What would you do every thing you could even though your child had done something awful?

[Sparklesandbananas]

If your child had sa’d and roped someone. The child is under 16. The victim is also under 16. Would you do everything to prevent them from being held up by the law in every possible way. Mother of child who has committed this awful act has begged for the police not to be called and said she wants the matter dealt with avoiding authorities. The police were called and they are taking this extremely seriously. Siblings and victim no longer in contact with other child. Mother is saying the parent of the victim is cruel to prevent the child from having a relationship with siblings. The child that committed this act has used his apparent rights to no comment the interview. Mother and lawyer told him to do this apparently. It took a whole year to track the child down and interview him due to mother hiding her son and ignoring contact to call him in for interview. Cps has requested records that the mother is protesting to have access to. Her son is a dangerous young man who will act inappropriately again. His phone also went missing and his clothes. She’s not cooperating in any way with the police. Meanwhile the victim of this awful crime has got to live with trauma every day. He’s studying towards working with vulnerable people who he should not be anywhere near them and getting on with his life. He has two young siblings that live with him that are at risk of becoming victims of his behaviour. I want to understand from a mothers prospective how far you would go to protect your children.

I'm sorry but what's with "if you child had sa'd and roped someone". This is a site for adults, you can use your actual words if you want to discuss topics like rape and sexual assault.

This is a really unnecessary comment, some social media cites delete content with those words. Op is probably just sticking to that rule to be safe.

I wouldn't be starting a thread on an ongoing criminal investigation.

Honestly, I would be torn initially because of live. I think I would feel compelled to do the right thing, though.

Thankyou for your response. I would hope most people are compelled to go the right thing.

Love, not live!

Yes, I would but also know I would keep contact with them thereafter.

I would turn him in myself. I would protect my kids with my life but not from the consequences of sexual assault or rape. That’s unforgivable to me and my duty would always be to protect the victim.

I'd still love them but unfortunately would have to hand them over.

I guess theres the major question here as to whether you know they’ve done these things, or if they’ve been accused but you don’t believe they did it.

Theyre two very different situations.

I have held everything in and done the right thing and watched on as the other party get away with there behaviour. I’m remaining anonymous not naming people.

I imagine it’s one of those scenarios where most people think they know exactly what they’d do until it becomes their child who they have to do it for, especially when the child is still a child and not an adult. I hope this woman can access support so that she can come to terms with what’s happening and realise why the police have had to be involved and to cooperate with them, but I can’t pretend to know that I’d feel exactly that way immediately in her shoes.

I suspect that my knee jerk reaction would be to protect my son but I would hope that I would overcome this and turn him in. As humans we have an almost primal instinct to protect the status quo even when the status quo is bad.

Absolutely this.

It sounds like the mother in the op believes her child is innocent.

Honestly, as this is an anonymous forum I'll admit that I don't know. Before kids I would have 100% said I would turn them in and make them face the consequences and if they were an adult I still think I would but I've been surprised at how ferocious my instincts have been over my children.

The rapist is still a child. We know that because of how awful juvie is and the criminal justice system it can often drag people further into crime and studies are supporting this. A criminal record could ruin their lives as our country doesn't seem to believe in redemption, fairly tbh as we have no rehabilitation system in this country.

The child who has been raped is the true victim and their life has been ruined forever and that should be the focus but as horrific as it sounds I can see a world where I delude myself, make excuses about his mental health and his needs rather than the victims, insist I can help/ fix him without authorities etc and conspire to keep him out of prison.

It's not right, he should face justice, those instincts would be wrong and the mother should fully cooperate. I would be a terrible person for keeping my son from punishment but you asked what goes through a mother's mind and I can see it.

I think that's by far the most honest answer @Wolfhat .

On threads like these the majority of posts tend to be 'son or not I would turn him in/cut him off/kick him out and never speak again' or whatever.

In reality, I suspect the % of women who would actually do this is far lower than these replies would suggest.

If my son did that I would call the police on him myself. As a pp said, there are many things I'd probably protect him from that I shouldn't but rape/sexual assault would be a complete no. Even if he is a teenager, they know rape is wrong so I wouldn't protect him from the consequences of his actions

If my child had committed a serious crime, I’d turn them in myself. That doesn’t mean I’d disown them, but likewise I’d make sure they were held to account.

When my under 16 had committed sa I was the one who rang the police.. Anything less makes you also a monster...
Imo

OK so I don't have a son but if I did and he admitted to doing something like this or there was evidence then I don't think think I would protect him. If he ever hurt kids I'd lock him up or worse myself. On the other hand there would be some things I would overlook e.g if he murdered a peodofile ect

If I KNEW they'd committed a crime like this I wouldn't shield them from the consequences. I might pay for a lawyer though as everyone deserves a fair trial. And expect I'd visit them in prison. I think my feelings would be very dependant on whether they are truly repentent or not.

If there was doubt about whether they'd committed the crime or not I would proceed under the assumption of innocent until proven guilty.

I would love my child unconditionally but make them face the consequence for their actions.

If the mother here is obstructing the law she should also be charged.

This.

Who are you in all of this OP?
I have 2 sons - I would 100% report them myself. I would also be there by their side through it all and ensure they get the help they need.

I am the victims mother. This boy needs lots of help and intervention away from mum. He has been led to believe this was a “mistake”. She is no help to this boy.

She knows he’s done this. He’s gone on to make a joke regarding this. He’s got no remorse. The police have remarked him smirking and laughing during interview.