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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think hairdressers secretly love hearing your business and problems?

52 replies

SnipTealDrama · 24/06/2025 19:40

It sometimes feels like they’re not just doing your hair, they’re gathering intel. I get that chatting is part of the experience for some but occasionally it feels like they’re enjoying the drama more than they let on. AIBU to find it intrusive?

OP posts:
ConstantIllness · 24/06/2025 19:42

I think you're being ridiculous to lump all hairdressers together. I bet there's a more than a few who are bored stupid by their client's inane shite. I don't chat to mine at all and I get the impression it's a huge relief.

ConfusedSloth · 24/06/2025 19:43

I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever divulged anything interesting enough be considered “intel”. My holiday plans aren’t exactly nuclear secrets…

Some probably do enjoy hearing about other people’s lives, some probably don’t. I don’t extent any let it linger in their mind beyond the next appointment.

Bluevelvetsofa · 24/06/2025 19:45

Mine likes to tell me about his house, dogs, husband, garden, cooking, clothes and holidays

12bucklemyshoethree4 · 24/06/2025 19:49

My ds loves a chinwag with his hair dresser.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 24/06/2025 19:51
Reaction Gif GIF by MOODMAN

Yabu tbh 😭😭

I am a gossip lover. Spill the tea girl!

SaturdayDream · 24/06/2025 19:52

I stopped telling any hair or beauty salon anything. If they ask a question I keep it very vague.

Reason being in the past I have felt absolutely interrogated. The last straw was the time I mentioned in passing that I was moving, this sent them on an absolute barrage of how could I afford it, they can’t, their daughger can’t. It was like a bucket of shit was being thrown at me.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 24/06/2025 19:55

No, it is part of the training unfortunately. Imagine having to remember every clients personal issues so you can ask how are at the next appointment. Draining.

ReproachfulOwl · 24/06/2025 19:57

I think you might be exaggerating the interest of what Sandra said to Lisa about Abi or whether Eileen and Nigel are going to Crete or the Costa Brava to anyone else.

Bridport · 24/06/2025 19:58

My hairdresser and I just chat about day to day stuff like dogs and allotments.

cyvguhb · 24/06/2025 19:59

Why would it be a secret, do hairdressers pretend they aren't interested in your life?

Its not like they put the thumbscrews on to make you spill, only tell them what you want to tell them

IrritatableandHot · 24/06/2025 20:03

I think they are trained to do it, aren't they? They're probably bored stiff but have got good at sounding interested.
I find if I keep my eyes closed, they don't talk to me. Maybe there's a code!

SnipTealDrama · 24/06/2025 20:05

cyvguhb · 24/06/2025 19:59

Why would it be a secret, do hairdressers pretend they aren't interested in your life?

Its not like they put the thumbscrews on to make you spill, only tell them what you want to tell them

I get that it’s up to each of us how much we share. I guess what I meant is sometimes it feels like they lean in a little when the story gets juicy or ask follow-up questions in a way that’s more than just polite small talk. Maybe “secretly” wasn’t the right word, it just occasionally gives me the impression they’re enjoying the gossip more than they let on.

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 24/06/2025 20:09

My hairdresser is the very definition of A Gossip. But the consequences are the gossip is now in short supply because she can’t be trusted

SnipTealDrama · 24/06/2025 20:10

IrritatableandHot · 24/06/2025 20:03

I think they are trained to do it, aren't they? They're probably bored stiff but have got good at sounding interested.
I find if I keep my eyes closed, they don't talk to me. Maybe there's a code!

Haha I love this - like the unspoken salon code: eyes shut = silent mode activated. I wouldn’t be surprised if they do get training in the art of gentle interrogation. It’s always “So… are you seeing anyone right now?” just as they pick up the scissors 🙃

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 24/06/2025 20:12

Mine won’t shut up about herself. I feel like she should pay me for the therapy!

Wintersgirl · 24/06/2025 20:14

I just do a quick polite chit chat but I kind of give out the message that I don't want to spend the whole time yacking, I love going to the hairdresser for time with my thoughts and relaxation...

OtterlyMad · 24/06/2025 20:14

I must be very boring because I get a lot more “intel” from my hairdresser than she gets from
me!

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 24/06/2025 20:15

Screamingabdabz · 24/06/2025 20:12

Mine won’t shut up about herself. I feel like she should pay me for the therapy!

In recent years mine has gone from Local Gossip to needing an Agony Aunt definitely

Wintersgirl · 24/06/2025 20:26

Screamingabdabz · 24/06/2025 20:12

Mine won’t shut up about herself. I feel like she should pay me for the therapy!

Oh no, I couldn't bear that, luckily mine knows that I don't like chatting much, I did have one hairdresser who just didn't stop talking all the way through it was exhausting to be honest, but most of them can read the signs on wether the client likes to talk or not..

dotdotdotdash · 24/06/2025 20:40

I do therapy for my hairdresser too @EineReiseDurchDieZeit I don’t mind at all though. They are called salons… isn’t that a term for a place to get together and converse?

bobbycock79 · 24/06/2025 20:48

I no longer use my local hairdresser as she is absolutely notorious for coaxing gossip from clients and causing mischief by telling others. There has been some serious fallout and im surprised she has any customers left. I think some hairdressers absolutely love exploiting customers feeling relaxed and seeing them as a confidante

tinyspiny · 24/06/2025 20:50

Ours doesn’t she likes telling us all about her problems , of which there are many .

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 24/06/2025 20:56

Maybe it's like Scientology, they lure you into telling your secrets, to have something over you if you try and leave for another hairdresser or do your own hair 😆

SquishedMallow · 24/06/2025 20:57

Going to the hairdresser is one of the things I despise in life. But unfortunately I like having my hair coloured one that isn't my natural colour and blonde is very hard to get right on your own (believe me I've tried ).

I'm yet to meet a hairdresser I trust or click with. I hate to be judgemental but they're often the 'love island watchers' personality wise and whilst there's nothing wrong with that: it's not me and I end up feeling like I'm weird and feel awkward.

The ones I've had have all been a bit ... 'rough' I know that's a 'cow' thing to say but I don't know how to put it better. And they're never quiet/shy.

I think some of it is probably a me problem to be honest 😁

I've heard so many times the hairdressers bitching and slagging off clients when they've walked out the door and then give the 'oh but not you, you're lovely hun' .... Yeh, course.... 🙄

So yeh, I do think you're correct. Definitely a bitchy breed in my opinion unfortunately

TwinkleToes2222 · 24/06/2025 20:58

My hairdresser is very nice but always looks as though she wishes she hadn't asked. I often look the same after she has told me what's going on in her life. We learn a great deal about perspective talking to each other.