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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very anxious about the assisted dying bill?

362 replies

bipbopdo · 22/06/2025 10:45

I’m surprised by how anxious I am about it. I don’t agree with it at all and I’m not sure there will ever be enough safeguards to justify making it legal. As it currently stands, it’s theoretically possible for someone with anorexia to qualify.

It took less than ten years for Canada to expand eligibility well beyond the original criteria. Assisted dying now accounts for one in twenty deaths there. I’m scared that could happen here.

OP posts:
Cherrytree86 · 25/06/2025 10:01

Comedycook · 25/06/2025 09:35

Ok that's your life and your family. Now imagine a different family...let's say a greedy grasping adult child in financial difficulty who is desperate to get their hands on their inheritance asap. Can you imagine them telling their terminally ill vulnerable parent, oh you don't want to be a burden to us do you mum? I know you'd hate to have us have to look after you wouldn't you? You know I have so much to cope with already and so on and so on. And by it's very nature coercive, abusive behaviour is often subtle and flies under the radar. This is one potential pitfall I can see.

@Comedycook

Nope, still not grounds to take away that choice from those want it and need it.

Vinvertebrate · 25/06/2025 11:46

who does want to be a burden? By that point your quality of life will be pretty non existent so why should they be forced to go on existing? Because it makes you uncomfortable that they have autonomy over themselves and their life? Nah, not a good enough reason.

The point that seems to have sailed over your head is that the current law does not do enough to avert the risk of medical and familial coercion, both of which would call into question whether the individual concerned is truly exercising autonomy.

A related point is that the availability of assisted dying may adversely impact the quality and availability of palliative care, which can truly enhance the lives of the terminally ill.

Personally, although I agree with the principle of AD, I am uncomfortable with giving the (routinely incompetent, failing, and unable to even deliver babies safely) British state the right to end someone's life. Wes Streeting - who is in a position to know what the practicalities would mean - apparently agrees, because he voted against it.

Zimunya · 25/06/2025 13:53

A related point is that the availability of assisted dying may adversely impact the quality and availability of palliative care, which can truly enhance the lives of the terminally ill.

@Vinvertebrate - the sad reality is that in so many cases palliative care is appalling or non-existent.

Vinvertebrate · 25/06/2025 15:15

@Zimunya i suspect it’s a postcode lottery, like so much of the NHS. My DM has been on palliative care since 2023 after being given 6 months to live. She is leading a full and active life despite a terminal diagnosis, but AD is of course cheaper. I fear that patients in that position will be steered towards ending lives that would have been enhanced by the right end of life care being available.

Zimunya · 25/06/2025 15:18

@Vinvertebrate - I'm so pleased to hear about the positive experience your mum is having, despite a terminal diagnosis. It's good to know this happens sometimes!

Firefly1987 · 25/06/2025 19:17

OntheBorder1 · 25/06/2025 02:37

I was actually responding to a poster who asked if sedation is for the person dying or their relatives. My late DF was sedated before his death, and I didn't find sitting with him while he was in that state to be as awful as so many seem to think it is.

I live in a country which already has assisted dying, so the option is there if I ever required it.

I don't think anyone thinks it's awful, just that needing to be sedated to the point of unconsciousness because of being in so much pain seems pointless to most of us. None of my relatives were offered sedation so I don't know exactly how it works but if it was me I'd just opt for assisted dying and say goodbye to my family whilst actually conscious.

Firefly1987 · 25/06/2025 19:23

The people against the bill have had years to get palliative care improved, it's only now you're concerned? We always supported our local hospice yet they never took my dad or grandad. The people saying their loved one died in comfort at a hospice honestly don't realise how lucky they are. Although unless they were keeping a 24 hour vigil I'm not sure how they can be sure how comfortable it is.

Greenjack · 28/06/2025 08:07

Vinvertebrate · 25/06/2025 11:46

who does want to be a burden? By that point your quality of life will be pretty non existent so why should they be forced to go on existing? Because it makes you uncomfortable that they have autonomy over themselves and their life? Nah, not a good enough reason.

The point that seems to have sailed over your head is that the current law does not do enough to avert the risk of medical and familial coercion, both of which would call into question whether the individual concerned is truly exercising autonomy.

A related point is that the availability of assisted dying may adversely impact the quality and availability of palliative care, which can truly enhance the lives of the terminally ill.

Personally, although I agree with the principle of AD, I am uncomfortable with giving the (routinely incompetent, failing, and unable to even deliver babies safely) British state the right to end someone's life. Wes Streeting - who is in a position to know what the practicalities would mean - apparently agrees, because he voted against it.

No-one is giving the state the right to end people's lives. This bill is about giving people the right to end their own lives, assisted by the clinicians, to avoid unendurable pain and indignity when they are already at the end of their lives. No-one would be coercing your mum or handing her the pills.

The doctors caring for the patient and the panel making the decision are the safeguards.

You are naive if you think palliative care always works even when it is offered, which it often isn't. It sounds like your mum has decent quality of life right now. How would you feel if she was on an ordinary ward screaming with pain and doubly incontinent with only prolonged death to look forward to. More importantly, how would she feel.

Vinvertebrate · 28/06/2025 19:29

Fix palliative care first, then look at AD. That would at least allow people to make an informed choice, rather than just give up because the NHS can’t do end-of-life care reliably. I am in favour of AD in principle, but this bill does not do enough to mitigate the risk of coercion, including medical coercion, to which the disabled and victims of abuse are significantly more vulnerable.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 28/06/2025 19:38

Vinvertebrate · 28/06/2025 19:29

Fix palliative care first, then look at AD. That would at least allow people to make an informed choice, rather than just give up because the NHS can’t do end-of-life care reliably. I am in favour of AD in principle, but this bill does not do enough to mitigate the risk of coercion, including medical coercion, to which the disabled and victims of abuse are significantly more vulnerable.

How do you fix palliative care when medics refuse to provide enough drugs to properly alleviate pain as it may hasten death?

It’s a catch 22 surely. Can’t fix palliative care without (involuntary) euthanasia. Can’t have (voluntary) euthanasia without effective palliative care.

Trumpeuncretino · 28/06/2025 19:53

100% support

Comedycook · 28/06/2025 19:59

No-one would be coercing your mum

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