Holiday photos on Facebook whilst off sick

[TeaAndBrie]

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

This just goes to show 1) how lucky you are not to understand what goes on in someone’s mind when you are mentally unwell and 2) how misunderstood mental health is.

You can look positive and go abroad and kill yourself the next day. Sorry but it’s true.

You do realise that maybe the colleague was feeling incredibly low so went on holiday to try and get away from everything?

so bereavement is ok in your book but other things are not? I'd love to know where you studied psychiatry?

Only the person themselves and the medical people involved in their care can say whether or not they can work at that time or not.
It is not up to someone looking at photos on FB to decide that. Nothing to do with them, and they only know a tiny bit of the picture. Having a phone in your hand and posting on FB does not mean someone can work. I was posting on FB when I was in hospital.

🤣

Yep! I’ve been that person, pretend I’m fine on fb to put up a front. I’ve know friends going through DV to post the day after being abused. I know people who look absolutely fine online or even when you see them but then they tell you what they’re going through and how mentally unwell they are.

I’d be outraged if I was the colleague of either of the two main antagonists on this thread, I’m doing ALL their work as they chat shit on Mumsnet 😅

Agree work is so important i work part time as I need that routine and stability or i get really unwell. Obviously when I have breakdowns I will have a few weeks maybe a couple of months of to regroup but myself and my medical team understand the importance of me working. I couldn't manage a full time job and im very lucky to have a very understanding employer but their would be absolutely no benefit to taking 6 months off work. I was shielded during covid and it took a lot to get me to leave the house and go back to work but it was the best thing I ever did.

@LadyTangerine I posted this a few pages ago and I’d love your opinion.

I was signed off with mental health issues. Written on the form as stress and anxiety. Later I was diagnosed with PTSD.
I went on holiday. It was prebooked and after all the problems over the last few months, I couldn’t face letting my partner down by refusing to go. I posted some snaps. I’m smiling, hiking, on the beach.

So currently, you think I’m fine to work, right?

Funnily enough, I didn’t post photos of the panic attacks, flashbacks and nights holed up in the hotel room.
I didn’t post photos of my partner planning and taking charge of every element of that holiday. I was capable of listening to instructions and suggestions but that was about all.
Frequent panic attacks, freeze response, crying, unable to make any decisions.

I was a front line police officer at the time. Do you think I should have been working, arriving to speak to a victim who had just been raped or stabbed? Even if I stayed in the office, making decisions on complex crime? Not great really, is it?

Can you not see the difference?

As it were, the holiday was a turning point for me and whilst I didn’t enjoy it all that much whilst I was there. It helped me see a ‘before’ and ‘after’ and put me on the right path of healing.

Yes people do mask and may be fine one day but not the next. Managing the issues is key rather than extended sick leave.

My point is recreation and work are both important in life, we need equal amounts of relaxation and stimulation.

Both activities require a similar effort from us mentally. I'm not suggesting anyone lies in a darkened room but after a couple of weeks off to reset then the focus really should be getting back to work.

Up to the person and what has been suggested by their medical team. What can work for one person might be detrimental to someone else.

'I was a front line police officer at the time. Do you think I should have been working, arriving to speak to a victim who had just been raped or stabbed? Even if I stayed in the office, making decisions on complex crime? Not great really, is it'

I think as you say your manager should have given you an office based role. Not making decisions on complex crime rather admin and audit that type of thing until you felt able to return to your former role or ill health retirement if that wasn't possible?

Why do people assume that someone can just be shifted into aa different role?

I recall a thread on here where who was cleaner had to take time off due to a bad back. Someone suggested that they work on reception instead.... different job with often different managers.

If I was the manager, I would ignore it. They are on LT sick for a reason and what they are doing is not outside of that scope of the reason they are off. If anyone raises it with you, remind them they aren't doing anything wrong.

People post on social media for a variety of reasons. They may not have anyone to share things with in real life but have friends though social media. They might be keeping family updated and not thought about having work colleagues on there. There is a place for social media helping with mental health issues for someone who may struggle outside of that.
I don't think twice about what I post (and I have work colleagues on social media - not my line manager or higher though). It's an outlet for me and sometimes posting something really helps lift my spirits.

I think it very much depends on circumstances. If someone was off for mental health reasons and posted pics of a nice relaxing break I can’t see the issue. However I can see why colleagues would have an issue if they were posting pics of them clubbing every night in Ibiza!!

it also down to optics. Whilst I accept someone who is off sick still has every right to go on holiday, they should realise plastering all over Facebook might cause resentment from their colleagues.

FGS!

Why is the OP getting such a hard time?

From where I'm sitting it's not her that is taking the puss.

* PISS!!
Damn you autocorrect

@LadyTangerine

I keep typing massive responses then my phone eats them!

Basically, no admin roles available. Even the most
minor offences require attention to detail and focus. Those offences aren’t minor to the victims.

Focusing on solving crime, preparing files for court etc…not the same as being gently corralled around a hotel, is if?

Psting them off having fun. Whilst colleagues are having to pick up their workload seems like them rubbing everyones nose in it. Personally I believe if people were not paid whether they were at work or not more people would suddenly manage to get to work. 6 months full paid leave is excessive in any job. 3 months should be more than sufficient although I know many jobs have 6 months full pay then 6 months half pay so basically 9 months pay for nonwork then very often the person hands in their notice because they don't really want to work.

I'd love to know how I could have managed the issue of my employer actively seeking to exacerbate my work related depression and anxiety, lying about me and deliberately making me as ill as possible.

Illness has no time scale, especially mental health.

I think the public sector in particular is too lenient with sick leave. There are far too many people taking the absolute piss.

I know one person who was disciplined for something and then straightaway was signed off sick with “work stress” because they’d been disciplined!

In the case of this employee, it does seem they are pretty confident of their position. The sensible response is, “Great, John, glad you’re having a blast on holiday, see you back here next week.” But of course to say that would be the most terrible thing these days. Do some posters on here think everyone is entitled to be off sick for whatever reason for as long as they like?

For every person off sick with stress, depression, anxiety etc sharing their healing holidays on FB there are others who are at work with stress, depression, and anxiety covering their shifts.

Well that sounds like workplace bullying and harassment so in your situation the way to manage it would be to collect evidence, involve your union rep and report to HR. Or leave.

Well at least the judgy mc judgefsces are all on the same post today

I'm pretty sure a doctor would of signed her off sick from work, and didn't write "not to go on holiday".