DH won’t take medication

[Foalypoly]

Short version: DH gets severe side effects of any medication he takes and refuses to take anything other than paracetamol post surgery.

Long version:
DH had hip surgery over two weeks ago. We have an11 month old baby and a dog, I’ve been doing everything for everyone which has been tough going.

I’ll probably get flamed for this but I’m becoming more and more frustrated with DH’s reluctance to take any medication. He has always been this way for as long as I know him. He reads the side effects and I feel like he convinces himself he has them.

He was on dihydrocodeine which he said made him feel very drowsy and nauseous (understandable) so was given naproxen. He said they also made him feel drowsy and nauseous, fair enough. He stopped taking all pain relief except paracetamol and then complained of being sore.

He then took an infection unfortunately so got given antibiotics and again suffered from nausea.

I suffered from severe for 6 months during my pregnancy and took cyclazine, I suggested he speaks to GP to request anti sickness meds. He was prescribed some, took one and said it made him feel drowsy and groggy so now won’t take any more. So now he’s back to feeling nauseous all day every day, despite only now taking paracetamol and antibiotics.

The dr also prescribed co-codomol but again he’s scared to take it as he says it’ll make him feel groggy and drowsy.

There are basic tasks he could help with such as feeding baby in his highchair or reading him a book to distract him for 10 mins while I have a shower however because of the nausea and drowsiness he doesn’t feel up to doing anything.

I’m going to sound awful but I’m getting so fed up of hearing him complain of his ailments. I fully understand he has had surgery and will experience some pain but it’s as if his expectations are too high and expects to be able to come off the strong painkillers already.

He’s arranged for us to go up and see his family two hour drive away next week. I said I don’t think it’s a good idea as he will likely feel car sick (based on a quick 10 min journey we took this week where he was floored with nausea afterwards). He said he doesn’t want to take his cyclazine but still wants to travel.

AIBU for thinking he should just take the medication he’s been prescribed? Can he seriously be so affected by these medications that he needs to lie in bed all day?

I can’t take any opioid medication at all as I really react so I sympathise that way. Could he gets advice about a TENS machine or non pharmacological pain relief? I know there are pain patches that he might find easier as may not cause nausea.

I could barely walk at that stage. Never mind sit in a car it would have been agony.

Isn't naproxen just another type of ibuprofen?

I don't understand why you're being so passive about it though. As with anyone, if you're not willing to help yourself then stop whining about it and it will be a no to any trips. It's not your job to think of different things and get him to contact GPs.

But you've forgotten about 'I also really want to take a long distance trip despite this'. Not a good idea.

Also it doesn't sound like husband was doing much in the way if childcare before this.....

Is up to him. I only took paracetamol and ibuprofen after knee replacement as don't like opioids

However he cannot suggest travelling 2 hours etc . Do not agree to anything which puts burden on you.

And if he cannot hold baby he needs to arrange some paid help

How old is he?

He’s arranged for us to go up and see his family two hour drive away next week.

Just say no.
He can go alone if he wants

He might be especially fatigued because his pain isn't being adequately managed and his recovery is more complicated due to infection. Pain is really exhausting. He very well could be having reactions to medications, that's very individual.

He's just 2 weeks post hip and I would guess his poor pain control is interfering with his healing.

A trip next week? If his pain isn't managed and he's overly fatigued, that sounds like it's going to set the healing back and is not a reasonable expectation, especially since you're a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

Can he talk to his physio and surgeon about different methods of pain control?

Naproxen is dreadful. He could do paracetamol and ibuprofen turn and turn about though (something suggested by the NHS).

I'd wait a while and see how he is next week - put YANBU, he's being a bit of a drama queen.

I’m sorry you’re being stretched in so many directions, OP, that’s very tough & unfair. He does need to think of you more! I also agree that a GP appt for him could be helpful; it may be something really simply like anaemia, b12, or D deficiency or an another fairly simple underlying condition that can be quickly resolved.

Tempting to think it’s a bit psychological on the tablet / nausea front (esp w naproxen).

I’m afraid I’d be losing my patience with him, on many levels - inc if he doesn’t take his meds he won’t recover (if he responds that it is “only” pain then he needs either to push through it or take stronger ones). Obviously the argument is stronger if it’s an infection but you don’t want that!

He needs to mobilise else he won’t recover from his arthroscopy - kudos for doing his physio but that needs to be combined with normal daily moving around too, with increasing amounts daily. Can he walk up & down stairs yet? (After each of my two hip replacement ops I had to prove I could do that on day 3 before they let me go home.)

fwiw I take 30+ tablets daily for my collection of conditions; if I don’t, I die. Small ones, big ones, capsules & pressed ones, multicoloured, white, nice & nasty tasting - just bloody do it!

What an absolute nuisance and how difficult for you. I just came here to say co-codamol makes me feel ghastly and I don't react to most medication. That one might be fair but there are lots of others meds he can take.

Not got time to read everything, so apologies if repeating something already suggested. This is anxiety. My little sister is exactly the same. He needs some form of therapy.

I am one of those people who never take medication not because I am worried about side effects. I just prefer to not take any medication if I don't have to, rather than having to take more tablets to counter act the side effects from the original tablets. I do have a high pain threshold thanks to having EDS, so my arm can literally be hanging off and I won't take painkillers. I've been like this since a kid.

Hip Arthroscopy isn't that big an op and at two weeks post op I'd be expecting him to be pretty much back to normal. Did they do a lot of intervention in the joint? Rather than just a look and little scrape?

My standard regime would be Paracetamol/ Non-steroidal (Ibuprofen etc) regularly (ie 4 times a day for Paracetamol/ three times a day Ibuprofen) with as required weak opiate (codeine or dihydrocodeine).

Personally I hate opiate side effects and usually only take them prior to bed.

Nausea isn't a common side effect for Non-steroidals - usually that would be abdominal pain due to the risk of gastric ulcerations. Medicine like Omeprazole can counter act that as can taking the tablets with food.

If he was in my family I'd be delivering tough love. My family love me and my lack of sympathy!

(DOI: orthopaedic anaesthetist).

Speak to GP or clinical practice pharmacist.

Sometimes meds are suggested for a much shorter period post surgery than seems reasonable. And lots of people cope with paracetamol for a few weeks.

Topical gels are usually very well tolerated if not like ibuprofen gel or voltatol

Stepdad had an hip replacement post seventy and they wanted him up and moving next day. Physio gave him exercises he must complete each day at home.

Maybe whatever they gave him was ok as a one off and not long term, I was on Fentanyl as even morphine makes me super itchy and doesn't really work but I couldn't be discharged with that.

Nausea isn't a common side effect for Non-steroidals - usually that would be abdominal pain due to the risk of gastric ulcerations. Medicine like Omeprazole can counter act that as can taking the tablets with food Nausea is a very common side effects when taking NSAIDS.

Yeah, I get everyone is different. But from what OP says he seems like he's got an irrational avoidance of all medicine. If he's allergic to stuff then fair enough and then don't use it. But antibiotics? You need those if you've an infection. And pain relief is also needed for recovery.

I agree with a previous poster, an arthroscopy is not that big a deal - I had a knee arthroscopy a few days before Christmas many years ago, and I was still able to move around the kitchen and cook the Christmas dinner with a little help. I wouldn’t deny that it’s painful and I understand he’s had a setback with an infection, but he needs to get a bloody grip.
And staying in bed all day won’t do him a scrap of good either, he needs to get up and get mobile. I speak as someone who’s had two full knee replacements - get off your arse, take the pain relief, do the bloody exercises!

Naproxen doesn't make you groggy, any more than does Paracetamol. I've been on it periodically for about 10 years and have been using it daily since September.

As others say, it's probably psychosomatic.

I've had Dihydrocodeine in the past and it's pretty grotty, but effective. It does make you groggy, causes stomach gripes and leaves a nasty taste. I sometimes take Tramadol, Dihydrocodeine isn't much used these days.

Thank you for sharing this! Very helpful. There was work to do with the cartilage (repair or removal, not sure) and anchors put in I believe.

Im getting annoyed now as he agreed he would take paracetamol and ibuprofen however hasn’t taken any since 8.30 this morning and is complaining of being wiped out. It must be the pain that is wiping him out. I despair!

Is it the case that not adequately managing the pain can set his recovery back?

Yes, it's very tiring to be in constant pain.

A quick Google -Does naproxen make you sleepy?
Feeling sleepy is a common side effect of naproxen. You may you feel drowsy, tired or dizzy. Avoid driving, using machinery or doing other tasks that require concentration until you know how this medication affects you. Talk to your healthcare provider if you’re concerned about sleepiness or other side effects.

He sounds a bit of a pain tbh, I think generally if people don't want to take pain medication etc, fair enough, some people do prefer the pain - but then he kind of needs to not complain or stop helping because of it. Or take the meds. I suffer very bad reactions to antibiotics, so I let whichever doctor is prescribing them know, and we find a type that works for me - it is possible. I do find that after a general anaesthetic (if that's what he had) I feel drowsy for ages, like weeks. Maybe it's just my body healing but it always seems to take me a long time to feel my usual energy levels, so it might be that too. I feel like he either needs to suck it up, or speak to his GP about managing his meds to find a balance that works for him. Women never get this level of time out for medical reasons in my experience!

@Vedette89 Nope I haven’t forgotten about it. I literally addressed it in my post.

If he generally doesn’t pull his weight (not sure where you’ve gotten that from, because he has symptoms of a fatigue condition? Many thousands of people do…) then that’s a whole separate issue and nothing to do with hip surgery or medication.