To think they are desperate for a reaction?

[Mitzuvon]

So I was friends with a group of three other women, they were all friends before me and I was good friends with just one of them and then slowly integrated into the group (6ish years ago).

Anyway the person I was good friends (Friend 1) with we’ve just slowly drifted apart. We haven’t spoken this year (I asked to meet up with one (Friend 2?) as I was in her city for work and she made an excuse).

Friend 1 has since got engaged and I only found out because I saw the large engagement party she threw. And the other two friends have gone ott posting about it on social media - countless stories and posting photos (which they don’t usually do). I just text the friend that it was amazing news and congratulations, never questioned why I wasn’t invited.

Anything I’ve posted the other two have looked at immediately (which again they wouldn’t usually do). I know the event isn’t about me, but if they were my friends they would have at least reached out just to see that I was ok, as I know it would hurt them to just not be invited to a big event.

What is the timescale then?

You said you slowly drifted apart. That has to have taken time. That’s what “slowly” means.

I don’t know why you’re being so strange about this. Why lie? What difference does it make? Do you really think if you change how long you were in the group everyone will suddenly agree with you?

You can’t change your story and then get annoyed at people because they didn’t factor in the changed story before you posted it. Especially when the part of the story you changed isn’t relevant to the answer.

If you think I’m making things up, why won’t you say the actual timeline? I can’t see any possible way for what you’re saying to be true - go ahead, prove me wrong.

How long since you spent time with any of these women? You haven't spoken to friend 1 since last year and it's unclear how often you're seeing or in contact with the other two. Apologies if I've missed it but I couldn't make it out from your post.
You didn't find out about the engagement from your other two friends so I don't think you can be that close. I personally don't consider people who I haven't heard from in months, friends . I'd probably leave the group and move on. If you've got other friends outside this group, great.

Why not message them and ask have you done something that they are shutting you out a bit? There seems to be more to the story

Kindly, they clearly have absolutely no interest in you. You seem like you want them to but they don't.

Their lives are their own and it's sad to drift away from friends but it happens every day. You should stop following them or friending them or whatever it is on SM.

Maybe try and concentrate on your other friendships and maybe making new friends. Do you have other close friends and family?

@Frozoyou’re hilarious

The others will always pick a side. She was their friend first.
What created the distance between you both?

😂😂😂😂

Kindly - they fuckjng despise you and would spit at you if they waked by you.

Not one ounce of kindness really was there in what you said. Lord MN loves the feeling of trying to twist the knife.

Sorry but I won’t allow what you said to hurt me, just as I haven’t allowed what they’ve done to hurt me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let something like this get me down or have control over me.

This thread was therapeutic to get it out. But still talking about it days later is giving it far too much room and attention.

I said they clearly have no interest in you. Why put words in my mouth?

And I am being kind as I know what it's like to be dropped by friends.

But now you are mocking me.

Well that's an extreme interpretation of what @DiscoBob put, which was actually measured and kind! 🤨

Thank you. I've no idea where that vitriol came from?! Really quite bizarre.

OP did the same and popped at me earlier. Unfortunately, I popped back so I got the pile on instead.

You didn’t deserve that response. OP clearly has convinced herself that they’re this close-knit group when they obviously aren’t.

Thank you too. I'm kind of taken aback by the response! Genuine kindness taken as being an absolute dick?!

OP is simply very angry that no one agrees with her - and she directed that anger at you. Not your fault at all, and your response wasn’t remotely unkind.

Christ, OP. That is not what that poster said at all. They weren’t unkind at all.

Your reactions on this thread - and to these women doing stuff on social media that has nothing to do with you - are not healthy.

just give their pots a few likes and positive reactions and move on. As you say, you’ve drifted apart, so try to be graceful about it even if it stings a bit. X

Yes it was suppose to be extreme, it’s called sarcasm.

If you’re going to say something that you know isn’t kind then just say it. There’s no need to say “kindly”

Oh god are you STILL here 😂. You’re obsessed.

You are really quite remarkably unpleasant.

It’s called sarcasm. You said something to try and hurt me and putting “kindly” doesn’t change that. And how can I put words in your mouth when I quoted what you said 😂.

Maybe they have zero interest in me, maybe they hate me, maybe they did it purely to get a reaction and maybe there a middle ground. Ultimately I’ll never know - even if people do something purely to be horrible they would never freely admit it.

I think it’s bizarre when people state things as facts such as “they have no interest in you”. You are not them and therefore sure you can give an opinion on your interpretation but you can’t state anything about their reaction as a fact.

Oh the irony that saying this also makes you quite remarkably unpleasant.

Op I don’t think you realise how to someone who’s just read the threat you come across as totally rejecting of any viewpoint that doesn’t align with yours, and really snapping back at perfectly legitimate comments, like the one about the timeline, which makes perfect sense. If you do that in real life then I see why they didn’t reach out.
what do you want here? Your op says friend 2 wasn’t available to meet last time you tried. No one has reached out. I am sorry and it must hurt but it sounds rather like they have all moved on with original friend. These things can be hard to understand but they happen. But if you disagree, rather than have a go at me, reach out to see if anyone wants to meet up/ post something friendly and see if anyone engages. And invest in other friends.

It’s not that. It’s the fact that someone tried to derail it by saying I was lying about timelines - a timeline they made up in their own head.

Friendships aren’t linear, I can go months without speaking to a friend and we just pick up where we left off.

There was no point to posting the thread as you can’t sum up group dynamics and history of 6/7 years in a paragraph. So how can anyone give a proper and unbiased opinion. They just can’t.

And as I said it doesn’t help anything for me to sit there and dwell on it. And I’m never going to ask them why. I’ve said my congratulations, I’ve not started an argument or any drama, there’s no comeback on me for them saying “I’m bitter” - I just have to be happy with my actions.

No I didn't say something to try and hurt you. Every word I said was genuine.
And I don't know what you think sarcasm is but it isn't any of your incredible reaction.
I have no idea what your issue is frankly so won't bother engaging further.

@Mitzuvon I don't think the group considered you as a member. Only you can work out why, accept it and move on to make new friends.
You could always ask them.

What reaction do you think they are looking for? Do you mean from you specifically?