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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People no longer have pride In how they drsss.

875 replies

Welliesandtweed · 22/06/2025 19:31

I've increasingly noticed that people are getting scruffier and scruffier in how they dress.

Some of the secretaries where I work come in, In trainers, band t shirts, coloured hair, loose fitting, cheap tops. I wouldn't do the garden in some of the outfits I see. They aren't typically patient facing but on occasion are. I think it really lacks professionalism to turn up scruffy to work.

Same for people out for an evening meal in jogging bottoms.

On Saturday we had sports day at school and every woman was in a nice dress and men in chinos / short chinos and shirts. Children all in proper PE uniform. It was so refreshing to see.

OP posts:
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5
Whatwaswrongwiththatusername · 22/06/2025 22:10

Proudtobeanortherner · 22/06/2025 20:19

I think that it does affect their work. If people cannot make an effort with their appearance and demeanour they are unlikely to (and don’t) work hard. In the workplace this comes across badly to clients and customers.
It is probably the case that there is a correlation between dress standards (amongst other things) and the woeful productivity rates in the country compared to others in the world.

Jesus fucking Christ 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Well, that’s us told then. Nobody works hard unless they’re in a shitty twin set and pearls.
There’s also likely a big correlation between judgy twats and being an insufferable arsehole. It must be true because I’ve just said so 🤷🏼‍♀️ You are aware that people likely just roll their eyes at you and cringe because you’re probably trying just a little too hard. Bless. Must be so hard worrying about how you appear to other people, rather than just being content and confident in your own skin, doing things your own way.

AmyDuPlantier · 22/06/2025 22:12

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 22/06/2025 21:52

I suppose OP thinks the ladies in Mad Men should be the current standard

God, I’ve had periods where I’ve dressed like that but lately I’m as casual as I can get away with. I do love that look though.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/06/2025 22:12

A lot of it is jogging bottoms, crocs, trainers....it just looks such a mess.

I wear crocs and trainers as they are comfortable and I have a problem with my foot. I really don't care if anyone thinks I look a mess, I prefer to walk with as little pain as possible.

WhatATediousPeacock · 22/06/2025 22:12

Fashion contributes 8-10% of global carbon emissions. I'd say there are nowhere near the right amount of scruffy clothes.

brunettemic · 22/06/2025 22:14

Welliesandtweed · 22/06/2025 19:45

It was sports day and afternoon tea to celebrate the end of school year. No dress code and yet everyone turned up nicely dressed and neat and tidy. Not one person had pink hair, garish colours or jogging bottoms on. It shows a sense of pride and respect for the occasion.

I think how you dress is a reflection of your standards. If you turn up at work looking like an unmade bed, then it indicates you don't have pride in your job and your standards. You don't dress for work like you are chilling out on a Sunday, clearing the garage or attending a gig.

I just think it's a shame that we moved away from the idea of dressing for the occasion, be it dinner, work, a tea party or turning up at your child's school.

I don't think I'm out of touch, I'm 43.

Edited

So, to be 100% clear, if I’m bad at my job, make mistakes on purpose, take no pride in my work but wear a nice suit I’m acting professionally?

An indication of taking pride in your work is doing your work well. I wore leggings and a t shirt last week, presented a spend plan over the next 3 years totalling millions of pounds, answered every board question, outlined how and why my plan is strategically the right way forward and had it signed off. Explain to my how I was unprofessional?

Oh, and there were no spelling errors in my slides.

Cherrysoup · 22/06/2025 22:16

Hugely snobby post. However, driving to work this week, commuter belt for London, I did notice that the women were mostly in lovely outfits, either a nice dress (!) or fab leggings/tops, but the blokes did look a bit crap/samey. I did wonder if finally, being more considerate of how you look (but oddly, it’s the reverse in nature, male birds, for example, are far more striking than females) is working in our favour. Perhaps the weather brought out the best in the women? Chance to show off a fab outfit?

Greywarden · 22/06/2025 22:17

Welliesandtweed · 22/06/2025 19:51

No hats. I'm really surprised that anyone can't comprehend wearing a dress to the sports day. It can't be that unusual if almost everyone turned up in a dress without it being specified?

Yes but whilst it's fine to wear a nice dress if you want to, I don't get why it should be the expected 'uniform' that a woman has to wear in order to be deemed to be 'taking pride in her appearance' - especially at an event where it might not be especially practical (sitting around on grass, leaping about, participating in parent sports events if there are any...)

In my view clothing should be about comfort and self-expression. People can wear band t shirts etc and take pride in their appearance at the same time if their way of taking pride is expressing their interests and personality. As for 'coloured hair' - I presume you mean hair that isn't designed to look naturalistic or conventional, given that it seems the majority of women colour their hair in some way or other. This again is a person choice and form of self-expression that many women feel really good about. I don't get why it's inherently inferior / superior to any other type of look out there. If it isn't to your style or taste, fine - you don't have to do it.

The world would be so boring if everyone dressed conventionally. Presumably you missed the memo from all the exciting fashions and styles of the 70s, 80s etc when a lot of women chose to buck social trends and dress alternatively (and indeed have failed to grasp that all aesthetic conventions are culturally specific and that over time what counts as mainstream 'smart' and conventional changes again and again... it's not as though smart modern business suits are the historical or even modern global norm for smart dressing...

Ceramiq · 22/06/2025 22:20

I completely agree, OP. Lots of people look absolutely terrible - standards of personal presentation seem to get lower and lower.

Breadcat24 · 22/06/2025 22:22

I probably look crap but I do try not to

beadystar · 22/06/2025 22:24

I agree. I see a lot of people, men and women, in slobby clothes and think it looks awful. And no, I don’t think we should all dress like we’re in Mad Men. It’s just all those leggings and joggers and polyester hoodies and little kids in football strips. My grandparents didn’t have much but their clothes fit and were made properly from proper material. A decent haircut. I live in a capital city but would be happy to never see another male in a shitty grey tracksuit or a girl in flesh coloured bum crunch leggings ever again. There’s no pride.

Parker231 · 22/06/2025 22:24

Ceramiq · 22/06/2025 22:20

I completely agree, OP. Lots of people look absolutely terrible - standards of personal presentation seem to get lower and lower.

But why would you wear a dress to participate in your children’s sports day and then sitting on the grass for a picnic - you’ll look ridiculous doing the obstacle course or sack race. It’s about dressing appropriately not trying to look silly.

WearyAuldWumman · 22/06/2025 22:24

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/06/2025 22:12

A lot of it is jogging bottoms, crocs, trainers....it just looks such a mess.

I wear crocs and trainers as they are comfortable and I have a problem with my foot. I really don't care if anyone thinks I look a mess, I prefer to walk with as little pain as possible.

I can no longer wear "nice" shoes following a bilateral operation. I have to wear orthotics so have been advised to stick to trainers. For work, I wore granny lace-ups.

OutandAboutMum1821 · 22/06/2025 22:28

YANBU OP. I couldn’t agree more. All you can do is keep on dressing smartly as you prefer, that’s what I do. You will certainly never bump into me in Tesco’s in my PJs or on my school run in slippers, that’s for sure!

Tapoopoo · 22/06/2025 22:30

Ive had bright pink hair in the past and rainbow coloured hair. I wasnt keen on the pink but I loved my rainbow hair!

Its a faff and expensive to keep it looking good. They were the most high maintenance colours Ive ever had! It can go from fab to awful in 2 washes. Thats why so many people with "fashion colour" hair look scruffy and like they dont care. Its not the pink as such, its the patchy, faded, rooty hair that makes their hair look a mess, especially if its on over bleached hair.

99% of the time when people ask "how to look stylish", people will say tidy hair.

Pink hair, rainbow hair etc very, very rarely looks stylish (Im including myself in that). The only time Ive seen it look classy was on a woman who had a whole "look" and was impeccably turned out. Her look wasnt to my taste but it was... intentional and you know she'd tried on 3 pairs of shoes to find the perfect ones to match her dress etc. Faded pink hair with scruffy, dirty trainers? Nope.

Fizbosshoes · 22/06/2025 22:30

I think there's a big difference between scruffy and casual
Scruffy suggests ill fitting, maybe grubby, dirty or worn out clothes, unbrushed hair etc
As opposed to casual clothes which may well be new or clean, laundered clothes that happen not to be formal....?

I know of a guy who is pretty well off, often wears a suit, sometimes a cravat, but looks a mess. The suit is often crumpled, and creased and or grubby and his hair looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards. How is that somehow "better" than eg a clean tshirt and jeans...or <god forbid> joggers..?

mindingmyown37 · 22/06/2025 22:31

It’s called comfort. As long as the clothes aren’t visibly dirty I don’t understand why people get so uptight about dress codes. Im a tomboy. Not wore a dress since I was 10, nor a skirt, only wear trainers. I’ve been offered box seats at football matches but I’ve turned them down because they have a dress code and I wanna be comfortable whilst jumping around cheering on my team.

Lore86 · 22/06/2025 22:36

Not a popular opinion, but I agree with you. People let themselves go after the pandemic. Work used to be the one place where you had to be composed in how you looked. People no longer put in the effort. I always get compliments about my dress code at work and whilst no one dresses smart anymore, I’m keeping the habit because that’s what I want and leave others to do the same. I do look and judge people in my mind on how they present themselves, but keeping it to myself. I’m sure they’re not interested in getting feedback. They already looked in the mirror that day and decided they’re happy just as they are.

Unorganisedchaos2 · 22/06/2025 22:36

I sort of agree whilst being guilty of this at the same time 🤔

DH was always suited and booted for his sales/manager based role pre-covid and now only wears a polotop/shirt if he's bidding or meeting a certain niche of clients. His performance hasn't changed but Im sure he's more comfortable in his t-shirts.

I work from home and haven't turned my camera on in over a year at least. Recently had a night out with some school mums and they were surprised at my "corporate role" I wasn't offended as I honestly look like a right scruff bag doing the school run most days but I do my job very well and my employer is more concerned with that than than anything else.
I do wonder if outside certain professions the expectation to be very smart is now outdated.

I cant shake the belief that children should be in school uniform and look smart but I wonder what the knock on effect will be, quite rightly of everything being more causal

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/06/2025 22:37

Just occurred to me....wasnt there a photo of Diana at one of her sons sports days, doing the mothers race in a classic 80's style dress, and then another of the PoW doing the same for one of her kids and she was in jeans?

If jeans at kids sports day is ok for the future Queen, I would say its ok for the rest of us. Just not the nouveaux riche.....do you use serviettes?!

RafaFan · 22/06/2025 22:42

Welliesandtweed · 22/06/2025 19:45

It was sports day and afternoon tea to celebrate the end of school year. No dress code and yet everyone turned up nicely dressed and neat and tidy. Not one person had pink hair, garish colours or jogging bottoms on. It shows a sense of pride and respect for the occasion.

I think how you dress is a reflection of your standards. If you turn up at work looking like an unmade bed, then it indicates you don't have pride in your job and your standards. You don't dress for work like you are chilling out on a Sunday, clearing the garage or attending a gig.

I just think it's a shame that we moved away from the idea of dressing for the occasion, be it dinner, work, a tea party or turning up at your child's school.

I don't think I'm out of touch, I'm 43.

Edited

I have a "professional" job (accountant), dealing with clients all the time. While how I dress for work (business attire because I like it) would meet with your approval, I never wear make up and sometimes have purple hair. The horror.

Tapoopoo · 22/06/2025 22:42

Unorganisedchaos2 · 22/06/2025 22:36

I sort of agree whilst being guilty of this at the same time 🤔

DH was always suited and booted for his sales/manager based role pre-covid and now only wears a polotop/shirt if he's bidding or meeting a certain niche of clients. His performance hasn't changed but Im sure he's more comfortable in his t-shirts.

I work from home and haven't turned my camera on in over a year at least. Recently had a night out with some school mums and they were surprised at my "corporate role" I wasn't offended as I honestly look like a right scruff bag doing the school run most days but I do my job very well and my employer is more concerned with that than than anything else.
I do wonder if outside certain professions the expectation to be very smart is now outdated.

I cant shake the belief that children should be in school uniform and look smart but I wonder what the knock on effect will be, quite rightly of everything being more causal

But I think that school uniforms have become more casual. All but the private schools by me wear poloshirts. I hate it but must admit Im glad I dont have to iron!

At this time of year, a lot of uniform is looking very scruffy anyway as a lot of parents want to wait until next year to buy new uniform.

KellySeveride · 22/06/2025 22:47

What I find odd op is that you mention secretaries and patients…so I’m assuming you mean med secs?

I am a med sec and we have a dress code so I am surprised to hear that’s not common across the board. However I would probably still disappoint you because despite my pretty floaty office dresses (which I hate-I’m a joggers/jeans and hoodie wearer in normal life) I still wear trainers with my dresses and I’m covered in tattoos 🤣

Tapoopoo · 22/06/2025 22:48

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/06/2025 22:37

Just occurred to me....wasnt there a photo of Diana at one of her sons sports days, doing the mothers race in a classic 80's style dress, and then another of the PoW doing the same for one of her kids and she was in jeans?

If jeans at kids sports day is ok for the future Queen, I would say its ok for the rest of us. Just not the nouveaux riche.....do you use serviettes?!

But her jeans would have fitted perfectly, not looked faded or had trodden down cuffs etc. In short, although in jeans, she still looked like she (or her stylists anyway) had made an effort.

She didnt turn up in jeans that were a size too small and a tshirt that wasnt white anymore.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 22/06/2025 22:48

You're absolutely right OP, funny how on this thread, it's ok but on men going top less in this weather, it's lack of self respect.

If people can dress however they like, then it goes both ways.
Usual double standards.

Whatwaswrongwiththatusername · 22/06/2025 22:52

ETA: to reiterate, this is only directed at the nasty, sneery, (low self esteem, not clever or talented enough to do their job without their lipstick on and an ugly pair of “pants” and a naice blouse on. But I’d never say anything so mean), judgemental fuckers with superiority complexes who genuinely believe what they wear make them better and more productive members of society. It isn’t about how someone chooses to present themselves.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been on a post where I’d genuinely rather be run over 38 times by a train whilst being simultaneously tasered for 3 hours than have to spend even 2 minutes in the company of so many godawful posters. I am cringing at so many of these posts! So many people attempting to convince others that they’re something that they’re clearly not, because nobody who is truly comfortable about who they are would genuinely believe the tripe they’re coming out with - so insecure about their worth and ability to do their job that they think if they dare to wear a T-shirt to work then their intellect and ability to do their job goes down the toilet. I’m so sorry that so many of you believe that you can only manage to be productive and do your job properly if you’re wearing the “correct” uniform. Most people are good at their jobs because, well, they’re good at their jobs, and don’t feel their self worth and being successful are wrapped up in how they look, rather than in their ability.

I genuinely feel a little bit sad for you. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, enjoying doing your make up etc etc, but there is absolutely everything wrong in looking down on those who choose not to and thinking you can’t do your job unless you’re wearing a “pretty” dress and some heels (“oh no, did you see her with her pink hair? And those awful clunky DM sandals?! And shudder a tattoo!”), it’s a shame you feel that way about yourselves. Are you saying you only got where you are because of how you look, and that if you’d worn a band T-shirt or a pair of jeans you’d not have been able to do your job because you’d be so unproductive, as some of you have said? What jobs do you do where how you look counts for more than talent, intellect, creativity, ability? Actually, no, don’t answer. The irony though, of all those harping on about crazy, unnatural hair colours and tattoos, yet drawing eyebrows on with a black sharpie and colouring in your artificially inflated lips with a coloured crayon. Yes, that’s not bizarre at all. The fact that when you take all that make up off you resemble an entirely different person, but somebody with orange hair is the “odd” one? These are the things I’m hearing on here. Your attitudes are vile, tbh. The trashy tackiness is laughable, because you’re really not sounding like you think you are - there is nothing more common than trying so hard to try and elevate yourself with attempts at snobbiness. Those who have class, and also who are secure in themselves don’t need to try so hard. It’s effortless. Much like the nice guy who has to say he’s a nice guy. And if you genuinely believe your career and self worth are so innately tied into your appearance, then I feel bad for you. Just imagine you had an accident, or an illness, and for whatever reason you weren’t able to present yourself in this way then what on earth would you do? How would you cope? How would you ever be able to be a productive member of the job force?

And remember, people can take their “ugly” band t shirts off, but you’ll never be able to rid yourselves of your ugly attitude or personalities. And I hope you never break your ankle and have to wear a giant ugly boot and baggy joggers for 4 months and watch your own productivity disappearing down the loo right in front of you, because you couldn’t possibly be good enough at your job on your merits alone, and with such little effort in your appearance <tut, just look at the state of you> and end up on the arse end of nasty comments from people such as yourself.
😘😘

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