To cut off a male friend for insisting I invite my estranged dad to my wedding?

[ThatCarmineHeron]

I’ve been NC with my family for 5 years. The estrangement is intentional, necessary and not up for debate.

A male friend has repeatedly insisted I invite my dad, who’s still married to my mum, to my wedding. He’s said things like “culturally it’s wrong/as the eldest you have a duty/your partner’s family will judge you/people will wonder what kind of wife you’ll be if you could cut off your family/a real man would want to meet your father before marrying you.”

He even said he wouldn’t stay with a woman who’d cut off her dad/family. I’ve made it clear that my decision isn’t up for negotiation but he keeps pushing. I find it deeply invalidating and honestly offensive.

AIBU to cut him off completely for this?

Your "friend" thinks he's the boss of you and is trying really hard to control you and get you to adhere to cultural norms that aren't yours. He's also very sexist.

Uninvite him and block. It sounds like the friendship is over.

His culture doesn’t over ride yours. I’d be inclined to respond with ‘culturally, you’re being outrageously rude and overstepping boundaries. I’ve told you that it’s not up for discussion, so you either accept it and stop now, or our friendship is over’.

I’d be very cautious about him attempting to force your hand by contacting your family himself.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.
cut him off too

Anyone who thought they had the right to insist anything about my wedding would be told to right off.

Since he cant grasp the fact hes not actually in charge then yes, he needs booting.

Ask him 'Who died and left you in charge '?

He has completely soured his attendance IMO.
His ego and misogyny may well make him feel he knows best and he leaks the details, or he just may not be able to resist raising it again on the day , causing you upset.

I wouldn't invite him.
I wouldn't trust his arrogance not to spoil the day one way or another

Fundamentally, he does not respect you.
If this was a girlfriend, she would be cut loose by many.

Watch your boundaries OP, you really shouldn't be tolerating this at all.

It just isn't his business whether you invite your dad or not. It's that simple. Being your friend doesn't entitle him to intrude in your business - he should respect your own choices in your own life.

Are you joking it’s perfectly acceptable terminology.

You're not allowed to use "they" in it's grammatically correct way anymore, had you forgotten? It not longer means "person over there I don't know" or "group of people" or "person of unspecified sex" (actually I suppose it could mean that one).

Language and grammar means nothing anymore in this new woke world.

“A real man would understand why I’ve gone NC. Mine does. Don’t bring it up again.”