SIL being spitefull?

[Bringonthesun1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? SIL has been doing a few of what I believe to be “spiteful” things recently. My DS was in her company the other day and he mentioned about something new he had seen and they looked cool , but “mum is going to order me one!” As soon as he said that SiL told him “oh I will get you one anyway, ill pay for it to arrive faster than mums one and ill buy a few extras to go with it” 🧐 she did not bank on DS (9) telling me this. She is coming over this evening uninvited for my DD’s birthday (I had invited MIL and FIL, but she told my son she would be taging along!) aibu to be a bit miffed and to think that there is some strabge one up-age going on here with her? She is DH’s sister

I think you are making a drama out of nothing. She wants to be there for your DD’s birthday which is nice surely. Why didn’t you invite her with your mil and fil?
Th gift for your son- why make an issue out of it?

Neither action is spiteful imo.

There is a major history of boundary crossing. She was not invited because she physically assaulted my DH last year.

Not even the, “ill pay extra so it arrives faster than mums obe?”

Why are you letting your son be alone with her when you know she makes bitchy remarks?

🙄

She bought your kids stuff and wanted to come to their birthday. What a bitch!

YABU get a grip.

That’s quite the drip feed.

Did she aye?

Not spiteful, a little childish perhaps.

Because she's specifically getting a gift that she knows that op is planning on getting whilst making snide underhanded comments about how she's willing to pay more for express shipping and extras to her nephew, that's not nice it's a nasty spiteful thing that's intended to cause issues between her nephew and his mum.

Have her and your husband since made up? Siblings do argue, even as adults they can behave like stroppy teenagers.

I don't see the issue . It sounds as though she cares about her nephew and niece wanted to buy him something And to celebrate her birthday
I don't see any spite
There is obviously something else happening here though and it sounds as though you don't like her

I wouldn't get too invested in drama at this stage. A lot can be lost in translation when the messenger is a nine year old. If you witness spite yourself then you can address it.

It only causes issues if you allow it to cause issues. I would just say - that’s really nice that she is doing that for you. Creates no drama and we all move on.

No they have not. They are not on speaking terms and she well knows this. She has never apologised but continues to disregard and disrespect us because she believes she has rights to our children. (DC were with mil and fil when she arrived to see them knowing DH and me would not be there)

Its the other way round, but no I no longer like her either after everything shes done

You didn't give the full story in your original post. The examples you gave weren't spiteful on their own.
But there has obviously been a family rift.

But you let your son be alone with her?

I'm very surprised that you allow your ds to spend time with her if she actually assaulted your DH last year

Why are you letting her have access to your DC if she assaulted their dad?

If she physically assaults people why don't you just stop your child from seeing her?

Otherwise if she wants to buy him gifts, let her get on with it. Either you accept her attempts at bonding with your child; which may be clumsy, or you just fully stop contact.

Please read other post, she turned up at in laws house when she knew they were there without myself and dh.

Please read other post, she turned up at in laws house when she knew they were there without myself and dh.

We have attempted this is why im so angry at her right now.