Partnees ex wants to take child to America to live.

[Jamaisy82]

My partner in which we have a two year old child together has another daughter from a previous relationship who is 8. He plays an active role in her life and have a great relationship and has been there since day one and ever since. He used to have her one week on one week off and now it's every weekend as the ex changed this. She now has a new partner who lives in America and wants to take his daughter there to live, obviously my partner has said no as this means he would never see her. She is now seeking full custody of his daughter and now he has to go to court. Has anyone been though similar. My partner is so depressed through this he's a really good guy and it's sad she would do this to him for her own selfish needs.

@Jamaisy82 I really hope your partner is successful in keeping his relationship with his daughter.

It must be a stressful process, but he's doing all the right things in maintaining contact and employing lawyers. 3/7 is still a significant amount of contact, so I hope it's all taken into account 🤞🏾.

OP, your DP needs to get an urgent Prohibited Stsps Order to stop the mum from taking the child out of the country whilst you wait for a Court date. You can also ask for a Lives With Order when you get to Court. Don't worry about ex making up stories, Family Court Judges are used to it. It's down to her to provide evidence of the allegations not down to him to prove his innocence in Family Court and the Judge will only be interested in the best interests of the child which isn't leaving behind regular contact with her father and other family members to move somewhere she's never been and to live with someone she's never met but plays on the Xbox with once a week!

Yes he has all messages, emails everything. He has proof of it all and how it switched. He has sent all these to solicitors. Everything she has said there is no proof of as isn't true.

Not true. They go through a process that involves evaluation of their education, application for state licensure, they have to take the NCLEX, and get the right visa. It is time consuming and depending on the location and her job experience, she might not get a job or be working long term care.

Has your partner's daughter even met this guy? Have they lived together at some point? This is scary to contemplate possible ramifications. Good luck to you guys

He didn't lose it, it was discussed between them, that he would have her Fri sat and sun instead of whole week on and off as the mother said it was disruptive for school etc swapping house so often and this was final desision. This was only recently.

Are her qualifications valid in the U.S? An acquantance of mine had to repeat her medical residency in the U.S. to requalify as a U.S. doctor. It took 2 years. Luckily her American husband was ok financially to support her.

She has met him twice I think, once when she went over there and when he has came here.we know nothing but his name and are expected to just let her live with basically a stranger who could be anyone? The mother has been a few times and each times his daughter has stayed with her father. She has really bad attendance at school now she is stayed with her mother being late around 9 times in a few months even though she lives around corner she is also off alot without her father being told. He has contacted the school for records and they have sent these to him so is knows hen she is off or late etc. As she was never late or absent when he had her.

My freind took her son to the US with new partner.
Basically ended up in court. Court saw no good reason to stop the move and granted the child to live with the mother overseas as there was no detriment to the childs life to move and it was deemed best for the child to live with the mother primarily. I think she had to show how she would provide for the child overseas, housing, job, private school etc as evidence to show how it was in the best interests.

Arrangements were that the child must come back for several weeks a year in the holidays and mother had to fly back and forth with the child until theybwere about 11 and could fly alone assisted by the airline.

100% it is selfish when she is moving 5+ hours away on a plane. Wait until DC leaves home and then move if you really want to go. You make certain commitments on having a child, and have to realise some things are 'reasonable' and some things are not - this is not - moving a few hours drive away at most. Especially if the dad see's DC regurlary

Yes think this is what he's worried about happening. It will devastated him like. He's doing everything he can. Shame when a good father is around and it could be stopped.

I think all he can do is go to court and fight his corner. They will likely grant custody to the current primaty caregiver though.

This.

She’s being really unfair. It’s not fair of her to move her dd away from her (good, loving, involved) father.

Not necessarily if he has a good relationship with the child. I mean, the mother can go but the Courts will decide what is in the best interests of the child and thats not always staying with the mother

Can partner's lawyer get a criminal history check for this guy in his location and run a sex offender check?

How is she going to provide for child and herself? Is she moving her child in with a virtual stranger?

What happens if she and partner breakup?

Have you got evidence you could show the court about her lying to dd about having relatives over there, or the invented moving date, or other signs that she's unstable?

Sounds like dd would be better off living with you full time if possuble.

O god please don’t listen to this scare moungering, this is very very unlikely to happen. It is really not that easy to get a green card. My best friend is American, it took her and her husband years to get his, they are both highly educated professional’s and that was pre Trump and his anti immigration cronies.

I would be telling your DP to take a breath and not panic. It is highly unlikely she will get anywhere at all with this. As others have stated there are women from other countries not allowed to return home to their own countries because they aren’t allowed to remove their children from their fathers and women not allowed to moved within the UK for the same reason.

youve mentioned that the mother has MH issues and your DP hasn’t pushed in the past to keep her happy, I would be throwing this out of the window now and just quietly going for full custody to protect his dd as by the sounds of it he has been the one constant stable in her life.

Ignore the games the ex is playing, they are just that games. Try and get your DP to ignore the stuff she’s saying, he knows the truth, his solicitor can present the truth too. I would also be making sure the courts know about the lies she’s telling the child and her effecting the child’s mental health. I’d probably encourage the solicitor to highlight to the courts how immigrants are being arrested on arriving in the us and children being ripped away from parents and put in detention centres, yes westerners too.

Once you have full custody you can work on getting his dd the support she needs to unravel the mess her mothers made.

I would remove her passport while things are ongoing...

Are you happy and able to have the child full-time?

The reality is that he can't stop his ex going, but he can stop her taking their child. Obviously if she chooses to go regardless, he'll have to parent full-time.

it's sad she would do this to him for her own selfish needs

I don't necessarily agree with her seeking to move her child abroad with a new partner. However, things like this really get my back up. Your partner has moved on, with you, and is presumably living a happy life. Are you calling him selfish? Or is it just her? Wanting to be happy and settled with a partner works both ways.

As others have said, he needs to apply for a prohibited steps order to stop his daughter being taken out of the country. Technically he doesn't need one if he has PR as his ex cannot take his daughter out of the country without his consent, but having a PSO emphasises this.

I would be very surprised if she gets an order for the child to live with her full time. Given the history, he stands a better chance of getting an order returning it to 50/50 than she has of getting the order she wants.

Regarding moving to the USA, the courts will consider what is in his daughter's best interests. A move that leaves her with no contact with her father will not be acceptable. At a minimum, before allowing your partner's ex to move to the USA with her the courts would want to be happy that the move has been thought through properly, including arrangements for ongoing contact .

Your partner needs to see a lawyer ASAP if he hasn't already done so. On the information you've given here, I think there is a good chance your partner would be able to prevent his ex moving their daughter to the USA.

Unless the father agrees to the move, the mother needs to issue a "Leave to Remove" application in the family court. I was a family lawyer with experience in these. If she takes without the father's permission, this is considered abduction in the eyes of the family court and the mother could be arrested upon return to the UK. Leave to Remove cases are difficult but not impossible to be successful. A stable family unit with the new partner would be to her advantage compared to her just wanting to move alone. Parent applying has to show it's in the child's best interests to move. Mother has to build a very strong case including a plan for how relationship with parent left behind will be encouraged. Essentially the pros to the child must outweigh the cons of uprooting. At 8 years, the child is likely to be on the cusp of where the court will give much weight to their views but a court appointed social worker would spend time with the parents and child and would make a recommendation which the judge will take into account along with evidence from the parents. Suggest to see a good mediator.

Selfish is moving to another country with someone she has just met in which she has no ties to away from her family. He has not done this.

This. She will almost definitely have to marry her boyfriend first, in order to even start the steps towards obtaining a spousal visa. Then he has to prove he earns enough to support her and her child in the USA. The process is long and complicated - takes at least 18 months, involving medicals and multiple trips to the US embassy in London - and that was before Trump stepped in and changed the rules!

He needs to make sure he’s clear in his argument that the reason he accepted the change was because discussion was that was in the child’s best interest.

What does the daughter want. If its a better life housing and everything then most likely will be approved.