To create a fuss about my son not having access to water today in school

[Icantfeelmyface]

Hello .
My 8 year old son is a bit of a fidgeter, and has difficulty with keeping still . He has a replacement teacher for the past 6 weeks and he has struggled with various issues relating to her " shouting at him all the time " and him feeling picked on everyday no matter what he does .. won't get into the detail but meeting was held and she reassured me that this wasn't the case and she works on praise as well .. .. he told me after the meeting the teacher said in front of the class " why you telling your mum that I'm picking on you "?... Decided to leave things and move on... However today he comes home from school and tells me he had no water the whole day as the teacher said he was fidgeting too much with his bottle and told him to put it away from the table . All the other kids had their bottles on their table . He has said he had a few sips at lunch time and then nothing until after school club at 4 pm 😳
Am I being unreasonable to email the head teacher ?

Yes, this is the headline. It’s intimidating and designed to prevent him telling tales again.

YABU.

No schools I’ve worked in or know others who work in would allow anyone to have water on the tables in the first place. Far too distracting, risks of spillages on work, etc. Standard practice to remove anything generally which is causing a distraction.

I taught Reception for almost 10 years. I constantly reminded all children to drink from their water bottle on the way out to each break, especially during the hot weather. I of course by no means could have or should have forced children to drink a certain amount. Parents often take everything their child says as gospel, when children often don’t relay the full facts, not even in a deliberate way- they are little and forget the full details of interactions. I get that parents want their children to drink, and school staff definitely want that too, but are unfairly distrusted regardless.

Parents who complained the most often sent in squash or forgot the bottle altogether, and forgot all the times school staff filled up an alternative, we always provided bottled water and plastic cups on trips as so many would forget on those days even, when we were wandering round a hot zoo. Not saying you do this, but I’m sure in context drink was not unnecessarily withheld from your child across the day.

I think this is part of the concern. That he's being singled out. Would be interesting to know if he's been in constant trouble before this new teacher arrived.

So your child gets his water bottle taken away because he's being a pain in the arse and somehow your first thought is to blame the teacher. Of course.

If you really did think the teacher said that to him about him telling on her, you should have spoken to the head again immediately!

Not having his water bottle during class time is irrelevant though. You're focussed on the wrong thing.

In the last school I worked in, we introduced allowing the children to have water bottles on their desk.
it lasted a day.

I'm not 100% convinced I'm buying what this child is saying.

There’s a difference between water bottle being moved and he can still have it if he is thirsty and asks and removed and not allowed it at all, even when he asks. I would remind him not to fiddle and if it does get taken away and he needs a drink, then to ask at a sensible point in the lesson. Then if that’s refused, have a word. I know years ago, no one was allowed and we managed, but we have moved on and it’s now the norm to have access to water. Lots of schools just have them in a tray so you can get it an appropriate point in the lessons to stop them fiddling and spills, as it’s a pain and don’t get me started on the bloody frozen ones and the noise………

Kids have bottles on tables now? We just got to drink at breaks and we didn't die. Come to think of it, my kids never have bottles on tables. They drink at lunch breaks at their schools too.

exactly, kids in trouble aren't known for being reliable at recounting events.
A brisk, 'well stop messing around, and the teacher won't have any reason to 'pick' on you, will they' is exactly the conversation parents have had with kids for the last 100yrs.

'" why you telling your mum that I'm picking on you "?'

really ?

are you sure it wasn't:

" why are you telling your mum that I'm picking on you "?

Oh, the joys of water bottles….
You either get the creakle crankle of the deliberately sucked in and then released sound of the plastic bottle or the eek, eek, eek of the ones which have a stopper being screwed back in.
It’s truly harmonious to the ears.
And yes, I don’t die of dehydration at school either.
Find something complaint-worthy, OP.

I cannot tell you how much valuable class time wasted with fucking water bottles. And Stanley cups. And stupid blasted AirUp bottles. Best policy I've ever had was the children had a school branded bottle each, in a tray which was taken out at break time and lunch time, no access unless you have a medical note or at my discretion.

Do. Not. Make. A. Fuss. There's a risk the teacher's eyes might roll so far to the back of her head they get stuck.

Lots of praise when he's had a good day and encourage him to find ways around the fidgeting that don't distract other people. He does have my sympathy there but difficult to say how to help unless you know reliably what fidgeting he's doing. Swinging his legs? Fair enough. Tapping? Distracting.

It’s either metal ones clanking on the floor or plastic ones making a scrunching sound. So annoying. However did we cope in the past without this constant need to sip water and ask to be excused for the toilet every single lesson. Could the two possibly be linked?

I'm with you op. I certainly didn't go from 12.30 - 4pm without a drink today. Let alone in a likely stuffy warm classroom for all that time.
And just cos he didn't drink loads at lunch time cos he wasn't thirsty, it doesn't mean he couldn't conceivably be thirsty AFTER that. It's like when kids ask for the loo at 3pm and get told why didn't you go at lunch time!

Op is check with the teacher what the situation was. Perhaps it was moved but she assumed he'd ask for a drink if needed.

Yes he was fiddling but that doesn’t mean he should be denied access to water!!

The correct thing to do would’ve been to ask him to put his bottle under the table so he’s not tempted to fiddle but can still access it. He may have been thirstier at break/lunch but kids very often forget to drink so that can’t be used against him. I would flip too

Exactly the same here, we weren't guzzling water all day long back in my 60s/70s schooldays, and yet somehow we survived.

I actually loved it. I hated tap water and preferred the milk. I was gasping for a drink at the end of the day and teacher would always offer out the spares, room temperature having been left out all day in the classroom. Beautiful creamy milky joy! I still love a glass of milk now!

Too orangey for crows…

A lot of primary schools are weirdly obsessed with getting kids to glug absurd amounts of water (I know, I’ve taught in them). Loads of primaries allow kids to keep water bottles on their desks all year round. Whole generations of children are growing up to believe there’ll be dire consequences for their health unless they’re glugging from a water bottle all the bloody time. I think all this bullshit started about 25 years ago when Brain Gym had its moment in the sun, as drinking stupid amounts of water was a key part of the pseudo-scientific Brain Gym philosophy. Brain Gym and it’s ridiculous claims seem to have disappeared from primary schools but it’s water obsession sadly has not.

That did make me laugh!

No, neither did we. We had water or juice before we left home and then at 8.45/9am at school. Again at 10.30am. Again with lunch at 12.30/1pm and again, just before we were due to go home, if we had an aftershool club to stay on for.

None of us collapsed, prostrate upon the ground. This current fad for constant hydration has become ridiculous. (Who are we - the Lady Cassandra?) Four decent tumblers of water during the day at school and then more when you get home is quite enough, unless you want your children to spend all day asking for the loo.

😂 I mean, it’s a thing. All kids take a water bottle to school. It’s not ridiculous really, just to save the teachers having to keep getting water. Do you think it’s ridiculous that we need to hydrate? Or just that they have to bring their own water?

Completely agree. I teach secondary and spend all day listening to kids scrunch their plastic water bottles to make as much noise as possible. The kids literally suck on them all day long, and are outraged if it's suggested they might put it down for a moment to listen to an instruction. They're a huge, huge distraction. Then, of course, because they've drunk water all day, they need the toilet ... and we all know the controversy surrounding toilet access in secondary schools.

I went to school all the way to 2005 without the constant need to suck water all day long. I was about to say that wasn't even that long ago, but actually it is 😳!

In the 11 years I was at school, I wasn’t allowed to have any sort of drinks in lessons. We went to the water fountains at breaks.

Yes, you were given drinks from the school. Now they take their own. It’s the same thing but coming from their own bottle and not the teacher. You were not a martyr depriving yourself of liquid all day! You just didn’t take your own because it was a different process back then. But some people love a “back in my day reply” don’t they 🙈