Would you expect a contribution in this situation?

[Greys3456]

If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend who was at your house quite a lot - they have their own place too but you don’t really stay there much due to the distance/having children and there not being enough space/having pets but them not having a garden for toileting.

They buy their own food when at your house but are obviously still using your water/gas/electric.

Would you expect a contribution towards anything and if so, how would you broach the subject?

Or maybe i should say, there's always two

And now not just a cocklodger but a paedophile to boot

If he has money, try rinse him as much as you can.

I would say the person whose house it is should look back through their bills and if there is a measurable difference then it's not unreasonable of them to say this and say they are sorry but it's an expense they just cant afford.

I know if I was at someone's house so much that it was increasing their bills I would be mortified that I hadn't even thought about that and I would want to contribute.

Slightly off topic, but OP said they’d been together for just under 2 years and there have been a handful of comments saying it’s too early to have a partner staying over. Out of interest, how soon is too soon?

No I wouldn't charge for electricity etc. But they're obviously some resentment on your part.

This sounds grabby and petty. Unless there is a huge backstory that hasn’t been shared here.

Not only that but there’s an assumption the children are in the house. I have 50:50 shared custody- it is rare my DP is in the house with the kids around.

No, assuming they also chip in helping with the dishes, cooking, childcare, and pets whilst there, vs sitting on their backside expecting to be waited on? Then they're actually contributing already to making your life easier. Which is worth more than £20 a month extra in my book.

It sounds ridiculously petty, and not the good basis for a relationship if you’re going to sit down and calculate how many pennies a shower costs, how much water a toilet flush uses, etc. If it’s thst much of an issue, just stop him coming round all together. But I think there are some other benefits to you in this situation. Does he give you or the children a lift somewhere in the days he stays? Help with the housework? Fix or repair things in the house? Mow the lawn? Walk the dogs?

Erm... Have you read my post properly?! I didn't say that, I was saying how ridiculous that other posters were making that assumption! It seems I'm in agreement with you 😕