AIBU for attending show with male friend?

[CrossingBoundaries007]

I've been started dating this man less than a year ago and he recently proposed.

all was well until I found out he had given out his number to 2 different women on dating sites after he had proposed to me. Living some pictures etc.

when I confronted him he said he forgot to deactivate the account. Then I told him about his recent conversations but he lied and said that he wasn't active even though I had read all their conversations.

He stopped talking to me for a week. I got pissed off and a male friend invited me to see a show with him. Normally I would decline but this time I agreed cos I wanted to go out.

Fiance is now angry with me and acting really pissed.

AIBU to think there was nothing with me going to the show with my friend?

Same here!

This guy is a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, and he's love bombing you.

His last marriage ended because of his awful behaviour.

Why on earth have you not already dumped this utter prick?

You would be CRAZY to marry this guy.

YABU to have not immediately dumped him upon finding the messages. Wanker.

So OP, have enough people told you to dump him, that you're now convinced and are going to do so?

OR

Are you going to believe his bullshit that he wasn't going to contact them, blah, blah, and carry on to marry him, only to find a few months after the wedding that you're back here again, asking 'why did he do this to me?'

What’s your question. This guy is a scumbag. You caught him out but he’s going to blame you for what. He’s disgusting. This won’t get better. If he’s treating you like this before you’re married, you are in for a horrible life so move on. Get rid of this scum of the earth. He’s not for you.

If you don't know to bin this guy, then gey some help

You’re asking the wrong question

Here are some questions to consider:

• How do you feel right now? How do you feel knowing that you may feel this way several more times in the future?
• Do you feel like you can openly talk about these issues without either of you getting defensive?
• What does marriage mean to you? Is it a lifelong, monotonous commitment to each other or is it just a legal connection?

My DH comes home from work excited to see me and DC each night. We can talk openly about our insecurities and hurts with it (usually) not turning into an argument. We are honest with our failings, quick to acknowledge when we've stuff up, and quick to forgive. He's amazing, but he's not some rare gem of a man - this should just be the standard of a good partner and the type of partner that all people deserve. Never let a partner make you think otherwise.

It may be hard thinking you've "wasted time" on a relationship. But if you settle for sub-par, then eventually your love and passion for life will be chipped away at and you'll waste years were you could have found happiness.

No a smart woman would have already dumped him.

What is wrong with you? How are you not telling him to fuck off with that nonsense? He’s at least attempting to cheat on you and has essentially told you that he will eventually cheat on you and you will be expected to ‘fight’ for your relationship. And you still haven’t broken up with him.

If you stay with him, you deserve what you get, tbh. At a certain point, you have to take responsibility for the garbage you allow in your life.

A smart woman would realise that if she accepts this behaviour now, that worse WILL follow as she'd be indirectly telling him that she'd accept him cheating. If he cared he wouldn't be giving other women his number.

I'd bet the "worse" things he's referring to are him fully cheating and getting caught!

This ^

This has miserable life written all over it. Walk away now before children are involved.

If you want a great life , don’t marry this man .

What don’t you get?

He has you in the bag so now he is looking for the next challenge

Please don't say you're actually going to marry him??

So if the friend you went out with had been female would he still have a problem, definitely dump him, you hardly know him after one year

This.

I voted YABU fir nit binning off your fiance who will cause you s life if misery and STI checks. I'd advise you to block, delete and get tested

I hear everyone loud and clear. I think I needed my head to catch up with my heart.

The funny part is that he has remained in very close contact with one of his exes throughout our relationship, telling me they are just friends. I never stressed him out over it.

Wait, I don’t really care about whether YABU! You aren’t, for what it’s worth!

However, this dude has cheated on you. Throw him back!

Why would it be an issue for you to go out with a male friend? Does he not let you?

yes you should end it, he’s chatting to other women on dating sites while engaged to you. He will cheat , you can’t trust him.

A smart woman would have dumped him when she found those messages, be that woman op!

Hi OP

Do not get caught up in the fantasy of engagement and marriage! He is showing you who he is now, don't marry him and get yourself into a messy situation when you have to divorce him for his cheating ways!!

You have been thrown a lifeline. Please take it and dump him!!

What exactly does that look like?

Does he want you to fight the women he is chatting to or is it that he wants you to do the Pick Me Dance

What happens if you said you couldn’t be arsed. There is never going to be a marriage.

He is getting ahead of himself

That is master manipulation, plus gaslighting; he is toxic, OP. I was with an abusive partner for a decade, and this is exactly the kind of word salad he would throw at me.