Finally spoke to the neighbours..WIU?

[reallyrelieved]

Feeling quite relieved but now wondering if I was U…?
We live in a detached bungalow with 2 DC under 5. Our neighbours are lovely people but before we moved in they had spent years living next to an old guy who it sounds like barely moved.

My DS aged 5’s window is opposite their kitchen door. They have their door open all day and evening until, at this time of year, about 10pm, with a TV on loud and a phone which rings very very loudly. The phone does a tune like it’s played in a piano type thing. You would hear the phone ringing down the street. They are obviously a bit deaf but my son said it wakes him up when his little window is open and this has been the case for 4 years now since we moved in. I have often wondered why they can’t close the door over, knowing he’s a few feet away, and open the windows (facing the other direction at the back of the kitchen).

Today, I mentioned it to the man, I just came up with the courage when we saw him out front, I loathe complaining and get very nervous doing so, but I feel sooooo relieved to have got this off my chest. I feel now they will just keep us in mind a bit more and that they have hopefully gone from a bit inconsiderate, to a bit more considerate neighbours.

Only issue is, DH didn’t want to say anything, he is also a non-complainer in life, and so now I’m wondering if I was U? Am I being too nice here?

A through draft is much more effective than having any number of windows open in one aspect. Why can't you move your son?

Jesus - talk about entitlement. You are completely unreasonable. You want them to shut a door or window, why not shut your child's window, then he won’t hear them.

You are not unreasonable to say anything. Neighbours are considering it. Don't stress.

If things don't improve you need to look for your own solutions for your DS as recommended in here.

They could close their kitchen door but may not want to, we have ours open a lot because our back garden is completely enclosed and the dog likes to go in and out. You could move your DS to a different bedroom or keep his window closed. Presumably you have valid reasons for not doing so. Hopefully you and your neighbours can find a resolution.

We have our back door open when we’re in probably for 9 months of the year. That’s just how we live. You’re massively entitled asking them to shut doors and open windows to suit you

I'm guessing the difference between the kitchen door being open and the 2 kitchen windows being open is that they can't walk through the windows. The first thing I do in the morning is open my kitchen door and it is often the last thing to be shut at night. I think you should look for an alternative solution along the lines of shutting your son's window and investing in a small air con or fan.

Why white noise and a silent fan instead of a regular fan which is white noise?

We have 3 bedrooms and 2DC so someone has to sleep in the side bedroom unfortunately or we’d move him. It’s not large enough for a double bed or we might’ve swapped with him. My other DC is 1 and wakes up regularly so needs to be away from DS and next to us so we’re at the front of the house. I wish we had another room, or I wish neighbours would just make an effort to close the door and open the windows for us.

I do. It's wide open until I go to bed.

my neighbours are getting increasingly hard of hearing as they are getting older & he has a booming voice which is getting louder, it's a bit annoying, but it's life. (When you can't afford a remote house in the countryside).

id find it very weird you bringing it up 4 years later in a heatwave!!

'Make the effort'

you mean be hot & uncomfortable for you.

Yes, this

No , she explained she wants them to open the 2 large windows on the other side of the property from her son’s bedroom.

& this

I wish neighbours would just make an effort to close the door and open the windows for us.

Maybe they wish you’d shut your sons window for him.

I wouldn't be in the least bit bothered if you asked this of me OP, and would probably oblige. Unless your son disturbs me of course. If he's regularly shouting, screaming, kicking balls around in the garden for example, I may be less enthusiastic about helping you out.

So, going by previous advice always given, when someone is complaining about neighbours noise and sleep - you shut your kids window, you play white noise, they wear ear plugs, and you suck it up.

You are not in a position to 'justify' it. It's not you doing the 'thing'

they don't need to 'justify' having their own back door open.

whether you di or not is irreverent to what they choose to do

stop acting as though you are entitled to make them do this, you're not.

but a fan for DS & keep his window shut. Ear plugs?? Inconvenience yourself & swap the kids rooms.

just stop imagining they must close their door first you.

I'm sure I'm falling for a joke thread. But some of you are treating it seriously 😒 so I will too. Close your sons window and put an Aircon unit in there. You can't ask people to close their doors or windows, this is for you to fix

Close your own window

If we are home ours is open unless raining.
Can you not close your window and use a fan

YANBU. The sound of the phone noise you describe would really irritate me and the fact that their noise is waking up your son is just inconsiderate.

They don’t have to do anything for you. They’ve turned the phone down but I wouldn’t close my door if I was them. Shut your sons window is the most obvious solution!

You don't need to understand it though. It's their door and they can keep it open if they want to.

hopefully they will be a little more mindful of the noise that carries though.

I don't expect people to restrict their lives - absent anti-social behavour - just because i have a child.

When mine were small i was as considerate of the neighbours as i could be, but the day he asked me to send my kids in - 33° and they were laughing - because he wanted to sleep in the sun was one of the times i said "respectfully no, i will bring them in if it gets loud and screamy" (his wife came out and gave them ice lollies and said "don't mind him")

now my neighbours have 3 young boys and it gets very loud, but i don't expect them to be unheard, and likewise i don't expect them to complain if i mow my grass on a saturday, even if it's their baby's nap time

And close the door. She very clearly wants them to close the door.