Holiday photos on Facebook whilst off sick

[TeaAndBrie]

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

It seems as if those in the public sector can take sick leave with no trouble. It’s “management’s problem”. Now imagine if you have a small business. An employee decides they are mentally unwell and gets signed off. And then the business owner and the small number of employees see that person posting jolly holiday photos. I don’t think they will be thrilled.

If you were off sick with a broken leg you’d be expected to work from home if possible. My cousin with cancer works from home and she is undergoing chemotherapy. It seems that mental health issues that are not so bad that you can travel and negotiate planes etc should not be in a special “can’t touch me” category.

There are a whole lot of people on here avoiding those asking about work place stress.

I would love to know how these people who think it’s wrong to be signed off work for mental health issues would deal with staying at work in an office of 20 plus people and a line manager who made their life a misery through bullying at work without taking time off.

FWIW my union representative was the one who insisted a stay signed off until a resolution was reached. Which quite frankly was the best advice he could have given me.

As I said earlier I was redeployed in the end (easier to move me than 20 odd other people) and have not had any more time off for stress/anxiety/mental health.

'As I said earlier I was redeployed in the end (easier to move me than 20 odd other people) and have not had any more time off for stress/anxiety/mental health.'

Yes I agree. Work place issues are usually resolved by addressing and escalating the issue or a different role. Long term sick doesn't solve the problem.

But that’s my point, I had 4 months off sick so definitely long term sick leave, whilst my employers dealt with the situation.

Yes I did have a holiday during this time, yes my employers were aware. But my stress at work did not affect my ability to holiday.

@XenoBitch I’m sorry your experience was nasty, but this thread wasn’t about how people are treated when they are off sick, it’s about whether it’s bad form to post joyous holiday snaps on social media that can be seen by the people who are covering your work.

I think she is allowed to go on holiday, but I do think posting about it on social media is a bit tone deaf. But then again, if feel guilty if I go to pharmacy when I'm on sick leave 😅

As someone who has experience in employment tribunal and seen several successful cases regarding long term sick (ex)employees going on holidays and then being disciplined to the point of being fired - your oversimplification and lack of any sort of awareness of their personal circumstances AND your complete lack of medical education is a VERY thin line. I would keep right out of it and if your boss decides they are also not happy about this - they should speak to an employment lawyer first. All it takes is a letter from a GP or medical evidence (not hard to obtain from specialists) that a holiday or a hobby or XYZ is recommended for said illness. Its frankly none of your or your bosses business what this person is doing past them not doing any full time paid work and that they have provided the medical evidence required to qualify as "long term sick". If they have provided that they are "long term sick" and your personal judgement is frankly a waste of your time and of no consequence to anything.

We’re all allowed to contribute to the discussion sooty. Did OP say her colleague had been admitted to a psych ward recently? Or are you projecting your situation?

I think it is a valid question to ask. Serious mental health problems aren’t solved with 7 days in the sun. People need to seek treatment. You did, so your situation is different.

We’ve all had our lived experiences of suicide attempts, sectioning and crisis dismissed roundly on this thread so people are naturally sensitive.

That’s fair enough. No one should be dismissing or minimising people’s experiences of mental health issues. It’s hard enough as it is.

I wasn’t trying to offend anyone. I just meant that if I were managing someone who was off work with mental health issues for 4 months, I’d be expecting them to be actively seeking treatment whilst off.

Would a manager even be privy to what treatments an employee is having?

When I was off long term sick, I had appointments with Occupational Health, where such things were discussed. But all they would tell my manager was that I was still unfit to work.
One doctor in OC did give my manager detailed info about me and what my struggles were, and I reported that to HR as it was not allowed. I never saw that doctor again.

Put like that it sounds more reasonable and I'm sorry I snapped at you, though I take the point @XenoBitch makes about the OH doctor too.

In my case I was already under treatment as I got sicker and sicker while continuing to work, and my employers actively kept on turning the screws. My GP issued sick notes which I tore up because I couldn't see that I was ill. When I said that I intended to kill myself I was sectioned within days. I remember very little about the next few weeks, and the ECT wiped out whole parts of my memory of the previous few months - I never regained it. When I got out of hospital I went on a prebooked holiday ( in the school holidays, when I'd have been off work anyway) to the Netherlands to try to recover a bit. My very not compassionate ex husband told me that I was like a "bag lady" on my discharge from hospital, and occupational health deemed me unfit to return for months.
When I returned to work everyone knew why I'd been off, and the bullying intensified. I lasted just over a year before I had to leave.

That’s absolutely awful treatment by your workplace and your ex husband. They clearly lacked empathy and understanding - no one chooses to be ill and certainly not suicidal.

If a colleague of mine was sectioned, I’d be fully supportive of time off and then a phased and gentle return to work with full consideration of what they feel comfortable and able to complete. It’s completely abnormal and unacceptable of your workplace to continue poor behaviour when you returned.

Sometimes leaving is the best option. You have to accept when you can’t change a situation and sometimes starting somewhere fresh in a positive environment is all it takes to alleviate mental health problems. Often mental health problems are environmental, is what I’m trying to say, and findings ways of addressing the root cause is better than getting in a pattern of regular absence and work but no treatment or change that’s needed to feel better.

I hope you’ve found somewhere more supportive and enjoyable to work!

Thank you. I moved to a different setting, worked there for 15 happy years and never had to have time off for mental health reasons again. I'm self employed now.

Holiday whist off with MH is completely legitimate, @TeaAndBrie I take it you have never had to deal with the side effects of MH drugs.

Last year I suffered from my very first MH in my 45 year career, I went to the doctors with numerous symptoms and they explained it was down to depression and stress, I never thought it would be that. The drugs were horrendous and the main reason I took 6 months off work was primarily dealing with the side effects.

I went on holiday also to relax and try get my head space in a better place.

I would suggest as their manager stalking them on SM when they are lawfully off with MH is grounds for them taking legal/disciplinary grievance against you, especially discussing it on SM.

If you are friends with someone on sm it isn't 'stalking'. Indeed we all get notifications so it is perhaps up to the holiday maker to be a bit wiser with whom they share their updates with. It is certainly not a 'grievance' to view posts someone has shared with friends on fb and then comment about it without revealing any identifying details on mumsnet.

How awful that the side effects from meds caused you to be off for the full 6 months. As an aside and bearing in mind you said 45 yr career didn't the GP mention menopause if you are a woman? If you haven't had mh problems before then NICE guidelines suggest hrt rather than anxiety medication. Sorry, none of my business just as you've shared I thought I'd suggest that a more informed GP may be better next time.

Fuck me 🤦🏼‍♀️

I know. How can looking at someone's posts be stalking!

👍

Do you think they wrote too ill to work but well enough for a holiday and well enough to post all over SM?

Lol have you ever seen a fit note? Fit notes are about someone's to ability work, not go on holiday or post online.

Yes, thank you CremeEgg, the trip and time off really helped me deal with things, as did a couple of sessions with counsellor. I did some thinking, about how our lives would look if we never managed to have kids, figured it could still be good, in different ways, made a plan for how long we would try for, did some ivf, which gave us one more miscarriage. Then we took a break from all the IVF and everything else and we got pregnant naturally and this one stuck and it was a very anxious pregnancy, but we now have a beautiful smart 14 month old DD

Ahh congratulations 😍

Haha that really did make me laugh, I’m hardly stalking them when I’m friends with them on FB and they put the pictures on willingly!
there is absolutely zero chance of this being traced to me and my work so please chill out.
my post was always about the pictures being placed online and not regarding them taking a holiday.

It is recommended to take a holiday when suffering with MH illnesses, although many people don't feel like it. Going somewhere different to relax I do absolutely agree with , a couple of pictures relaxing is fine.

In DHS job there's a woman who does absolutely suffer with her mental health and I really feel for her, however when I seen the latest post and pictures online while on her current holiday (5th this year) of her in bars, fancy meals, champagne, tours, beaches, theme parks, going to so many different countries, some long haul, on full pay it's hard not to feel like a mug, well dh because he's been covering her work load as have other staff. I think probably best not to post everything, it's difficult to feel sympathy.