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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are all government workers the same? (Bar the odd minority)

130 replies

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 13:59

By government workers i mean council, NHS, police, Ambulance.
Last night we had to go to A&E as relative was suffering from stroke symptoms. He didnt want to go alone so i accompanied. As he was being triaged the HCA asked for the blue folder and i handed it and she looked at me like i handed her a shit and said "ooooooo.... kkkkkk". I am type 1 diabetic and as relative was being assessed I started suffering a very bad hypo. I thought i was going to collapse. I think it was the combination of heat and insulin working too quickly. I said "im really sorry, im having a hypo and I need to sit" the HCA said "how do you know?" Considering I have had diabetes more than half my life I knew the symptoms and my sensor had alarmed me. But for some reason this hypo was making me feel really bad. She replied "if you want to be seen you will have to sign in" no compassion, empathy. Just stone cold nasty. I replied "I don't want to be seen i just need to sit" she did the same "oooo... kkkk" the room starting going really bright and I thought I need to get out. So I stumbled out holding the walls. I sat in a chair. The HCA asked a nurse to do my blood glucose(i think because she didnt believe me). The nurse came along grabbed my hand, didnt clean my hand, did blood glucose (from the wrong finger) and shoved my hand back at me then read out the glucose which were low. Then stomped off. I dont even know if she used a clean needle! I just sat and ate my jelly babies thinking please dont collapse as i didnt fancy that infront of a room full of strangers. It just seemed very harsh and cold to treat someone this way. I saw police treating another mental health patient the same. In my past I have had abhorrent behaviour from ambulance crew. Council workers are rude and dismissive of any issues anyone has. It's like the country has reached a massive disparity in power with the average working man being treated like a turd that would be better off dead. Why is everyone in these jobs like this? They don't think reasonably. You could explain a situation that seems completely reasonable and they will find a reason that it's not reasonable. I have had experiences like this time and again.
I have also worked as an qualified NHS worker(dietitian) and worked amongst them and they are some of the most cruel, uncaring and bullying type to work with. Towards patients and colleagues. It's a toxic environment. Full of bullies. Why? What fuels this? In a career where you are meant to care, you get people devoid of any humanity treating people in need. As I said, you get the odd person who clearly went into it because they want to help people, but not often.

OP posts:
jetlag92 · 19/06/2025 22:05

I agree _ I'm a HCP and managed to work for the NHS for about 6 months - the utter apathy, wastefulness and fundamental job neglect was mind blowing. I'm really not sure why the managers don't actually manage their staff.....anyway went back to private practice

OneFineDay13 · 19/06/2025 22:27

Have experienced the same not often but when I went to an antenatal appointment years ago, on the way there I got stung on my eyelid by a bee or wasp. I just happened to mention to the nurse and she straight away said oh I can't check that you need to see the doctor. I wasn't asking for her to actually do anything just see if it was red looking. uncaring cow lol

Splicer · 19/06/2025 22:30

Yes, every single public sector worker is exactly like this.

ScholesPanda · 19/06/2025 22:34

It's odd that in all these interactions- whoever they're with, whether they took place in the OPs career or her personal life, the common denominator is the OP.

I feel like that might say something, but I can't put my finger on what....

TizerorFizz · 19/06/2025 22:39

@Ponoka7 And how many £billions of our taxes are paid out every year due to negligence by the NHS? Nearly £3 billion last year.

If any of you have the misfortune to visit (or worse be admitted to) a ward for the elderly you will be shocked. It IS shocking.

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 22:41

Locutus2000 · 19/06/2025 14:19

I understand you are upset but to generalise dissatisfaction with certain individuals to encompass all public servants is grossly offensive and you know it.

As I said "a small minority are not and do the job because they want to help people". But very few are... and to quote "you know that".

OP posts:
Cel119 · 19/06/2025 22:42

NeedForSpeed · 19/06/2025 14:22

Well, none of those people are actually employed by the government but hey, you do you....

The NHS are the government... the police are the government... the council are the government... all are funded by the government which is funded by tax and national insurance... they're the government.

OP posts:
deadpantrashcan · 19/06/2025 22:44

Ninjasan · 19/06/2025 14:29

YANBU. I am not from UK so to me HNS is a service like any other. People are being paid for doing their jobs, they chose their profession. They have good pensions, sick benefits, maternity packages. They should provide customer service. Many of them don't. They don't see it as a business and us as customers so they don't have to be nice or just simply profesional. Civil servants just want to get back to Covid and lockdown. Work productivity is down. Again, they almost unsackable so there is no motivation to be nice to people causing them problems and more work (customers).

Please don’t speak on behalf of all civil servants and claim to know what they want.

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 22:48

CriticalOverthinking · 19/06/2025 14:24

What has the hypo got to do with a blue folder?

Maybe they assumed you were trying to get seen without waiting and were just at the end of their tether with rude chancers? A&E specifically get awful treatment from people, can you blame them for being desensitised.

gross generalisation though and horrible attitude toward some very underpaid and poorly treated people.

The blue folder was my relatives and i was saying how she reacted to me handing it over. This was triage which means there was very little wait e.g. the initial assessment. No queue to jump. I even said i did not want any treatment i just needed to treat my hypo and sit down.
Lol I have worked for the NHS and have personal experience of working amongst these people 24/7. Speaking about patients behind their back like theyre a number or vermin. Only really caring about saving their backs. Bullying colleagues. It seems that that's their default and kindness(if they have to put it on) is the act for most of them.

OP posts:
FumingTRex · 19/06/2025 22:49

The A and E person sounds brusque, but was probably very busy. When she asked “how do you know” was she not asking your symptoms? So that she could assess how unwell you were? And saying you need to check in is just a fact. It sounds like you are reading something into that interaction that wasnt there. Everyone in A and E is ill, they still need to be given instructions to check in and hand over folders. It sounds like you wanted it dressed up in lots of flowery and sympathetic language.

Theunamedcat · 19/06/2025 22:54

Honestly it's inefficient service made worse

My son had a rash he has a history of eczema so I tried a few creams I also put him on antihistamine cream and pills didn't help so I spoke to a pharmacist who said try the Dr's

I call the Dr's the reception tell me I need to speak to a pharmacist I explained I've done this ahhh but you haven't spoken to OURS ok so I wait for a call get a call he tells me antihistamine is the way to go I say I've done that ahhh you need to speak to the Dr's I wait for a call back I get the reception again telling me I need to try antihistamine for two weeks I say done that ahh I will get the pharmacist to ring you back he rings back said I can't help you because you need a doctor (spoiler I already knew that) I said YOU need to tell the Dr's that because they keep telling me to speak to you eventually everyone agrees I can speak to a doctor who rings me and asks me if ive seen a pharmacist in person I say yes runs through everything else I've already done and says I can't do anything on the phone why have you made a phone appointment (this is evening by now ive been at this all day) tell you what ring in at 8am tomorrow we will get you in 8am I call...have you seen our pharmacist? Eventually I get in to see a Dr he gives him cream which tbh doesn't really work but I really REALLY don't want to do all that again

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 22:55

FumingTRex · 19/06/2025 22:49

The A and E person sounds brusque, but was probably very busy. When she asked “how do you know” was she not asking your symptoms? So that she could assess how unwell you were? And saying you need to check in is just a fact. It sounds like you are reading something into that interaction that wasnt there. Everyone in A and E is ill, they still need to be given instructions to check in and hand over folders. It sounds like you wanted it dressed up in lots of flowery and sympathetic language.

No i am not. Someone else went into be assessed by her and an argument started between her and that patient . They were saying that she has a problem with her patients because her tone was awful with them. She grabbed his broken foot so hard he screamed out in agony then said it didn't need an x ray. He came out and his whole foot was blue. Because he complained about her attitude she had to get someone else to treat him and the other person said he needed an x ray. Another patient had a similar interaction after this also. She was treating everyone like she was some evil leader and decide whether you get treated based on if she likes you.
If I say im hypo and I just need to sit down AND I don't want treatment, my symptoms are not any of her concern. Just believe someone when they say that. It's a seat I wanted(for fear of falling down). Nothing else. Hurry or not. You practice hygienically and professionally.
Flowery sympathise language. One of the core values of the NHS is compassion and empathy. Get real c*.

OP posts:
chachahide · 19/06/2025 22:57

I know some very lovely and selfless people who work for the NHS and in the police, maybe you’re focusing on the negatives too much? We often find what we’re looking for.

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:04

TizerorFizz · 19/06/2025 22:39

@Ponoka7 And how many £billions of our taxes are paid out every year due to negligence by the NHS? Nearly £3 billion last year.

If any of you have the misfortune to visit (or worse be admitted to) a ward for the elderly you will be shocked. It IS shocking.

I worked on an elderly ward. There was a patient that was not eating. i asked him why. He showed me his arms and they were stuck in a kind of ebent position due to arthritis. I said "can you not reach?" he said "no. I cant". I asked him if he would like me to hold his supplement (energy shake) for him and he can drink from the straw. He nodded enthusiastically. He was a really sweet gentleman. I sat there with him whilst he slowly finished the drink. This wasnt part my job but I really wanted him to get some nutrients in him. I spoke to the matron, explaining the situation and her response was "oh take no notice of him. He does like to get sympathy"... I looked at her shocked and i said "no I honestly think he needs to be on a red tray system or at the very least make sure his tray is close enough to him" she ignored me. i put it in his notes and actions for him.
A red tray system is where someone assists in feeding the patient if, because of a physical reason, they cannot.
This is just one story of many I have.

OP posts:
Hotflushesandchilblains · 19/06/2025 23:09

If I say im hypo and I just need to sit down AND I don't want treatment, my symptoms are not any of her concern. Just believe someone when they say that. It's a seat I wanted(for fear of falling down). Nothing else. Hurry or not. You practice hygienically and professionally.
Flowery sympathise language. One of the core values of the NHS is compassion and empathy. Get real c
.*

How many people go in self diagnosing and get it wrong? And you were asking for something but not what you did not want....... And speculating on whether it was a dirty needle. I was initially sympathetic to your upset, although wondered how reasonable you were and how you actually present. But the insult at the end of your post tells me everything I need to know about who is the problem here.

Pippa12 · 19/06/2025 23:12

I really think if your encountering issues at every walk of life you need to look at the common denominator.

Of course she used a clean lancet, they cannot be reused. I imagine you know this as a diabetic.

HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal · 19/06/2025 23:14

ScholesPanda · 19/06/2025 22:34

It's odd that in all these interactions- whoever they're with, whether they took place in the OPs career or her personal life, the common denominator is the OP.

I feel like that might say something, but I can't put my finger on what....

This.

weird eh?

I have encountered many public servants/NHS workers and a tiny number have been like this. Wonder why? 🙄🤷‍♀️

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:19

What has lonely got to do with selfless? No, I don't look for negatives. They were all treating the patients like a burden. Funny thing is that without patients they won't have a job. This is what I mean by when i explain a perfectly reasonable situation (yes, i was treated rudely and without compassion or empathy) and someone will say IM in the wrong. It's these type I'm talking about.
I'm in the wrong for pointing out what experiences i have had at the hands of these "professionals". I'm in the wrong for having a hypo. I'm in the wrong for expecting my hands to be cleaned. I'm in the wrong for expecting to be treated the way that aligns with the NHS core values.

The NHS core values are respect and dignity, commitment to quality of care, compassion and empathy, working together for patients, and improving lives.

OP posts:
Northernlights19 · 19/06/2025 23:20

I don't think they're all bad or even a majority but enough are! I've worked in care homes for years and I had a lady come in who was "end of life". It turned our she needed assistance with meals and sometimes drinks but the hospital wouldn't do it so she was basically starved while she was in there. When she came to us we assisted her and she lived another 5 years.

Paramedics can be hit and miss. Some have been great and compassionate. Some treat us like idiots because we're carers.

Police I haven't dealt with much but when I was raped multiple times by my ex they smirked and asked what I was expecting them to do about it and there was no point wasting their time.

When I was having a probable miscarriage (sadly it was confirmed at a later date) the doctor said "I'm not scanning you now because you're probably just having a miscarriage, you can come back next week". At the scan the sonographer said "don't forget your partner will be upset and you'll need to take care of him not just yourself".

I don't understand why people who don't care do these jobs. The second I stop enjoying care will be the second I find a different job as it isn't fair to those in my care.

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:20

HedwigIsMySpiritAnimal · 19/06/2025 23:14

This.

weird eh?

I have encountered many public servants/NHS workers and a tiny number have been like this. Wonder why? 🙄🤷‍♀️

I'm not a public servant.

OP posts:
Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:23

Pippa12 · 19/06/2025 23:12

I really think if your encountering issues at every walk of life you need to look at the common denominator.

Of course she used a clean lancet, they cannot be reused. I imagine you know this as a diabetic.

They can be reused. I know this as a diabetic. What it looked like she used was the lancet in the pen type device which are reusable. Which I thought weird as in the hospitals they have disposable ones. These disposable ones are only used in hospitals. They aren't given out on prescription.

OP posts:
Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:28

Hotflushesandchilblains · 19/06/2025 23:09

If I say im hypo and I just need to sit down AND I don't want treatment, my symptoms are not any of her concern. Just believe someone when they say that. It's a seat I wanted(for fear of falling down). Nothing else. Hurry or not. You practice hygienically and professionally.
Flowery sympathise language. One of the core values of the NHS is compassion and empathy. Get real c
.*

How many people go in self diagnosing and get it wrong? And you were asking for something but not what you did not want....... And speculating on whether it was a dirty needle. I was initially sympathetic to your upset, although wondered how reasonable you were and how you actually present. But the insult at the end of your post tells me everything I need to know about who is the problem here.

When you say to someone they expect flowers and sympathy youre being the patronising one and deserve any insult you get back.
How do you think someone presents when they're stumbling all over the place? Entitled, is that what youre accusing me of? (Exactly the attitude of the veey people i am talking about) Or Unwell? How would I present anyway other way than unwell if I am in fact, unwell? What does that even mean. I could barely talk. And yeh, I didnt self diagnose. I had a sensor on that alarmed 3.5 with an arrow down. This was just before I said I need to sit down. If you read my post you would know this.

OP posts:
Hoardasauruskaren · 19/06/2025 23:36

HCP here! Sorry you had such a bad experience . We get so much rude & aggressive behaviour, most people wouldn’t believe it ! Just the other day a young student nurse here was pushed to the ground by a grown man as she tried to walk away from him screaming & shouting in her face. And this was from the relative of a patient attending a routine outpatient appointment so absolutely no eccuse of being stressed, scared or upset. This is a regular occurrence & maybe staff get ground down by it. A&E staff especially get assaulted on a regular basis. One of our consultants has returned a shadow of himself after being attacked by a drug addict patient. We have to clear up the messes caused by poor government policy etc. Mist of us are trying our best but it’s never enough!

Cel119 · 19/06/2025 23:36

Northernlights19 · 19/06/2025 23:20

I don't think they're all bad or even a majority but enough are! I've worked in care homes for years and I had a lady come in who was "end of life". It turned our she needed assistance with meals and sometimes drinks but the hospital wouldn't do it so she was basically starved while she was in there. When she came to us we assisted her and she lived another 5 years.

Paramedics can be hit and miss. Some have been great and compassionate. Some treat us like idiots because we're carers.

Police I haven't dealt with much but when I was raped multiple times by my ex they smirked and asked what I was expecting them to do about it and there was no point wasting their time.

When I was having a probable miscarriage (sadly it was confirmed at a later date) the doctor said "I'm not scanning you now because you're probably just having a miscarriage, you can come back next week". At the scan the sonographer said "don't forget your partner will be upset and you'll need to take care of him not just yourself".

I don't understand why people who don't care do these jobs. The second I stop enjoying care will be the second I find a different job as it isn't fair to those in my care.

Thankyou. I am glad you have given some real life experiences to back your answer. It seems the majority who are in disagreement have had very little experience of being around these people and the very real negative energy they bring.
I am not the first and won't be the last to say NHS, Police, Councils are toxic environments and its only getting worse.

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 19/06/2025 23:39

@Cel119 The nhs staff do not have to attract customers by offering a great service! Those in need roll up to them in huge numbers. If people had a better option they would take it. Your last para at 23.19 is totally abandoned on wards for the elderly.

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