To think “non-binary” is becoming a fashion statement for some people rather than a true identity?

[ByPoliteExpert]

Not saying it’s not real but the aestheticisation of it is creeping in.

im genuinely interested to understand. I absolutely don’t understand it. I don’t know how to understand it as no explanation makes sense

for instance, you say your child identified as NB and changed their name. What is a NB name? It can’t be a unisex name as that would be identifiable with either a male or a female so what could a NB be? Why would being NB require a name change to start with?

The OP reminds me of those people who you see on Billboard Chris’s videos, where he asked them what gender is or what trans is, and half an hour later they’re still waffling on, unable to even explain it to themselves let alone anyone else.

Two sexes, any amount of genders.

It is not harmless though.

When male people access female single sex provisions they are very likely to be causing harm.

My reply meant to quote this.

Two sexes.

@AllProperTeaIsTheft this was explained by @MeDepresso above

• her son is autistic, experienced anxiety and depression, referred to CAMHS and given meds, was affirmed by school as trans with a girl’s name, had sensible parents who followed watchful waiting over medical transition, and by his 20s pulled back from saying he was a transwoman into saying nonbinary.

That seems a fairly positive outcome when that alternative was medicalising the child and pumping him full of puberty blockers or opposite sex hormones.

Perhaps we should ask Shania Twain

No, the research evidence I have seen amongst school children at least, is that the children identifying as non-binary have far worse mental health, emotional health and far higher risky health behaviours across every category than other students. This would suggest that the most troubled and vulnerable youngsters are adopting it as an identity.

It’s all so hideously capitalist, isn’t it? Individualism, you can be what you believe yourself to be yadda yadda yadda.

No, you can’t. You can only be what you are. How you interpret that reality is up to you, but it doesn’t change anything in material reality. You’re still the same sex you were at conception. You’re still the same age that the passage of time makes you.

A person’s gender identity might matter to them internally, but to everyone else it’s no more significant than their favourite colour or their star sign.

At least astrology is mildly entertaining.

‘It’s not always about rejecting being a man or a woman out of discomfort with stereotypes, it can also be about having an internal sense of self that exists outside that structure altogether.’

well, I call that my soul. An internal (? Sense of? ) self which is non corporeal. Although the structure that the soul exists ‘outside of’ comprises a lot more than just sex/ gender, it involves philosophy, morality and the exercise - or at least attempt - of virtue. To confine your internal establishment to sex / gender seems rather to miss out on other opportunities .

for instance, you say your child identified as NB and changed their name. What is a NB name? It can’t be a unisex name as that would be identifiable with either a male or a female so what could a NB be? Why would being NB require a name change to start with?

Very often it seems to be a common noun or adjective, like Grin.

Exactly. Every person is male or female, most people are not 100% feminine or masculine though

I'm not sure what it even means, really. I thought it meant that you just don't conform to the gender norms for your sex but I don't know that that requires a label so I'm not sure.

Same with polysexual. I get that is meant to mean that the person is attracted to people irrespective of their sex, but since there are only two sexes, I'm not sure why bisexual doesn't work? The vast majority of people have one of two types of genitals, so "bi," is appropriate, I would think.

And so somebody who considers themselves non-binary in Culture A may be a woman in Culture B and a man in Culture C without anything about them (internally or externally) changing.

Because gender identity it is purely to do with each individual's perception of themselves within the context in which they live.

Is that correct?

Plus there's Pansexual as well

I was about talking about non binary.

It was definitely a trend when my kids started secondary school 4-5 years ago, everyone seemed to be this that or the other. What I found worrying is the other end of it, the toxic masculinity a'la Tate

Yes, all a bit “look at me, I’m special” 🙄

Quite - If there was a law enacted tomorrow where no one was allowed to wear any clothes or make up and we had to walk around as buff as the day we were born - how would I know who was non-binary?

Because they'll "feel it" 😉

Yes. Male people with any transgender identity get to choose the provisions they feel are for them. So a male person who is NB might choose female single sex toilets / changing rooms etc.

(note: in the UK anything stated to be for female people eg toilets SHOULD be single sex , but we have seen policies such as above for years and they are active in other parts of the world)

Ah - I missed that. Thanks @MoistVonL (I like the username!) and apologies, @MeDepresso - it sounds like that was a positive step under the circumstances.

Thanks, @AllProperTeaIsTheft . I’ve had it a bit long now and should have retired it a few weeks ago but I’m very attached to it.

My brother was a dog for a bit....

I don't know if your post is intended to be a "gotcha" but DC's birth name was a traditionally male one. Their first trans name was a feminine version of it. They then changed that (at school at home we never used these names) to another female name, as they felt they needed one further away from their original male name to stop people accidentally using it.

When they told us about identifying as NB it was a new name. I don't want to say exactly what it is, but a bit a long the lines of Swampy, Ploy, Spree.

I'm aware whatever answers I give will not satisfy you, but I'm just giving an account of what happened with my DC and that I don't believe them to be narcissistic nor attention-seeking, as is the general consensus on this thread.