To think £130 a month isn't worth the aggro

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

I am currently acting up into a management role in local government. I'm managing a small team and one of the team members is an absolute nightmare. She has twice been on a PIP for poor performance BUT she refuses to acknowledge that her performance is below standard.

She argues with me over every little thing, sends countless emails picking fault with everything I do and is currently pursuing a grievance against me for allegedly being unsupportive of her.

I appreciate there are two sides to every story, and that she has every right to raise issues. However, the stress she is causing me is immense. Other team members are also complaining about her behaviour and one of my high performing staff members is threatening to resign because they can't stand working with her.

I realised last week that, after tax, I only earn £120 per month more for this role than I would in my substantive post.

AIBU to think that I really don't need this hassle and I'd rather forego the £1440 per year and have a more straightforward life at work? I really liked my old team and my old manager and think I could slot back in but it feels like I've failed.

Life’s too short.

What help/support are you getting from your line manager ?

Not a lot. She keeps referring me to HR who are fairly useless

I had almost exactly the same situation about ten years ago. The nightmare woman was fired, raised a grievance and we ended up having to settle. Private sector though.

If she's been on multiple PIPs has her performance improved temporarily for her to pass the PIP? Can't you find grounds for dismissal?

I kept records of everything including abusive text messages she used to send me. She made my life hell. If I saw her on fire in the street I wouldn't spit on her. It was such a bad time I think I've blocked it out!

HOWEVER. I ended up getting promoted a few times quite quickly after and was then on a good trajectory and am now a high earner... the experience taught me a lot in a way. So maybe it's worth sticking it out if you can see an end in sight?

@Mydadsbirthday thanks for your post. Unfortunately in the public sector it's almost impossible to fire someone unless they've done something seriously wrong.

She hasn't ever sent me abusive texts, but she queries/undermines my authority over everything. It is exhausting.

She's been on two PIPs and has improved enough to have them closed. But she then reverts to previous poor performance.

I'm just not sure about extra £30 per week is worth it. DH jokingly says we can save that much on the additional alcohol I need from managing her which isn't far from the truth.

Life is short .. you know op what you need to do.

Why do you think you’re not the victim of bullying and harassment (and insubordination) just because you’re her line manager.

Step down by all means. Personally I would document the shit out of it and start making comments about anxiety and mental health (yours) to line manager and HR due to the individuals behaviour and not being supported to manage it.

Blow HR, if you're acting up then it's up to her to support, mentor you in your 'temporary' promotion. Even if it was your permanent grade she should still be supporting you.
In my view of course.... Coming from a Civil Service as opposed to LA background but they shouldn't be that different.

This. See above my post which crossed this.

Yep I’d definitely go back to the job I was happy in. The money definitely isn’t worth it!

100% step back and relax. It sounds horrendous and really not enough to cover all the botox you'll need to get rid of the stress wrinkles. Let someone else deal with her, she sounds awful.

@AnnaQuayInTheUk were both PIPs while yiu’ve managed her or is it historic (ie clear to others she has form)?

This OP. Bullying isn't just top down, and you're acting up anyway so they need to support you. You need to keep records of all the undermining, etc.

Have you tried raising a grievance about her? Interested as something similar is happening to me at work.

It sounds horrific. You need support to deal with this, and if you’re not going to get it then ask to step back-and tell them why you’re doing so.

I was going to say it isn’t worth it until I read @Mydadsbirthday post. Do you think persevering will put you in a good position for promotion? That, to me, would be the only reason to continue.

If you decide to stand down from this job, don’t think of it as failure. You’ve tried something new which is a success in itself, but found it wasn’t suitable for you. That isn’t failure.

I hope things work out for you whatever you decide

That’s exactly what I would do. I wouldn’t let someone undermine me lying down.

It's not worth it.

I'm in line for promotion but probably not going to take it as it's not worth the extra stress and responsibility for very little additional income. I used to be very career minded but my perspective has changed and the first post nailed it - life's too short.

This is pretty much why I’ve never become a manager. However you should have support from the manager above you with this and help from HR yourself

Nails it

Sorry not to be more helpful, but I love, love, love your user name.

Right... now... ahhaha

No it's not. It's too long to spend it doing things that make you unhappy.

Use your temporary management post to job search into a higher paid senior role elsewhere. Use it as a springboard to elevate yourself upwards salary wise into another post.

Yeah and I mean looking at the longer term, treat this as a stepping stone, use the experience to push yourself forward and build resilience, if you feel you're strong enough and you're ambitious. Not everyone is. You don't have to make yourself miserable but if you look at it another way you may as well try to gain from it. That said, if there's no end in sight and you can't fire her I don't know what the answer is; but you could complain about HER harassment of you.

I was just thinking this is why I’m so glad I didn’t get the post above mine - so much more shit for about £50 a month.

There must be a next stage beyond PIP. I suppose I would poke around the system to find someone in HR who knows what it is. I’ve been involved in sacking people in the NHS so it’s a myth that it can’t be done, but it does take persistence and a senior with guts (my Trust was run by a hard as nails HR director, she was terrifying).