To think £130 a month isn't worth the aggro

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

I am currently acting up into a management role in local government. I'm managing a small team and one of the team members is an absolute nightmare. She has twice been on a PIP for poor performance BUT she refuses to acknowledge that her performance is below standard.

She argues with me over every little thing, sends countless emails picking fault with everything I do and is currently pursuing a grievance against me for allegedly being unsupportive of her.

I appreciate there are two sides to every story, and that she has every right to raise issues. However, the stress she is causing me is immense. Other team members are also complaining about her behaviour and one of my high performing staff members is threatening to resign because they can't stand working with her.

I realised last week that, after tax, I only earn £120 per month more for this role than I would in my substantive post.

AIBU to think that I really don't need this hassle and I'd rather forego the £1440 per year and have a more straightforward life at work? I really liked my old team and my old manager and think I could slot back in but it feels like I've failed.

I had similar and eventually neither of us could work with each other. If you want promotion stick it out, but for 30 extra quid, I’d be looking somewhere else for the promotion, cheap bastards

Why are some people such a bloody nightmare?

Sounds like this colleague puts more energy into preempting why she shouldn’t be fired and documenting that everyone is out to get her instead of doing the job in hand. Very dangerous, very calculated.

I’d keep the additional salary and document to my manager the myriad ways this person isn’t manageable. This isn’t news if she’s been on two PIPs… they’re clearly only temporary reprieves. in short, I’d make this person the managers problem, especially if as you say other colleagues are threatening to leave. You and the organisation will soon have a much larger attrition problem. Make them see the urgency - if we can’t solve a problem like a Maria we will have Fred leaving, me stepping down as manager, Jane refusing to work on project xyz….

It’s not worth the hassle for that small salary change (can you negotiate?) but I do think at least you’ve got a voice and a seat at the table, and this person doesn’t deserve to derail your future career progression!

Nah. It's not failure to recognise when something isn't worth it.

Because they want money for nothing! Most people are fine at work. Then you have grifters like this

I agree that life is too short etc., but just wanted to point out that the more senior role will likely be better for your career in the long run (even this experience of managing someone difficult is beneficial for that). If you switch jobs you will be able to command a higher salary even if you're doing a lateral move as a manager in one role to a manager in another. Of course that isn't everything, and definitely not worth losing your mental health over, but it's worth thinking about your life beyond this job and into the next one.

Completely get it OP. CS myself and same situation. It depends on whether this is an interim step up to the next level or long term. If long term, knock it on the head now and go back to your substantive role. I’ve given myself 3 months, if no change I’ll be doing the same.

First post nails it!

My DH’s best mate had a very similar situation in the public sector. The employee eventually lodged a grievance complaint against him, which was the start of 2 years of hell. He started losing hair from the stress, got a stomach ulcer… just horrendous. The complaint was eventually thrown out, but he says that he regrets not just stepping down from the role as soon as this guy started to get difficult.

Get out while you can OP, life’s too short. You can make that much money per week with a decent side hustle.

I left a senior role in public service due to the stress involved in managing a particularly challenging staff member.
Kept me awake at night and I consider myself to be a strong person.
Sadly, there are difficult people in most organisations in varying extremes.
That's why a lot of people choose to stay away from management roles.
I fully appreciate that there are hardworking, straightforward people also and I have been fortunate to have worked with and managed these also.
Good luck OP
Stepping down is a sign of strength, not weakness

Of course she can be fired, but it needs to be done legally. I’d make sure I did it.

absolutely not worth it.

education is just as bad.

Not worth it at all. Sounds frustrating and a hopeless situation. Just step down and enjoy life at work again. Let someone else step up. NB: they will also hate it.

You haven't failed, you've been put in a situation without the support you need to succeed.

Do what you need to do -- don't burn out, prioritising your own mental health is important.

I was in your position last year although I was getting an extra £400/mo. Still not worth the stress of dealing with someone like this. In my case the difficult person did actually work pretty hard, just only on the things they wanted to (which weren’t the things they should have been doing). I wasn’t their line manager but did direct their work and they didn’t like that I’d been promoted from their level. Refused to speak to me, except to undermine me in team meetings.

I also decided that life was too short for that kind of shit and stepped down. No regrets. The difficult person should have been fired years ago but we are also public sector and HR told us this person hadn’t done enough to get the sack. I debated raising a grievance but couldn’t face the process/stress.

Thanks everyone, really helpful to hear your thoughts.

@JurgenKloppsTeeth like you, my team member works hard but only on what she wants to do. She doesn't have a strategic view but focuses in on minutiae. It's so frustrating.

Do it OP. I realised my monthly increase split over each working day would buy me something like a sandwich. A sandwich for dealing with a load of shit every day, hundreds more emails every week and probably four times as many meetings.

I actually think, OP, there’s something so powerful and admirable in my view about someone having the decisiveness to walk away from something that is making us unhappy.

Management is not for everyone- mostly it is dealing with problems of one sort or another and is inherently more stress than simply delivering on a role. It is absolutely okay if this isn’t for you, but having one or more problematic employees is not unusual. Typically 1-2 people on my team taking up 80% of my time and mental energy at any given point in time- thankfully able to manage people out or manage people on in most instances so it isn’t the same people all the time.

If you stay on will you move up increments though and what is the difference between the highest grade in the current role compared to your previous? She sounds a complete pita. I work in local government and it's ridiculous they just never get rid of the worst people.

Agree with this.

Don't let her force you out. Document everything, keep detailed notes, stick to policy and procedure to the letter and if you're not sure about something get advice from HR. Stick to your guns and show her you're no pushover.

YANBU

But make sure you learn from your mistake.

I work for my local council and over the years I've acted up a few times and had a couple of honorariums.

On every occasion, I've asked point blank how much extra money I'd be taking home in my wage packet each month, and made my decision accordingly.

My manager has always worked it out for me.

Sometimes it's worth the extra effort and sometimes it's definitely not.

You need specific hardcore evidence to sack someone in the public sector. I was involved with a case where a woman had run her husbands business from her desk. All of his documents with time stamps when they were accessed were on her PC, she was sacked.

Is she just a PITA or has there ever been suspicion of wrong doing that would have an actual paper trail or more specifically an IT trail.

If HR are so useless and it's impossible to fire someone in PS (which I agree with), can you try just being a bit of a dick back? Nothing too extreme or that she can prove, or complain about without sounding completely petty and insane. Just a raised eyebrow here, slight smirk when she's talking there.

Try to completely step back and remove all emotion out of it. If she starts querying your decisions just interrupt her and go 'No Jane, I've told you what I want to do, while there is a time and a place for collaboration in this instance I am the manager, this is my decision.'
She tries again, just 'NO JANE,' quite loudly. Or just sit in silence until she's finished talking, go 'Hmm.' Or 'That's an...interesting point Jane,' in a tone that sounds like 'you utter imbecile.' And then carry on as before.

Just delete all her emails and don't reply to them, or just set it to auto respond something like, 'your comments have been noted.'

What would happen if you went on sick and on your return to work said it was the stress from her behaviour and lack of support from HR and your manager that caused it, and unless something is put in place it will probably happen again? You might find they suddenly start caring a bit more when they're losing money to staff sickness and they've got it in black and white their actions are contributory.