Female only housing and reaction to it

[RhaenysRocks]

Haven't seen another thread on this but apologies if it's already somewhere. Ealing creating a tower lock for female only residents. NOT a safe house in the traditional sense of being hidden away but female only for feelings of security etc. Depressing reactions on SM, mostly around "what about men?" "Who's going to build it"? and inevitably the question of transwomen. Also an interesting point raised about male children and what happens when they turn 18. AIBU to think this is a good initiative and it's depressing that so many reactions are automatically ignoring the valid concerns of women who are typically more vulnerable than men and crying "double standards" rather than acknowledging that it is male behaviour that has created a perceived need for this?

Then they have to move out. You can't choose female only housing and then decide to change it. That idea works for those who don't want to live with men, that's the point of it. If you want men staying over then this is not the place for you.

However yes, the rules around male children do complicate matters and a number of the rules in general seem very muddy. It's a good idea in theory but a lot more thinking needs to be done before it could work successfully.

I saw a post on instagram about this and the comments were sickening. Made me lose what faith a had left in humanity (men).

I think it's a good idea, although one that I think would better suit women at either end of the age spectrum- either young women starting out in life without partners or children; or divorced/widowed older women who want community but not a partner, and whose children are self-sufficient adults.

I also think it is better suited to women who can make an informed choice to be there, and understand the rules, rather than women who are homeless or desperate and will agree to anything and deal with the consequences later.

The hardest thing to solve for me is the issue with male children. I don't know how to solve this, possibly with a guarantee of alternative accomodation for either mother and son, or son alone- but would that be allowed under allocation rules? Or perhaps a no children rule?

To the PP who said 'A work colleague of mine died a few years ago, she lived in a council house with her adult son. He was given 3 weeks to leave after she died, he was only 19.'

You say this blithely, as if it is a happy solution to the problem. I see it as an inhuman way to treat someone. It happened to someone I know when they were 18, it was awful, they had just been left orphaned but were evicted in a few weeks- all of the furniture and personal effects were sold as they had nowhere to go and needed all the money they could get for a rental deposit. They ended up sofa surfing for a while, and spent time in a homeless hostel, all whilst grieving the death of his parents. So I don't see it as the happy solution that you seem to.

I spent a lot of time working with mainly female offices. It was awful. I don't know why or how I became the target but the bullying was constant and ended only when I changed careers.

I have no doubt that in a women only environment cliques and bullying will occur from a young age.

I didn’t imply it was a “happy solution” 🙄 if you actually read the rest of my post you’d see that I said that male children should not be made homeless.

Apologies, I obviously didn't read closely enough.

I'm glad that you don't see it as a good option either.

I agree with a previous poster, that segregation probably isn’t the answer in the grand scheme of things.
I like the idea on paper. In reality I imagine it’s too difficult.
And the awful, greying cynic in me thinks: well, if someone wanted to assault a woman, they’ll know where to find a bunch of them. 😕

No worries sorry I probably overreacted!

Part of me really does like the idea of, if not communal living, but a women only community as I get older. Somewhere where you live near, but not with one another, where there is company to be found if you want it, a supportive environment with plenty to do both outside and inside. Not necessarily for retired women either, but certainly for those who are totally over the "impressing men" stage of their lives. A lot of women only stay in their marriages as they get older because they are worried about being lonely.

And we dont need housing associations to do it either. I wouldnt want them policing my love/sex life along with everything else Too many HAs think they own tenants as it is when they just own the properties the tenants live in.