To report my neighbour to social services

[ArtfulGoldWriter]

Neighbours have 2 kids age 4 & 2. The
mother has been screaming at the oldest for 3 years and now the other one too. It’s worse in the summer as our terraced street can hear it with the windows open. It’s horrendous- it sounds like emotional abuse.

It’s pretty much every day and the poor kids sound so distressed and terrified. It’s not so bad when the dad is there but when he’s at work, I don’t think she can cope and so she just screams at them. She works a couple of days a week and the older one is in primary school.

Its so hard to know what to do but it’s horrible to hear it- it’s like she hates them 😪

For context, I have written out an anonymous referral a few times but never sent it. I am treading a line between not wanting to interfere and just finding it unbearable

Voted YABU as this has been going on for 3 years and you still haven’t done anything!

What sort of relationship do you have with her? Do you know her at all?

If you have concerns then you absolutely should report it. I agree with pp that you should probably have reported before now seeing as you have had concerns for 3 years

Not really - I can’t stand her, mainly for this reason. I know the other neighbours can hear it too- it’s a terraced road

I Know - like I said I have written out the form anonymously on several occasions- just finding it hard to know if I should interfere

definitely contact social services, I had pretty much the exact same situation next to me and did so, I explained to the SS that the mum seemed unable to cope and probably needed some support. They got in contact with the parents, I know as the mum knocked my door asking if I’d called SS on them, I just, as advised by SS, denied all knowledge.
however!! The good news after an uncomfortable door visit is that the shouting has very much improved and I’m really glad I did it

Yes report it
It’s abusive and a child cannot grow up in that environment
she needs help

ah thats good to know- I have said in my form before that I think she needs some support

Don’t hesitate any further, please send it, those poor kids need someone to look out for them

Yes, please report. I can’t imagine screaming at my 3yo daily. It’s abusive and way way beyond the realms of just being a bit over stressed now and again when they’re playing up.

You could call the school anonymously and talk to their safeguarding lead.

You could always talk to the []https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/ before submitting your form

Absolutely, you should report. Use the term emotional abuse and describe how distressed the children sound. Detail how often and duration. Use exact words heard if you can. Hopefully someone else will also report, and help to build a picture. If you know their names and where they attend school or nursery, I would alert them too,as this may prompt them to be on the alert for signs of abuse too.

Please do, poor kids

100% report.

I've done it once when I found a toddler locked alone in a car in an underground carpark while the mum was off doing her shopping. I remember an old man walking by telling me not to get involved - that's how children die, buddy.

In my instance I reported to the police, but in yours I would report to social services + any other service I thought could be of help. Poor little souls. Some mums need extra support. Some are abusers.

If you're worried if you should report a safeguarding concern the answer is always, yes you should report it.
Someone needs to safeguard these children.

I’m just amazed it’s taken you 3 years to get round to doing it.

child abuse (and let’s call it what it is) is everyone’s business. How on earth have you sat and listened to her screaming at toddlers for so long?

sorry - but honestly. Do the right thing now, stop dithering and report her

Please interfere.

As a child I could never understand why other adults just let my mum abuse us. The whole street knew how she treated us, they could hear a lot of it as she didn't abuse us quietly, and no one ever did a thing to save us.

It's not interfering, its child safeguarding

This needs reporting. Its not unusual to lose your shit now and then but if this is their normal dynamic then that's bad for the kids and the family needs support.

Do you know which school the older one goes to?

You can report it to the safeguarding lead there.

Their details will be on the website of the school and you can email them directly.

Clicked the wrong button - but of course you should report. Safeguarding is everyone's business and it's not interfering. If nothing untoward is going on, they have nothing to fear. But you dont know what else children's services might already know that could suggest they're in desperate need of support.

I guess it depends what you are hearing. Is she swearing? Is she saying horrible things to them? Do you know whats being said?

Please report it. My GC was living in a terrible situation but lived 2 hours away from me. If it hasn't been for some concerned neighbours we would never have known. GC was removed and has lived with us for the last 2 years. They have needed therapy and have on going emotional issues. A child has no one to speak for them and as a society we have a duty to protect them.

Same.