To miss the first lockdown?

[TidyOchreReader]

I know it was a tough time for many but I genuinely loved that first lockdown. I think about it all the time. There was something strangely blissful about slowing down, having fewer obligations and just focusing on connecting with people - even though we couldn’t physically see them. And when you did see someone, the gratitude was immense. AIBU to feel nostalgic for that time?

I know what you mean even if others don't. I loved being furloughed, the quiet streets, no traffic, being home with my family with no pressure to do anything at all, no busyness.
It's made me change things, I work less hours, get out in quiet nature spots more, and I know I can retire early on less money, as I enjoy simple things.

We lost multiple teens to suicide, the fall out was life changing - it was one of the lowest periods of my entire life navigating such a thing with my teen dd - which is nothing compared to the immense suffering of their parents, so I am aware your post made me feel instant rage and instant tears. It is so unthinkable to me to wish any part of that living nightmare back. Maybe I need even more therapy, because my reaction to your post is visceral.

That said I understand why for you it was a blessing - I would urge you to consider a big life change so that you can have your slow life. This is your soul calling for connection, peace and quiet. You can have this minus the carnage of a lockdown. It does exist, a life that is not frantic and exhausting. You just need to find it.

I enjoyed the extra time I had at home during lockdown but was also lucky that no one I knew was seriously ill or worked in the NHS or was made redundant and I didn't have kids at home whilst trying to work. I also live in the country so could take the dogs for long walks and get out of the house. I would hate to go into lockdown now with a 2 and 4 year old, think I would be tearing my hair out pretty quickly!

No, I worked in community nursing at the time and it was busy, relentless and no joy at the weekends because I had to stay home.
i couldn’t visit my mum who was having cancer treatment and my children missed months and months of education whilst I juggled work and Google classroom.
no way would I ever comply again

I’m really sorry to hear what you went through, that sounds terrifying. I totally understand that my post might come across as insensitive in light of that, even though I did try to be clear that I know it was an awful time for many. I was just speaking from my personal experience, not trying to make light of anyone else’s.

Be very, very, very careful what you wish for.

😡

Did you enjoy Saint Boris and his merry men deliberately frightening the pants off the public?
Did you enjoy the public dobbing each other in, spying on each other?
Did you enjoy the government toying with our minds, and constantly moving the goalposts to make lockdown drag on and on and on, while we watched our businesses and children’s mental health crumble around us, and “new normal” implied that restrictions of one kind or another might be permanent?
”Three weeks.”
”Three more weeks.”
”We can turn this virus around in twelve weeks.”
”Normalish by Christmas.”
”it would be inhumane to cancel Christmas - oh, I’ve just done it.”
”it’s not lockdown, it’s tier 4.”
”significant normality by Easter.”
”irreversible roadmap to freedom on June.”
”did I say June? I meant July.”

2020 is the reason I will never trust any government again, for the rest of my life.
2020 is the reason millions of people now have mental health

You do realise that's a trauma response? The knee jerk defensiveness? Some of us still get a visceral reaction to things we experienced during lockdown, because we were navigating things like dying parents with no cohesive care and a Stasi like attitude from people we did have to encounter.

I'm glad some people had a "good experience", but I know far more who have residual trauma even now because things like death and funerals and serious illness, which are already awful to go through, had none of the usual support systems in place. And the "keep calm and carry on / blitz spirit" rhetoric was insulting when you had to scour the town for essential palliative care medication because pharmacies were running out, and bus drivers were demanding to know if your journey was "essential".

It was collective insanity on so many levels.

Not nostalgic, because of the harm it caused so many, but I did enjoy it

I don't think that's something you can really be unreasonable about.

You're talking specifically about how you felt about your personal experience of it.

If there was something positive you took from it then great. Find a way to recreate that feeling. Take some time for yourself. Have some time alone. Go lay in a field or something.

Think of it as having a retirement taster in advance since your actual retirement date will be delayed several years to pay for it.

I can't relate to the "pause in the pace of life" personally. I was manically busy and stressed to the hilt during the first lockdown. DH and I both had to work and both our jobs were made busier and more challenging by the pandemic, but because we had to combine working with home-schooling a 7 year old and looking after a toddler with SEND, the only way was for us to work in shifts from the crack of dawn until well into the night. It was horrible, and it took a long time for my Mental Health to recover, but we're lucky none of us became seriously ill with covid.

My asd DS was the happiest he had ever been. I miss how contented he was, but it was dreadful for so many people.

No. The weather was lovely, yes. But, that is as far as I would go.

YANBU. Not necessarily because I agree (although I actually do to an extent) but because that was your personal experience and you’re entitled to miss it. Lots of people seem to get very angry about this because it was such a terrible time for so many people. I know people for whom it was a nightmare. But looking at it in terms of my own experience, there were things I loved about it. This is despite the fact that I now have a child with severe and debilitating OCD, partly due to his anxiety about the pandemic and the uncertainty of it all. But I had no idea that was going to happen at the time and still have good memories about the first lockdown. For a few blissful months I didn’t wake up every morning with my heart pounding and my stomach lurching about the day ahead.

My mum died.

No, it was awful seeing my child suffer so much emotionally being out of school and isolated from his peers.

I have an aunt and cousin who absolutely loved it though - but they can’t identify with my experience and I can’t with them - everyone’s experience was different but for most I would say it was negative/devastating.

I did really like how the roads were almost empty and I could hear birds sing rather than noisy cars thundering past. Obviously though I didn’t like the reason behind the tranquillity of my town.

My dh didn't mind it. He was furloughed for a couple of weeks and then worked a shift pattern that was terrible. But the ones from his company that were furloughed longer were made redundant in a restructure so it was better he was asked to work.

I was working from home and looking after a just turned 3 year old and 5 year old. The children were bored and frustrated that I couldn't spend all my time with them, my manager kept pulling me up on not always being available and I asked what I was supposed to do about getting my young children food, changing nappies (until dd2 just decided to use the loo one day and never went back, that was great!) and having to get dd2 to have a nap as her sleep went to shit. And dd1 developed awful constipation and I couldnt get it across on all the bloody phone appointments how bad it was and she hadn't had a bowel movement for three weeks. It resulted in three weeks off school with movicol in the new term when they eventually were back and a while of needing gentle laxatives after that. Dds were bored and worried and missed school, nursery, grandparents and playgrounds.

It was horrendous and the worst part was I found out that I could have just requested special covid leave and just have time off paid. That was after I was signed off with stress for a couple of weeks which then added to time of sick the previous year and I was put on an improvement period even though my manager knew the previous time off had been depression related as I had tried to take my own life. It was fucking awful. And I am quite bitter about it still!

My 23 year old DS suffered from MH issues because of Lockdown.

My work colleague had 6 people at her DHs funeral after he died suddenly and unexpectedly

My best friend had to choose which 3 people should attend her dad's funeral apart from herself, her mum and her brother.

I work in social care with older people. It was a truly shit time.

I'm glad you didn't experience any of that, but for a lot of us it was horrendous

I’m so sorry 💔

It was awful. I was on mat leave with my 3 month old. Just when she was showing greater awareness in the world around her we were stuck indoors. No support network, no family closer than 100 miles away (was so jealous of bubbles/families 'meeting' in supermarkets), no visitors. Such a lonely time. She didn't know her family and was scared of them all when it was lifted. I remember one HV came out once to weigh her in the garden in PPE. Never saw anyone after that. I'd hate to go back.

I was very ill with covid and it took me a year to fully recover, sometimes I do wonder if I am still not quite right because of it. My DS was 18 in Lockdown and very much missed that sort of just young adult that I remember loving. I also knew a 34 year old schoolteacher who died, still teaching key workers children. Plus obviously fuck my BIL who is a nurse and walked miles back and forth to the hospital he worked in because he didn’t want to be on a bus as he was more susceptible to being infected and worried about passing it on. I remember my sister crying down the phone that he was leaving at 4am.

I get people may want to remove themselves from society but you don’t need lockdown to socially remove yourself from society.

I was furloughed so I appreciate I got time with my daughter that I never would have had but I am sociable and hated it. The only thing I miss is the traffic in my very busy city didnt put your blood pressure through the roof daily.

No, non, nope, bloody awful time.

That must have been so hard for you🙁