To leave kids in bed whilst I run

[Wanttodobetter]

I’m a single parent to 4 children, youngest 8 and eldest 14. I want to run for 30 mins locally early morning whilst they’re still asleep. 2 have phones and I’ll leave a number of a neighbour. That’s fine right?!

@BoredZelda

if he’s that kind of man he’d find anything to use against her. She can’t live her life in fear

I can't see a judge thinking she's a bad mother for doing this. More likely he or she would see the father as being a disruptive influence.

If the neighbours call social services and report you for leaving children at home alone they will have something to say about it and with you having issues with your ex id personally not risk it until the youngest is 14. Run in your lunch hour at work or after work 🤷‍♀️

@greencartbluecart

why would an eight year old get very scared about their mum going out for a run??

skipping gives me a headache so that would be a no from me

@Nearly50omg

why would the neighbours report her to social services??

Don’t run, OP. In fact don’t exercise at all. You’re a parent now and exercise is a luxury, not a priority.

Don’t you know children shouldn’t be left at home without you until at least the age of 21??

You spend your morning cooking breakfast ready for your kids to wake up to. Running indeed! You’re not a single woman you know!

…according to some mumsnetters anyway 🙄

I am sorry this happened to you, Child abuse destroys lives and we should always protect our children to the best of our abilities. But we should protect through knowledge and open communication and not by believing that we can be physically present constantly. Raising fearful children who cannot cope alone for short periods of time and see threat where it doesn’t exist is not a healthy approach.

Could your youngest not get into the same issues if you were asleep though

So based on your post, are you suggesting that at all times someone in the house is awake?

Because you're insinuating that people can't be in a house, asleep, incase there's a fire...

What use would OP be if all were asleep and there was a fire, as you said " if they had been asleep they’d all have most likely died"

@PopeJoan2 @WildCats24

its not the same! You don’t get the fresh air, the nature, the nice weather of a run.

This!

No, I wouldn't leave 4 kids sleeping while I went for a run .

Exercise is great, we should all do it.

We don't need to wait until kids are 21, but an 8yr old is young. Yes yes I'm sure lots of posters at 14yrs olds were babysitting whole classrooms of toddlers but the fact is kids shouldn't be left, asleep while a parent naffs off out.

Arrange your life better op.

My kids would be fine with this - and whilst they're 15 and 11 now, in lockdown they were more that age, and I had no choice but to leave them alone sometimes, so they got used to it.

Of course even now when I leave them the youngest will message me regarding if he's allowed whatever snack he's just found, but he's fine.

I'd tell them, leave a note (in case they forgot) and they'll get used to it very quickly I'd say.

Why on earth wouldn't they survive? An 8 yo is perfectly able to react to a fire alarm by leaving the house by the nearest exit, and a 14 yo is perfectly able to remind everyone what to do if they forget.

That's plenty old enough to be left for half an hour. There's 4 of them, and the youngest is plenty old enough to look after themselves in the morning.
"Arrange your life better"? Are you offering to come and babysit so a single mum of 4 can exercise? Several times a week for the next decade? That's so kind of you!

Fine (lone parent here).
Do they know the route you're taking in case YOU have a problem and they need to locate you?

@Gloriia
she sounds perfectly organised. There is nothing wrong with what she is proposing. What exactly is your issue with it?

It’s fine as long as you let them know beforehand.
Tell them the night before that you’ll be running between this time and if anything happens go to the eldest 2.
I’d also leave some croissants or something out in case they’re hungry and you don’t want the youngest messing around with toasters.

I'm pretty sure social services would have no concerns about a this. At all.
You think a child should not be home alone until at least 14 years old?

Hmm thing is kids tend to need an adult around. Inconvenient I know.

You can't just naff off and keave 4 kids asleep in a house. Well she can and she is but nope, it is neither safe nor ok.

How would we all feel if at school the teacher popped out for half an hour and left kids unattended. Bet there'd be lots of frothin folk on here.

Get a treadmill, do a Davina dvd.

They're asleep! They aren't supervising or making sure things are ok. If they were up and awake then fine, but not asleep.

You actually can do this, open the door and leave, works well.

Great plan. 4 kids wandering around in their pj's looking for Mum. It gets better .

What wouldn't be ok though? What would go wrong for an 8yo at that time of morning that couldn't be handled by waking up a teenager or waiting for mum to get home? What kind of things are you anticipating?

If your teenagers would do that, you've failed as a parent. That's on you.