To think they are desperate for a reaction?

[Mitzuvon]

So I was friends with a group of three other women, they were all friends before me and I was good friends with just one of them and then slowly integrated into the group (6ish years ago).

Anyway the person I was good friends (Friend 1) with we’ve just slowly drifted apart. We haven’t spoken this year (I asked to meet up with one (Friend 2?) as I was in her city for work and she made an excuse).

Friend 1 has since got engaged and I only found out because I saw the large engagement party she threw. And the other two friends have gone ott posting about it on social media - countless stories and posting photos (which they don’t usually do). I just text the friend that it was amazing news and congratulations, never questioned why I wasn’t invited.

Anything I’ve posted the other two have looked at immediately (which again they wouldn’t usually do). I know the event isn’t about me, but if they were my friends they would have at least reached out just to see that I was ok, as I know it would hurt them to just not be invited to a big event.

Oh, but just in case they are desperate for a reaction, as you say in your thread title -then not reacting at all will drive them bonkers because it denies them the drama.

Not sure how you've come to the conclusion that they're desperate for a reaction!
However, it can be hurtful when friendships fade.

This, why would you think that of all of the people they know, of all the reasons to have am engagement party... the main purpose of it is to get a reaction from you?

My initial response (that’s identical to most of the others) or my subsequent response where I point out that OP is lying after she randomly took exception to my identical response and started changing her story?

Yes, it is sad that I’m pointing out that Op is lying. It’s even sadder that she’s lying.

I don’t need to be there to know that if she joined the group six years ago and hadn’t been in the group for a while then she wasn’t in the group for seven years. I just need to be able to count to seven. It’s not degree level maths.

OP’s entire basis for starting on me was that she’s been in the group far longer than her OP says she was. That’s why I responded pointing out that she’s changed the story.

@Mitzuvon large engagement party ... posting about it on social media - countless stories and posting photos

I think you need new friends, to be honest. Just quietly withdraw and find a new social circle.

Who are you to decide on universal timelines though? Like I said, do you do this to people IRL. Grill them on their lives you know absolutely nothing about and decide and tell them that they're mistaken?

It's weird, listen to yourself. Like it bloody matters ffs!

Heh it's like you mark down the exact date and time you meet someone and if they get it wrong in the future you get all antsy and start waving diaries in their faces about how wrong they are.

😂😂😂😂😂
I’m not dictating universal timelines - physics is! If I met my DH 10 years ago then it can’t be our 11th anniversary. If I insist that I met him 10 years ago and that it’s our 11th anniversary - I’m wrong.

As I’ve said several times now, I didn’t raise it until OP came at me. OP said I’m wrong because of this. OP started an argument over this, not me. Are you seriously suggesting that “normal” behaviour is that OP tells me I’m wrong because of something that’s not true and I go “oh, I must’ve completely imagined the information in the OP (even though it still says it in the OP, I must be completely losing my mind) and OP’s new timeline and original timeline must be true because I don’t know her personally so can’t discount that she can fit seven years into four”.

Op - you aren’t friends anymore .

she didn’t think enough of you to invite you .
Other two friends aren’t either - one made excuses not to see you .

unless you were tagged then it’s not about you .

checking who has read things when sends you paranoid .

if someone posts something whilst I am sat down with a coffee then I may well click on it . I don’t hold onto my phone like a teenager.

i am not sure why you posted though as you are convinced you are right.

It could be two could be 20 years . If people don’t want to see you , celebrate with them their not your friends .

i also do wonder if you see it as drift engaged friend sees it as something different

This wins the award for the most batshit response on MN in a long time. Can only presume it's a wind up. Imagine literally sitting there trying to calculate exact timings to catch OP out for some reason... and then getting it all wrong anyway.

OP - I don't know what they're up to but they don't sound like great friends.

You're still doing it. Have you no self.awaewness at all?

No it doesn’t sound like they are desperate for your attention. That’s a real leap.

OK, so what happened to create the distance that has appeared?

Yes, this. Nothing suggests anyone involved is ‘desperate for attention’. You’ve all drifted apart, by the sound of things, not just you and the former friend who got engaged. Are you long distances apart? You mention visiting Friend 2’s city for work, as well as not having spoken to the friend who got engaged all year.

This is crazy. Does it even matter if she was fully part of the group for 6 years or if she was a full member for 4 years then started drifting apart? Its impossible to have a clear start and end of a friendship. These things are usually quite fluid. Unless theres an incident that ends the friendship on the spot.
You keep going on and on about a detail that makes absolutely no difference.

YABU. They don’t care about a reaction from you, they are busy living their lives.

They are friends. You were an add-on to that group for a while (4 years or 6 years or 7, who cares) and now you aren’t.

I agree that it actually makes no difference. Funnily, you’re not saying that to OP and OP is the one insisting it does make a difference. If you read what she said, OP said it made a difference. Have a go at her instead.

Have you no numerical awareness?

1. I’m not wrong
2. I’m not trying to “catch her out”. She didn’t like the responses she got and started lying to try and get better responses. It’s not as if I read the OP and thought “I smell a rat”. I read the OP, responded to it, OP told me I was wrong because of [changed details]. I pointed out that she was now changing the details and she accused me of being on drugs…

What’s “batshit” is how many people can’t seem to follow a thread.

Goodness, just give it a rest! Your obsession with an exact timeline is bizarre, and your posts are verging on bullying.

Who cares at which exact point in the six or so years the friendship started to drift, and exactly how long the drifting took. It’s irrelevant to the question.

Are you joking right now?!

OP cares. OP said it’s relevant.

Why are you coming at me as if I said it’s relevant?!? OP said that! Fucking hell!

You haven't had contact with the host of the party for at a minimum 6 months, and probably longer. You said yourself that you've drifted apart. So it's likely the party host feels the same.
You've just got FOMO. That's all.
As for the other women posting pictures etc. They're not doing it "at you". Remember, no one is thinking about you anywhere near as much as YOU'RE thinking about you. A thought that can be both scary AND freeing, depending on how you look at it.

I think you have responded very politely.

It's hard to know if they want a reaction but pathetic if they have nothing better to do than check their social media to see if you have sent an angry, upset message about it yet!

I hope you have made other friends.

How does “drifting apart” have an exact timescale? 😂😂. You putting exact dates is really weird and so heavily invested .. it’s bizarre. Are you genuinely ok?

And where have you got that I’ve got no friends from? That’s 100% made up by you from nothing I have stated.

You’re writing your own narrative and getting so angry. Even others have been taken back by your insane responses.

No i do know that it’s not a big master plan construed to purely get at me.

They (the other two) would know that I would be hurt/shocked by this and the fact they haven’t just messaged and also gone overboard with the stories and photos - it just comes across as insensitive (not that they shouldn’t post, it was that they went overboard on posting which they don’t tend to do).

I think if it had been one of those left out I would have just messaged them to check in on them. But I’m only responsible got my actions and I would hate to think someone was feeling hurt and that one message could go a long way. They obviously have a different take and will be seeing the situation differently.