SIL being spitefull?

[Bringonthesun1]

AIBU to be annoyed here? SIL has been doing a few of what I believe to be “spiteful” things recently. My DS was in her company the other day and he mentioned about something new he had seen and they looked cool , but “mum is going to order me one!” As soon as he said that SiL told him “oh I will get you one anyway, ill pay for it to arrive faster than mums one and ill buy a few extras to go with it” 🧐 she did not bank on DS (9) telling me this. She is coming over this evening uninvited for my DD’s birthday (I had invited MIL and FIL, but she told my son she would be taging along!) aibu to be a bit miffed and to think that there is some strabge one up-age going on here with her? She is DH’s sister

If she assaulted your husband no I’d not be having her in the house either . She’s trying to get one up on you re the gift I think

Just hand the gifts back.
Your dc can know not everyone is nice to have in their lives..
Stop leaving dc with ils.
Simple.

so begins the drip drip drip.......😂

Contact your in-laws and tell them that she isn't invited and won't be allowed in the house, unless your DH wants her there. She knows that your child will tell you what's being said, so she is being deliberately inflammatory. Decide with your DH what the boundaries are and stick to them.

If the woman is physically violent and is engineering a situation to be with your children against your wishes, surely that's the issue you should be worrying about. Whether the physically violent person gaining unpermitted access to your children may or may not have said something to be a bit spiteful to you, is surely neither here nor there.

Did she turn up?

What the hell am I reading here? Of course she’s being spiteful! Underhandedly trying to win favour by promising a present sooner and “with extra things”, knowing full well his mum is wanting to buy it for him. I’m sure all these naysayer posters would love that… 🙄

Obviously she’s mentally unhinged, and a spiteful b*tch. Don’t let her cross the door when she turns up, if she insists on pushing her way through, throw her out and / or call the police, before she puts your pet bunny rabbit on the stove.

“My SIL assaulted my dh last year. AIBU not to want her to spend time with my children?”

No, you are not being unreasonable.

Why waste time with all the other faff?

Just send her and in-laws a message she’s not welcome please don’t turn up.

She sounds vindictive and not someone I would want around my kids.
I would stop time with pil without you being there.

This should be a concern about SIL being a safeguarding risk rather than a concern about her beng spiteful. She is in fact both but the safeguarding risk is much greater.
I hope your DH made it clear why she and her gift were not welcome and that you do not condone her sneaky and aggressive behaviour and for that reason she should stay away from you and your son.
When your son is in the care of your in laws, you can’t dictate who is and isn’t allowed into their house. The onus of responsibility falls back on to you. If you don’t want to take the risk of SIL having access to DS again, then don’t let him go there.
Only you know how serious a risk she really is.

She sounds a nob, keep contact to a minimum.

She did. I politely asked her to leave and that she knew why. She started crying/screaming and threw a bag of presents at my DD and left. In laws stayef for DD’s sake but MIL snuck into the kitchen to have a go at me for asking her daughter to leave. I asked her to re direct her anger at an over grown toddler who had just there a bag of presents at my own daughter and that if she couldn’t do that then she could leave as well.

@Bringonthesun1 cant believe your mil is actually standing up for sil!! she knows her daughter is way out of line here! and it is your house, so your rules. remember that when you need mil for childcare. your house only, not hers!

Good! Modelling clear, calm boundaries for your kids is very sensible.

Why wasn’t that in your original post?