Finally spoke to the neighbours..WIU?

[reallyrelieved]

Feeling quite relieved but now wondering if I was U…?
We live in a detached bungalow with 2 DC under 5. Our neighbours are lovely people but before we moved in they had spent years living next to an old guy who it sounds like barely moved.

My DS aged 5’s window is opposite their kitchen door. They have their door open all day and evening until, at this time of year, about 10pm, with a TV on loud and a phone which rings very very loudly. The phone does a tune like it’s played in a piano type thing. You would hear the phone ringing down the street. They are obviously a bit deaf but my son said it wakes him up when his little window is open and this has been the case for 4 years now since we moved in. I have often wondered why they can’t close the door over, knowing he’s a few feet away, and open the windows (facing the other direction at the back of the kitchen).

Today, I mentioned it to the man, I just came up with the courage when we saw him out front, I loathe complaining and get very nervous doing so, but I feel sooooo relieved to have got this off my chest. I feel now they will just keep us in mind a bit more and that they have hopefully gone from a bit inconsiderate, to a bit more considerate neighbours.

Only issue is, DH didn’t want to say anything, he is also a non-complainer in life, and so now I’m wondering if I was U? Am I being too nice here?

I think you are very unreasonable! I also live with my doors and windows open. Noise is part of life.

YABU to expect your neighbours to keep their door closed. You bought a bungalow in a residential area, not the middle of nowhere, of course you're going to hear some noise.

I hate having my kitchen door closed, it makes me feel very hemmed in during the summer. Most people surely want to pop in and out of their gardens and enjoy the weather?

Yes, you're being unreasonable attempting to dictate how he chooses to ventilate his own house! The noise is another story, they shouldn't be inconsiderate.

So you have elderly neighbours, who have lived there a long time, and their longstanding usual enjoyment of their home includes having their back door open, yet you expect them to now start shutting it. Yes YABU. Shut your son’s window, get him a little air con unit and leave them to their routine.
A lot of people leave their back doors open til late in warm weather, including me and my neighbours.

YABU, if for some reason they prefer to open the back door than the windows that is absolutely fine, why don’t you close your DC’s window once he goes to bed and use a fan?

If I'd lived in a bungalow for years and was elderly, my heart would sink at kids moving in next door. Old people in bungalows expect their neighbours to be their peers.
Have you ever considered that?
Maybe move to an estate house where you would have like minded people around you with small kids.

So they need to close their door so your ds can have his window open and it’s taken you 4 years to even say anything?

Like my mother said to me when her neighbours were stopping my toddler having her afternoon nap, "The world doesn't stop because you had a child."

They can have their door open, especially in the heat.