Holiday photos on Facebook whilst off sick

[TeaAndBrie]

Really interested to hear opinions on this one.
Staff member off long term sick (fully paid as local gov) due to mental health issues, signed off by GP for 4 months so far.
staff member is friends with manager on Facebook.
staff member has been uploading photos of holiday abroad on Facebook.
i would not expect someone who is on LTS for mental health reasons to never leave the house etc
Holiday photos seem a bit much though - especially when manager and other colleagues who can see these pics are having to pick up all of the work whilst he is away.
YABU - let them have their holiday, it’s good for them!
YANBU - let them have the holiday but would be better to have have pics on SM

Maybe they are updating for the people who care about them. Maybe they thought their colleagues would be glad to see them taking steps to get better.

I think the trick is to only follow people you actually care about on social media. If you don't wish them well, don't follow them. A photo is just a snapshot, it tells you nothing about their reality

If you were indeed an advocate of not hiding in your house, you wouldn't be attempting to dictate what people do if they do leave their house. Allowing 'going for a walk', how very covid reminiscent and generous of you. Are they also allowed to pop to the shops for milk?

I get ignorance about MH, and in fact you're lucky if you're ignorant because it likely means you have never been fucked up by your own brain.

Imagine spending a week barely eating, barely sleeping, barely washing yourself, because you are punishing yourself because you made a tiny inconsequential mistake at work. That was me when depression had really a good hold on me. The ONLY thing that helped me was going on holiday for a week. I wasn't off sick, I took normal annual leave, because no matter how many times my GP insisted to sign me off for a couple weeks, I felt I didn't deserve it. I wasn't worth it. That's how much my brain was fucking me up. Anyway I digress. If you saw my SM posts from my week away in Cornwall, you'd have thought I'm the most fun loving carefree having a great time ray of sunshine. In reality it was a welcome break from the throes of depression, although not completely scot free - I did manage to get a couple good panic attacks in, and I ruined a couple dinners uncontrollably crying and feeling like absolutely impending doom.

So yeah you have no fucking idea what you're talking about, but count yourself lucky. And be open to changing your mind even a little bit.

I wasn't replying to op i was replying to someone who said panic attacks and work related stress is a mental illness which it is not. It's not about being petty people seriously needs to learn the difference. For e.g. its not ok to say anxiety from public speaking or an exam is an anxiety disorder which is a mental illness, they are not even close to the same thing. And it minimises mental illness. Mental illness doesn't just go away at the end of an event or because you change environment but anxiety and stress absolutely can.

Those saying "it means more work for us" really need to take a leaf out of the male approach to work.

Because as a manger I realised the male managers always made sure they got more resources, or more pay, if there was extra work to be done.

It's down to us to have boundaries at work.

Those saying "it means more work for us" really need to take a leaf out of the male approach to work.

Because as a manger I realised the male managers always made sure they got more resources, or more pay, if there was extra work to be done.

It's down to us to have boundaries at work.

What are your relevant qualifications? Are you a GP? A MH practitioner? A nurse? A psychiatrist? A psychologist?

You have precisely ZERO IDEA what you're talking about.

I hope you're not line managing anyone.

I'm currently off sick with burnout and trigeminal neuralgia and my GP told me to go on holiday, she even recommended (peaceful) places. In an EU country and the rule is here you can't do anything that risks your recovery, so water slides when you've got a slipped disk. It 6 weeks pay from employer then 60% pay from health insurance for up to a year I think.

Imagine spending months sectioned and then people who have been out and about going on holidays and nights out with friends saying I know just how you feel I was stressed once its so hard

Posting on FB isn't fraught with danger, just be sensitive to others covering for you. This thread has demonstrated the awareness regarding mh problems however most has said that if you're well enough to post on sm, well enough to go on holiday then there surely that is enough wellness to go to work.

Work is stressful, it of course can exacerbate anxiety but the answer is strategies to navigate the anxiety or another role. I once knew someone who was training to be an intensive care nurse, it was making her ill the stress, the worry, unable to cope with the pace. Trying to be something she wasn't cut out for. She went off sick with stress then on reviews actually realised a different environment would he better suited so was transferred to a ward based job and loved it, absolutely flourished. Of course that is anecdotal but work based stress often boils down to the wrong role for a person.

What are your medical or otherwise relevant qualifications, please? You've felt qualified to define what is and what isn't a mental illness so I'd like to know where you're basing your definition.

The point is the OP is being wildly unprofessional, and has potentially made the person they're talking about identifiable, even without disclosing their name directly.

I think a holiday is a great idea for someone struggling to have a break and reset. However, probably not a good idea to post on social media

Im basing it on fact. The fact you dont know their is a difference between being anxious and a anxiety disorder is the problem

It is staggering isn't it. Of course everyone is different, everyone has different symptoms. But the ability to function and to what degree on a day to day basis is a pretty good indicator of how well someone is.

How? There will be hundreds of thousands on long term sick. She has not said anything remotely identifiable.

The point was you cannot arrive at a conclusion about someone's health, mental or physical, by looking at a SM post. And thank fuck for that, as it's HR policies that should be followed, not managers' personal views about what is tactful and what isn't.

I hope whoever you were referring to is doing much better and is well and happy and supported.

Exactly mental illness is a lifelong condition that can be manageable but when you have episodes to the point you can't go to work i would expect your in a pretty bad way to where functioning was a problem and you can't just snap out of it for a holiday. Mental illness doesn't work like that

But if my direct report somehow knows I sometimes write on MN as Alpaca Mittens, I could figure out they're talking about me or a colleague.

Oh okay, as long as you're basing it on fact.

Well it is a fact feeling anxious and a anxiety disorder are not the same thing. Everyone feels anxious at different times. Not everyone has an anxiety disorder

'I get ignorance about MH, and in fact you're lucky if you're ignorant because it likely means you have never been fucked up by your own brain'

The poster you're talking to has documented their very serious genuine mh problems, they have a cpn I don't believe you have one if you have minor issues. Please show some respect and consideration to others who have bravely shared their story.

and you knew all the details of their MH condition, what had caused it and so on? Of course you did or you wouldn't be judging?

My mum had to take about 6 months off 2 years ago for paranoid schizophrenic pyschosis episode that she got sectioned for 2 and a half months for. You wouldn't know it looking at her. Mental health issues aren't a one size fits all situation.

Oh they told us all about it. Very stressed, work was stressful. A trip to Thailand on what a 12hr flight not stressful.

nope not at all true. Not all mental health issues are chronic and, as everyone knows who "needs" a holiday as a de stressor, a holiday can be massively good for mental health.