To ask if you had your time again would you make the same family decisions

[Fragmentedbrain]

Who/if you married
Whether or not you had kids
How you managed your adult relationships with siblings/parents

I would do everything the same. Even what later turned out to be difficult situations. That’s what’s made me who I am. Regret is pointless.

I would have done absolutely everything the same

I dated my now husband briefly , but broke up with him largely because of bad timing. I ended up marrying someone else and divorcing relatively quickly.

in some ways, I wish I could turn back time and just have stayed with my DH. Yet, would I be the same person? I did have some great experiences with my XH. Not every moment was bad. Overall I do land on wishing DH and I had those extra years together.

I wish I’d worked harder for my sibling relationships but my husband and children are all I could ever want.

I would have parented differently as dd turned out late diagnosed autistic and had loads of anxiety as a result. I would have used different techniques if I'd known. But we have talked about this and she understands I was only doing what I was advised at the time. She is 19 now and we are very close but her mid teens were very very hard.

I would have cut my mother out long before I did.

I was in an abusive marriage but I wouldn't have had my kids if I wasn't so overall I would have gone through that again to get my kids.

I would have pushed harder when I knew something was wrong in one of my pregnancies rather than being patronised, and then my poor dd wouldn't have suffered through the two weeks she lived for. I could have taken on that pain for her.

Yes

I would have had one more child. I didn’t realise how short the young years are, and how quickly it all passes.

I wouldn’t have had children.

Yes. There's nothing that would make me want to change my children.

No. I made a very bad choice of husband and though I absolutely adore my kids, if I hadn't chosen him I would still have kids I adore but with a reasonable and kind father for them instead of being a single mum. Or maybe not because I could choose badly again! Or a million other things could go wrong too I guess. But I do regret my choice of husband so so much, the pain he has caused us.

That’s a hard question!

if I hadn’t got with fuckwit was going to be be a DH XDP I would t have had ds. So I can’t regret that.

But being a LP to a disabled child has meant I haven’t met anyone else and had no more children and I always wanted lots.

However it’s possible that DS disability is genetic from me so again I don’t know if I would have had more anyway and I can’t know if I hadn’t met XDP or hadn’t had ds with him if I’d have met someone else and been blessed with children.

But that’s the thing with “what ifs”. They are an unknown. And I couldn’t know to do things differently because at the time things were right iyswim?

I would have stopped trying to be siblings with my half siblings many years earlier than when I finally pulled the plug. They were never interested. I would never have married my ex husband. He was abusive and really screwed me up.

I would have valued my mum even more than I did and spent lots more time with her.

💯 everything connected to DH and the girls. I think I might have done a bit more skills training when I was younger and braver.

Yes, I would have married my husband again even though he brings me a lot of unhappiness at times, he gave me my kids.

The change would be handling relationships with my parents and in-laws. I worked too hard for too long to consider others people’s feelings before realising much later that no one ever considered mine. So I’d be much more selfish if I was to relive my life again. I think that is the secret to happiness - being true to oneself most of the time.

Yes I’d do things differently. I love my DH but would never marry someone with children already if I had my time again. I’d also either have my two children closer together (6 year Gap).

No.

I would've put up more boundaries with my DM and not let her have so much influence over my life choices.

I'm not sure if I would have children again, maybe I would if I had them with someone else.

I would have never married my abusive ex. We got married when we discovered I was pregnant. If I had my time again I would not tell him and flee. I couldn’t wish never to have met him because I couldn’t loose my dd.

I would be more aware of sexism and feminism and cock lodgers. I was raised and told we had won equality and being feminist is terrible, while also taught to accept housework and childcare as woman’s role along side bringing in a wage equal to the man. Made some terrible decisions in my life because I was so nieve (how do you spell that??!). And suffered because I trusted too easily.

No. I never would have/should have married my ex husband. I wish I never met him, never mind married him (and put up with his shit for 25 years..)

Yes, generally very happy with all the choices I made. I have a lovely Dh and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone but him. I have lovely dc and I had exactly the number of children I wanted and at the age I wanted to have them.

I have no relationships with my parents (dad died when I was a teenager and I have been NC with my mum for several years). In a perfect world, I do wish I had my mum, as the person she was when I was growing up, in my life. But her life took a turn and it’s quite dysfunctional now and I’m glad she isn’t in my life anymore. Yes, I do wish I had my old happy healthy well mum, but there were no choices I could have made differently for that to be the case. If anything, I wish I hadn’t let the years drag on so much and I would have more divisively gone NC with her sooner. But outcome is all the same.

I also have a half brother who I haven’t seen or spoken to in 25 years. But I’m quite happy with that choice and I wouldn’t have chosen to have him around in my adult life anyway.

So yes, pretty happy with all the choices I’ve made and I can’t think of anything I would have wanted do differently.

If i were to have the same dc I would have had them in my early 30s and closer together, 2 or 3 years not 5. But no real regrets, that's just in an ideal world, with the knowledge I now have. Who knows in the future I may consider it all to have been timed perfectly.

This is going to sound mercenary but it really isn’t. I’m not money driven. DH was excluded from school several times (both DS’s diagnosed with ADHD…). Left school with no qualifications and still at 61 is working a minimum wage job. I hate that the burden of earning falls to me. I hate being skint. I hate worrying about money all the time. But I do love him dearly. I just wish life were easier.

Nothing im happy with who i am and how life is.
I have no regrets.
No kids no man no pets no debt.
Anyone that hurt me in the past or even now i let them know in a nice friendly calm way what they did was wrong wish them well and block move on without drama or making a fuss.

I would have spent more time with my parents when they were healthy, and been more accepting of the people they were (not abusive, just old-fashioned and didn’t talk about emotions).

I would have married DH earlier (we got together quite young but didn’t get married until several years later).

I would have tried for a second child - was 38 when I had DD and initially I wasn’t sure if I wanted another. Now I’m older, I wish I had tried for another even if it was unlikely due to my age. Not a huge regret, but I do think ‘what if…?’ sometimes.

I’d do everything differently. I wouldn’t have been a sahm. I would have had a career.