AIBU for attending show with male friend?

[CrossingBoundaries007]

I've been started dating this man less than a year ago and he recently proposed.

all was well until I found out he had given out his number to 2 different women on dating sites after he had proposed to me. Living some pictures etc.

when I confronted him he said he forgot to deactivate the account. Then I told him about his recent conversations but he lied and said that he wasn't active even though I had read all their conversations.

He stopped talking to me for a week. I got pissed off and a male friend invited me to see a show with him. Normally I would decline but this time I agreed cos I wanted to go out.

Fiance is now angry with me and acting really pissed.

AIBU to think there was nothing with me going to the show with my friend?

Sling this fucking idiot in the bin. He’s deflecting on you to try and make you feel like you’ve done something as bad as him. Going to a show is NOT sending messages for a hookup, the disgusting little man.

Yeah, you’d fight for him if he was being treated badly at work, or if circumstances parted you. Women with their heads screwed on don’t fight to keep shitty men after the shitty men have tried to cheat on them. They wave them goodbye and free themselves up to meet ones that are actually decent! I’ve just seen your update that he’s divorced because he’s already cheated on his ex-wife! Absolutely unbelievable. GET RID OF THIS WANKER

What a load of shite, he's trying to turn you nuts. You'll be locked in the attic with Grace Poole guarding you next.

please dump him @CrossingBoundaries007

Hahaaaaa HE CAN FUCK OFF. He’s not sick or lost his job he’s just a wanker. What worse things could he possibly mean?? Him sleeping with other people? Because that will happen.
I notice he doesn’t seem as happy about putting up with you daring to be seen in public with a male friend. Doesn’t he realise there are worse things he would have to put up with 😂. Op, just get rid.

You’d be mad to marry this man.

Not only the potential cheating but why on Earth would you marry a man so insecure that you couldn’t go out with a male friend?

I went out to dinner with a male friend just last night. If my long-term, cohabiting DP had a problem with it that would be very much HIS problem. We choose to be together, policing who each other can be friends with is toxic.

Stop it!!

Stop saying all this weird shit and get him out of your life.

...I'd hate to read that you stayed with him.

Go to shows with friends of whatever gender whenever you like whether you’re in a relationship or not!

Men who are right for you won’t limit your friendship circle to other women

Hes a big using lying cheating bastard.
Dump and move on.He cannot be trusted. Stop dreaming of something youll never have. He’s incapable. Sorry OP. You’ll get what you want with someone better. In due course. Not him.

Come on, surely you’re not that suggestible and easily manipulated?

He’s a cheat, a liar, what more is there to say? Why are you still calling him your fiance? End it, or - proceed at your peril.

This is about the 4th thread I've read on here tonight where the man is behaving completely unacceptably and the op is asking if she's in the wrong.

FFS yes these men are awful but use some common sense and bin them. Being alone really isn't that bad.

Well you do get it. You’re either so stupid or gullible or desperate that you’ve decided to stay with him despite his shagging and lying and abuse. So do whatever you like, we can’t convince you it’ll be ok, he’s telling you otherwise

Any smart woman would run for the hills.

And wouldn't have got engaged so quickly to a horrible man.

Wow, he is quite the prick. Talk about double standards. YANBU. Dump this loser, then you can go to the show with male friends whenever you like. To marry a cretin like that would be highly unreasonable as well as self destructive. Don't listen to his bullshit, it's all manipulation to control you. Just back up the dump truck on his ass.

Good partners do not limit your friendships or try to control who you choose to socialize with either through guilt or threats.

You have the right to attend the theatre with anyone you choose to do so.

Run like your arse is on fire.

Oh please 😳 OP, run for the hills.

You cannot trust him. At all.

Where are your friends?! They should be kidnapping you and blocking him on everything - he honestly sounds the pits!

I would find the attempt to control who you spend time with to be a huge issue, more so than the potential cheating. So many red flags here

Come on @CrossingBoundaries007 .

Oooh yes, what if WORSE things happen, like he shags around, has a long affair, gives you an STI, gets another woman pregnant and when you protest he doesn’t speak to you for a month, or maybe 6 months?

Is that what he means by something worse might happen? And the kind of thing you should be able to overcome?

He sounds truly horrible,

He will never be faithful.

He thinks it is your fault if you can’t ‘overcome’ your reaction to his lack of basic respect , and he thinks he can do what he likes and sort it out with a bunch of flowers.

Get rid. Now.

Get rid of him. Now 😀

On the plus side, he's shown you who he really is before you get married. He's given you the silent treatment and is guilt tripping you over you going out with a friend (you're entitled to have friends of the opposite sex), when he's clearly still active on dating sites. Get rid and breathe a sigh of relief that this hasn't turned into an even darker, more disturbing relationship than it already is. You're worth more than that.

He’s sorry he got caught out and if you still consider marrying him you’re a fool. He doesn’t want you to go to the gig because he assumes every guy behaves like he would behave (which in itself is a red flag) but more so how dare he even complain when he literally lied to you about dating other women.

YABU if you haven't dumped this man. He's awful, and you'd be mad to continue a relationship with him.

He hasn't changed. You have concrete evidence of that. People don't spontaneously change, it takes a lot of intention and hard work. He absolutely was trying to cheat by communicating with women on a dating site and for all you know he has cheated. Who knows how many dating profiles he has or if he has shagged women he met at work? Save yourself a world of hurt and let him go. Don't bother about why he does it. He most likely doesn't have some deep, dark reason and it doesn't matter if he does. Even if he wasn't a cheater you should never, ever marry a man with controlling, unreasonably jealous tendencies. These are classic red flags for potential abuse.

The good people at Chumplady.com can help. One of Chumplady's taglines is "trust that they suck." Your fiance sucks. You deserve better.