AIBU for attending show with male friend?

[CrossingBoundaries007]

I've been started dating this man less than a year ago and he recently proposed.

all was well until I found out he had given out his number to 2 different women on dating sites after he had proposed to me. Living some pictures etc.

when I confronted him he said he forgot to deactivate the account. Then I told him about his recent conversations but he lied and said that he wasn't active even though I had read all their conversations.

He stopped talking to me for a week. I got pissed off and a male friend invited me to see a show with him. Normally I would decline but this time I agreed cos I wanted to go out.

Fiance is now angry with me and acting really pissed.

AIBU to think there was nothing with me going to the show with my friend?

I agree. This has emotional abuse written all over it.

Please op don’t carry on with this man. You’re getting good advice here.. please, please take it.

Stop analysing, just dump him.

YABU, it was just a petty attempt to get your own back on him. If he’d slept with somebody, would you have also done that?

The gaslighting is utterly insane!

Yep! You are a fool if you marry this person.

Sometimes I can scarcely believe the rubbish people are willing to accept.

I am surprised you are asking. When you typed out your OP, you must have re-read and thought WTF.

Respectfully - ah, actually, no, bin that, I don't mean it.

What I actually mean is: are you fucking mad?!

This is so far beyond what a normal relationship looks like that it's dropped off the horizon and now it's turtles all the way down...

You don’t think you can trust him , YOU CAN’T TRUST HIM !!!!!
He is divorced because of cheating, what else is he going to say to you , other than he had no intention of meeting them !🙄 ..
Cheating & lieing go hand in hand …
You’d be a very foolish woman to continue this relationship….

🥹 I think all his gaslighting has probably done one on my brain cells. I've just tolerated too much and got used to "managing him"

YABU for normally refusing to see your friend because it's a male friend but now seeing him just to wind up your fiance. Your friend deserves better

But also this fiancé is a lying cheating pig, dont marry this one

Oh well thats alright then.. ffs

A smart woman would know that no woman ever got what she actually wanted by lowering the bar.

"What if worse things happen and you can't get over them?" What worse things like you catch him cheating in your bed instead of on his phone? Why would you want to overcome that?

Hes not a prize to be won. Let him go and love yourself the way you wish he had.

Is he wanting to move into your house or for you to support him financially?

in any case, I agree with everyone else- a life of misery awaits unless you get rid asap

OP, I note that you've made several posts since I asked you if you had yet been persuaded to dump this waste of space, but you haven't answered. Surely by now you can see that you're just wasting your time on him?

Try the Freedom Programme, OP. You have a lot of learning to do

He means what if he does worse things. What does he have in mind, stealing all your money, sleeping with your best friend?
Get rid. Ask your male friend to introduce you to some non cheating men.

Hilarious!! You’ve got to admire his barefaced arrogance - you can’t trust a word he says AND he’s trying to gaslight you into thinking this is somehow your fault.
You can’t possibly have a future with this lowlife - you will never be able to trust him. Respect yourself and move on.

FGS why would you even want to be married to this man? You can’t be that desperate to be married that you’ll just take anyone surely? Bin him off OP.

Why would you “normally decline”
hanging out with your male friend? Because your fiancé doesn’t like it?

Give me strength. What sort of a future do you seriously consider you would have with a creep like this?

No matter how much you want to be engaged, look at the evidence that is stacking up under your nose.

He has completely missed the point. In life there are lots of battles to fight but you fight them as team and have each other’s backs.
please please please don’t marry this man.

That when we get married what if worse things happen and I can't overcome them

If worse things happen? Given you have already caught him cheating so what’s worse than that? I can think of one obvious thing

Do you think he is trying to tell you something

Think you need to go and get tested.

Even if he hasn’t given you an STD I presume he is planning on worse things so believe him.

I think he lives in a fantasy world where he plays the jack the lad character who can’t help falling for other women and you play the role of the wife crying at the kitchen sink and fighting off every woman he sleeps with. Are you sure he knows that it is 2025 and he isn’t in some 1960s soap opera where no one divorces because of the shame and wives fight for their man

I would leave him just because he thinks you should fight for him

Tell him you are not a smart woman so you are letting him go to find this smart woman who will fight for him when he cheats on her and will get over what ever he is planning to do that will upset her

Wish him well and walk away

Make sure your contraception is effective and in your control.

this has to be a wind-up.

Save yourself a lifetime of stress and wasted opportunities as well as money and dump him now.

You've been love bombed into getting engaged after less than a year of dating. Big red flag.

Do the freedom programme as it will help you recognise abusive behaviour and red flags in relationships.

Block and delete his number. Go very slowly with the next guy you date, lunch time dates for at least a month so you've got options to bail out safely without feeling obliged to extend the time. No sex for at least 6 dates as this helps you to filter out time wasters.