To think they are desperate for a reaction?

[Mitzuvon]

So I was friends with a group of three other women, they were all friends before me and I was good friends with just one of them and then slowly integrated into the group (6ish years ago).

Anyway the person I was good friends (Friend 1) with we’ve just slowly drifted apart. We haven’t spoken this year (I asked to meet up with one (Friend 2?) as I was in her city for work and she made an excuse).

Friend 1 has since got engaged and I only found out because I saw the large engagement party she threw. And the other two friends have gone ott posting about it on social media - countless stories and posting photos (which they don’t usually do). I just text the friend that it was amazing news and congratulations, never questioned why I wasn’t invited.

Anything I’ve posted the other two have looked at immediately (which again they wouldn’t usually do). I know the event isn’t about me, but if they were my friends they would have at least reached out just to see that I was ok, as I know it would hurt them to just not be invited to a big event.

OP, I think you just have to accept that your friendships with the other women are not seen as close by them anymore. There may also be a feeling of greater loyalty to friend 1 than to you because of their longer history together. I understand why you’re hurt, but there’s no point focusing on it.

It sounds like you haven’t really seen any of them month's and you were already given the cold shoulder by friend2 (?not entirely clear from your posts, but that’s what seemed implied?) so this may be something that’s been building for some time from their perspective but you weren’t aware. Bound to feel shitty for you, but little you can do about it. Presumably, since you haven’t seen them in a while and they live in other cities(?again not entirely clear but seems implied?), you have a bunch of other friends you see more of now? I would focus on them and try and just appreciate the good times you had with these other women, but leave them in your past.

Good, bye 👋

If they don’t usually watch your stories but they both are, then yes they are probably checking to see if you posted some thing snarky.

as maybe after you congratulated the one getting married they realised they hadn’t invited and have been sent on the snoop.

be gracious, say nothing and smile politely.

Yes @beAsensible1 makes an excellent point! If your as snarky irl as you have been on this thread, F2 & 3 may have been expecting a ‘just me and the kids from now on’ kind of post from you perhaps.

If you became part of the group 6 years ago and haven't seen them for a year, then you were part of the group for 5 years. 6 - 1 = 5. Not 6 or 7.

I understand I'm being pedantic, but you're the one having a go at another poster for pointing out that you have contradicted yourself. Which you have.

Thank you!!!

It doesn’t change my answer either way but the fact OP has insisted that the timeline is so important and then refused to accept she changed the timeline and then refused to clarify the timeline is absurd.

Then getting launched at my other posters taking OP’s side because they didn’t pay attention to what was actually said undoubtedly emboldened OP to launch her next, far ruder, attack on another polite and genuine response.

Do you ever sleep or just you just sit and watch this thread? Peeing yourself with excitement each time there’s a new post?

I never said I hadn’t seen them for a year.

And it’s not a group that meets up constantly due to us now not all living in the same city. It’s usually 2/3 times a year we’d do something as a group.

So I’m calculating 6/7 years and not included 2025.

🤣

Gosh you are rude aren’t you?

I totally understand what Frodo means.

op, do you maybe struggle to read the room?

Mam this is an internet forum.

It’s still got a culture, an expected way of behaving, a general vibe, a direction of remarks and so on.

That’s what people are referring to. I can’t tell if you’re being hostile or trying to be funny or both.

I’m with Frozo and I totally get why the women made excuses rather than hang out with you. Your thread title and your responses show you’re one to avoid. Take their hints. Leave the poor women alone. They’re being normal and you’re stalking their social media.

I'm with Team Frozo on the timeliness

I think you have drifted apart from these people. It happens. And it stings. So, I'm sorry you were / felt left out

But I doubt they did this deliberately to get a reaction

This thread is strange with lots of strange/rude responses from the OP dressed up as 'sarcasm'. Thankfully I haven't used the word 'kindly'....

Stalking their socials? Have a day off love 😂. So people you are mutually friends/connected with on a social media platform it’s considered “stalking” to view what they post? They also look at my stuff but that doesn’t make them stalkers?

I think people who have genuine stalkers would be pretty offended that you categorise this as “stalking”.

And someone who last year I went to 5 gigs with and I contact to say “hey I’m in your city for a work thing would you like to get dinner” - that’s abnormal? That’s not leaving someone alone?

Do you have friends because the apparently asking if you’d like to get dinner and viewing your social is considered heinous.

But classic MN, the vultures come out to play as their lives are that dull. Nothing you say can hurt me. Your response just shows me what a bizarre creature you are if anything.

You’re either taking the piss or you’re serious. Either way it’s unsettling so I won’t be engaging further. I stand by my post.

I think the original friend probably feels put out you are seeing the group members separately from her. She was friends with them first so probably feels left out. So didn't invite you to the engagement.

You are being extremely aggressive to people who have responded rather mildly towards you. I’m feeling very sorry for Disco, Frozo and others. They do not deserve such unpleasantness.

If seeing attacks everywhere is your default reaction to anyone disagreeing with your interpretation then maybe your former friend have pulled away.

Whatever the reason, I don’t think their social media posts are trying to get a reaction from you. People just don’t care that much.

OP, don't get into arguments on Mumsnet. It's not going to make you feel any better to get wound up.

Yes, it does suck when people drift apart. It is even worse when friendships drift without you realising what is happening until it's too late. And just because of the way the group dynamic is, I guess it can feel particularly unfair because it's not 1-on-1, they are still meeting as a group so you are feeling left out.

However, I don't think they've done anything wrong per se. I think they should have been clearer perhaps about the slow fade. But if their friend is getting engaged, I can understand that their SM would be a bit extra. They're doing it for their friend. Not to rub your nose in it, even if it feels like it.

Mute their feeds for a bit and move on with all the grace you can muster!

Op, I find your responses very strange, and frankly disrespectful. You just keep getting ruder and ruder. Maybe you’re just trying to be sarcastic, or maybe you truely fail to see what others are trying to tell you. Either way, if your behaviour in real life is the same as it is here I can understand why these ladies have distanced themselves from you. My question (whether you have difficulties reading a room) was a genuine one, there is no need to respond sarcastically or take the piss. It was a genuine question as I get the feeling you struggle to read a room and I hoped thinking about this might help you understand that you’ve been holding on to something that no longer exists (or maybe never existed in the way that you think it existed).
Stop with the rude attitude because you’re just pissing off people who are genuinely trying to help.

Take this opportunity to find some self awareness.
You have a bitter attitude that will make people distance themselves from you, no-one likes a smart arse.

There have been some strange posts on this thread and frankly they haven't come from the OP. I don't blame her for reacting.

I think this.

You’ve just drifted out again, by your own admission. I don’t think they’re thinking about you at all, to be brutally honest.

Sounds like friend 1 has decided you and she are no longer friends, and has taken her original group with her. Quite possibly she has given a side to the story the other friends sympathise with, you are the bad guy, and they're letting you know that.