How to parent my unmotivated teen?

[shelle07]

DS is 17 and doing A’Levels. We got called into school this week because they are concerned about his progress this year. He has failed all of his mock exams, is late with deadlines, distracted, and minimal effort. He has not been easy at home either. We try to remind him to do homework and revision, but he just lies to us, or gets angry with us for even bringing it up. Just don’t know what else to do without living in a constant battlefield. Feel like a failing parent. He just doesn’t seem to care or have any motivation to think about his future.

Has he done any work experience?

Would he be better off on an apprenticeship or a vocational course at college?

Stop reminding him to do anything. Stop talking to him about school. Tell him that you expect him to be in education when he's 18 or in a job. If he's living at home you expect him to pay you £400 a month in board. Give him more responsibility to manage himself. Let him fail spectacularly if need be. (he's young, he can resit. Nothing now is the end of the world. You can help him when he's ready to accept it)

Ask him what's his plan

Not yet. He is due to in a fortnight. He was supposed to sort that out himself but we had to intervene in the end as he hasn’t sorted out anything.

Yes, but he doesn’t know what he wants to do.

So what does he do with his time instead of what he should be doing? That will be your answer.