Female only housing and reaction to it

[RhaenysRocks]

Haven't seen another thread on this but apologies if it's already somewhere. Ealing creating a tower lock for female only residents. NOT a safe house in the traditional sense of being hidden away but female only for feelings of security etc. Depressing reactions on SM, mostly around "what about men?" "Who's going to build it"? and inevitably the question of transwomen. Also an interesting point raised about male children and what happens when they turn 18. AIBU to think this is a good initiative and it's depressing that so many reactions are automatically ignoring the valid concerns of women who are typically more vulnerable than men and crying "double standards" rather than acknowledging that it is male behaviour that has created a perceived need for this?

Here we go.

Just make sure those boys don’t put on a dress. It’s at this time, that they immediately become a threat. Apparently. They will then be unable to go anywhere.

Nothing to do with the sisterhood, it’s marketed as female only housing. It’s not free, subsidised or cheap, there’s no reason for someone to move in with boys and then moan about not being allowed when they are adult men, much less be “concerned” by it.
They don’t have to live there.

It doesn’t sound that stupid to those of us who were bullied by other teenage girls as teenagers.

I don’t think it’s a particularly well-reasoned idea to have a large and very visible block of housing which more or less advertises the presence of vulnerable women, many with poor boundaries and who are receiving support to work through them (as some of the flats will be allocated move-on accommodation for women leaving shelters) somewhere where plenty of men in the area can take advantage of that - though I suppose it must have been a key consideration to have gotten this far in decision-making.

And this was while you were living in women-only accommodation? If not, it's not relevant. A

I can see this started off as a great idea but then the ‘yes, but what about…’ started and it got diluted down.
male partners - yes
male adult children of owners - yes
and obviously, TW.

It’s a just another block of flats.

I think it's just prioritising women, not banning men or boys. It'll start out predominately women and then will dilute gradually a little over time. Any change in the rentals will prioritise women candidates. No ban on partners or sons and sons will be able to take over tenancies on the passing of their mothers if they are eligible.
It's pretty sensible and the balance will always remain predominantly female due to the prioritisation of females when units become available.

And that makes every woman the same? Yawn.

I wish there was female only housing near me. the only rooms i can find are in squalid little flats, mostly advertised by east asian men as "suitable for single female" you go to look at the places (Why I continue to do this i have no idea as its awful) and they leer at you and you just know it would bea bad situation. anything that not highly questionable is shockingly expensive.

I thourghly approve of a female only building. For women born as females thanks. No penisis over the age of 18..

What a compassionate reply.

I’m not keen as I don’t think segregation is healthy outside of certain protected safe spaces. It reminds me of a hotel I once stayed at in Saudi which had a women’s only floor. On its face a nice idea for safety reasons, but in the wider context of a wholly misogynistic culture it’s not a good thing. Separating men and women is not the answer- if there is a need for this then those issues should be addressed.

What’s compassionate about suggesting every teenage girl is a bully?

Is your argument that no female-on-female bullying or aggression happens in female-only spaces?

I didn’t suggest that. Sorry that talking about the reality of my experience offends you.

You’re not exactly making a persuasive case for women being unaggressive towards other women.

As a single 55 year old with adult children, I'd happily live somewhere like this. I'm done with men. There are plenty of women like me out there. No"whataboutary' needed.

No, it's that your undoubtedly horrible experience has no bearing on whether this block should or can be largely or wholly single sex.

Calling out someone suggesting that all girls are bullies is not aggressive.

I think its a positive option for several reasons. Working in this borough with vunerable families, housing is a huge challenge, and its overwhelming single mums with young children who we encounter most. But there would need to be safeguards in place, such as moving to alternative housing once any male children reach 18. A proportion will move out to go to university at 18, but most will need a place to return during holidays. But this can be planned for, hopefully having safe and secure housing will enable women to get back on their feet economically and can then privately rent or join general housing wait list well in advance.

In London (and in many other areas) that just isn't possible, as private renting is unaffordable and social housing has been sold so there isn't enough left.

I can't see how this would work in practical terms

I agree.

My daughter goes to an all girls comp, and the freedom it affords them has been incredible.

Bullying-wise, there doesn’t seem to be much, and less than in a mixed school by the looks of things. A lot of the bullying, whether on SM or not, that people associate with girls is probably over boys/ to impress boys.

Obviously they aren’t all perfect little angels but the freedom they have to be themselves is striking.

I can see it working for short term lets but it won't work for lifelong tenancies. It's got a 5 year max lifespan before it's mixed sex I recon.

I also agree that segregation of men & women isn't the answer to VAWG but until we find what the answer is, I wish women who have suffered trauma at the hand of men could have somewhere they feel safe to call home.

A block of women's flats including male partners, men who identify as women (but for some reason, not women who identify as men?) and teenage boys just doesn't sound like it fulfils the brief to me.

Re the actual point of the thread, I think this is a great idea in principle, but unsure how it would work.

Maybe the answer would be 1. No male over a certain age (13?) to enter the premises, even as guest 2. Anyone with a son who turns that age is found somewhere equivalent to live - as in, they’d have to be a really good system in place for that before this could be built.

No ideal, but I agree having teen boys there defeats the object.

Edit - or maybe as a pp has said, it would only work for short term lets. Which is a shame! I could see it working better for elderly women maybe?

Quite