To miss the first lockdown?

[TidyOchreReader]

I know it was a tough time for many but I genuinely loved that first lockdown. I think about it all the time. There was something strangely blissful about slowing down, having fewer obligations and just focusing on connecting with people - even though we couldn’t physically see them. And when you did see someone, the gratitude was immense. AIBU to feel nostalgic for that time?

At the time, it's what my world was reduced to. All my external routines were removed. There was no escapism- TV and radio were so maudlin. Even reading something normally light like Harry Potter was depressingly realistic when Umbridge bans all the clubs and societies!

I wasn't free to fill the gaping void with new commitments because of the DCs.

What I needed was people and they were put out of reach. Friends were going through their own tough times, often the very opposite of mine; several working their guts out for the NHS. I couldn't travel across counties to see family, and they'd been terrified into submission anyway. After a couple of months there was nothing to connect over: nice weather, been for a walk, children sobbing over "home learning" yet again. And repeat.

MN was my cry out into the void that all was not OK, sometimes about my world but often about others struggling in a vast range of circumstances far more damaging than my own, and while my thoughts went down like a bucket of sick at the time, it was better than risking being pilloried in my own community for resisting.

I have got back out into the real world and picked up my life, but so much of that was not permitted until at least July 2021 when most restrictions eased. Some aspects of life took even longer as social confidence of organisations was so fragile. Things didn't really look normal until into 2022, then I was hit by a string of bereavements through the year.

Life has evolved on, but like certain dates trigger old griefs, there are some things that stir up old emotions of dark times. It doesn't rule my life, but I think it would still be very dangerous to forget the range of costs to those political decisions and what happens when people are propagandaed into obedient submission.

It's weird isnt it how everyone had different experiences of the same thing. I know plenty people who broke the rules in some way or plenty people who werent deeply affected by the rules or found ways to make things better. For some the rules made things a misery.

If a scandal breaks that the “crying nurses” on the news were actors (and there was no shortage of actors), I will not be surprised AT ALL..

We had about four months of the first main set of restrictions, then the four weeks in November 2020.

I am convinced that prompt action from a vaguely competent and not lazy Prime Minister and government, and nothing as stupid as eat inside to help spread the virus, it could have been no more than three months to start with, then two or at most three weeks in late September 2020. Schools could have resumed at least part-time in the summer term as well.

We would have had the good things, such as embedding wfh/hybrid working for more people and a period of quiet traffic, and still reduced the impact on hospitals as was the purpose of the restrictions. With much less impact on people's well being and mental health.

I guess that it depends on the disability.

DH wore hearing aids and his eyes were deteriorating. He needed a cataract op which - of course - he couldn't get during lockdown. He couldn't use tablets, etc to communicate with his family.

He developed a couple of additional health problems on top of his stroke-caused hemiparesis and I kept being asked to send in pictures electronically. The surgery would tell me to get the district nurse to examine one of the problems. The DN would say that the doctor needed to see.

The Doctor would look at the picture and tell the DN to look. In the end, we managed to book a GP visit for a week ahead. By the time the GP arrived,
my husband was on the floor waiting for an ambulance which took about 8 hrs to get here.

He survived hospital, but had to be taken off some of his heart meds because of his kidneys.

He died of a heart attack at home. I'll not go through all that - it genuinely is too traumatic - but when 'help' eventually got here, I had a house swarming with people in white suits and masks and didn't realise that some of them were police officers here to investigate the "unexpected death" of an elderly man with multiple health conditions because he'd had the temerity to die of a heart attack during the night at home instead of in a hospital.

Only when they were able to speak to our GP in the morning, would they believe that he was "under the care of a doctor".

I wasn't the only widow who experienced that. Very similar happened to another woman in nearby village. Her husband had terminal cancer and she had the same debacle, in spite of the fact that their GP had come in and certified the death.

The undertaker had already removed the body. The police entered her house and told her that she had no right to do that. (Nonsense, of course.)

The police seemed to think that they'd had an outbreak of carers murdering their patients.

And? Legitimately one can dispute the rose tinted sentimentality that op is reminiscing
is it her experience,yes? Is tone deaf? Yes
It's a bit like in a recession observing how marvellous it is as you are solvent and unaffected

Lockdowns blew open the veneer that we had in anyway an ‘equal’ society. As witnessed in this thread. To facilitate your pleasant lockdown a huge number of fellow citizens were put under unbelievable pressure. The effects on society have been huge and will continue until some acknowledgment of this. Personally I can’t unsee what happened between the people who were allowed a good pandemic and those who weren’t. There are plenty of people in this country who were and are happy to see other people suffer as long as they’re ok. So yes people can say how positively they feel about lockdowns, it’s honest at least, but should recognise it’s in incredibly poor taste to do so given how terrible the experience was for others.

Everything Bogroll said.

I do find it jarring when people post about what a wonderful time they had, because I spent the lockdown period trying to prevent myself and my daughter from having a nervous breakdown. Admitting at the time that you were struggling was an invitation to people on here to put the boot in, and I do remember some specific comments which still hurt to this day.

Some of you had a marvellous lock down because people on national minimum wage and people from BAME groups had to do the donkey work of care social care retail , transport and deliveries . Whilst other people were comfortably able to stay home on full wages at the same time ,whilst people NNW and low wage were putting themselves at risk to meet the needs of solvent mc at home.

Same. Loved it, but don’t say so out loud, as so many had such a terrible time.

The day after my husband died, I phoned round family and friends.

I recall one friend offered to let me sleep at her place that night, but said that I'd have to leave early in the morning so that the neighbours didn't see me. (She was already in a bubble with her daughter.)

I declined. Didn't want to get her into trouble.

Have you any idea what it's like to lose the love of your life and to be left in a house on your own for months on end?

I remember that I was allowed to go into the bank to sort out DH's affairs. I recollect that once her office door was closed, the manageress offered to give me a hug. I declined - didn't want to get her into trouble if anyone saw - but I'll never forget her kindness.

I am very sorry you had that horrible experience @WearyAuldWumman. Compassion and perspective seemed to fly out the window for two years.

How would the OP not enjoying lockdown and being miserable throughout it have prevented all of that happening...it wouldn't have. To try and guilt trip her isn't fair. Horrible things happened but none of that is to do with the OP enjoying lockdown.

Thinking of of others whilst going through your own traumatic time is a quality second to none.
Sorry for your loss.

And of course there was the conspicuous look at me clapping for the nhs
Not so supportive when we requested a wage rise or took industrial action. complaints aplenty about the strikes

Just pointing out that it's not a case of people either having a great time or having a hellish time. It's very varied. So its not tone death as it was so different for everyone. It's not like everyone else suffered and not OP. Plenty people were largely unaffected by lockdown.

How were people happy to see others suffer? If you were someone lucky enough not to be badly affected - in what way could those individual people have stopped what was happening?

Largely unaffected?remote funerals. Care home closed. school and nursery closed.workplace places closed NHS critical alert
How exactly are you measuring affected?
Do you mean people at home on full wage whilst others did the heavy lifting and were exposed to the risks?

When I say there were plenty people not largely affected by lockdown I mean anyone who didnt lose a loved one, who didnt need the services you describe, the people who hated lockdown but didnt have any long term MH issues, the people who hated WFH, isolation etc but went back to normal once it all ended. Not everyone was badly affected by lockdown. Surely you must know plenty people who werent badly affected?

Look, I'm fairly articulate, and I think I've done a fair job of explaining my reasoning for this particular subject under the lockdown umbrella.

The vibe I'm getting from you is reminiscent of the posters on the now demised "State of Fear" threads, where we just wanted to discuss a particular book and subjects that arose from that. There were a clutch of rather superior, oh so resigned yet patient posters, as you would be with a small child, who would pick pick pick at the most innocuous or simple question and try and get the person asking to either lose their temper, or out themselves as a 5G pigeon fancier.

I've come across the same tactic in real life from some in authoritative positions - the goal is to make you feel stupid at best, and as if you're losing your mind at even better in their books.

If you're not a bot, or AI itself, and you haven't looked into the things I've brought up, there's material out there, not much I grant you, but it's there. If you think I'm a paranoid nut job, fine, I've been regarded as worse. If you think there's no relevance to this thread, also fine, I on the other hand think analysis of lockdown is tied into the tech boom and it's interesting.

But honestly, the incessant one line questions are a bit - well - Skynet scraping forenemies of the state 😆

You are the one being tone-deaf coming on a thread where people discussed the positive impact it had on them.

Why do you think you can dispute their positive experience? We get it, yours was terrible. So? It doesn't mean everybody was the same. Someone having a good time has no impact whatsoever on your memories.

I guarantee you that your "negative" experience was anywhere near as bad as what others experienced in other countries.

Yeah sure it was lovely- we both worked as a key workers, trying to juggle work while kids stayed home and homeschooling while dealing with constant messages from teachers what we need to do and when she needed that back.

Glad it’s all over.

Well I'm sorry I'm not intelligent enough for you. I'm not going to ask a complicated in depth question on something where all I'm trying to do is understand the basics of what someone is saying.

I have enough friends who DIDN"T work from home who really enjoyed going to work, empty roads, quiet streets and they didn't lose on the social aspect either.

I have a friend who was getting bored and decided to start a delivery business. Made a lot of money! Travelled a lot. Good for him.

Of course a lot of people were largely unaffected, and some were positively affected. If you find it triggering, don't go on positive threads.

Not really, I had to work being a 'key worker'. It was nice taking DC to school though, there were only a few children in the whole school until people later cottoned on and found ways to get their DC in school doing subsequent lockdowns!

I don't miss not being able to get fresh food at the supermarkets. Pensioners were allowed first dibs but some unfairly were getting stuff for their wider family. And having to cook every time with limited ingredients, basically with all that was left on the shelves.

And it could be so isolating for those on their own.