relax but I think I'm actually worse now 😥.
I definitely have a lot of money anxiety. I work out how much money I have for the week over and over again.
Any unexpected expense makes me panicky and cue a frantic session of how I can cover the costs without taking from savings.
I know a lot of people wouldn't understand, it has stemed from a horrible time in my early 20s in a very bad financial position and I just can't shake it.